Morning After HEADLINES!!!!!!!

[wake.up.america]

Nov 7, 2006 at 23:06:17
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HEADLINES!!!!!!!

A sample of headlines in your morning "newspapers"


Bush declares the latest election results as being un American and unconstitutional.

Bush vows water boarding to be illegal, except for suspected terrorists and those who did not vote Republican. Is proposing a law declaring non Republicans as enemy combatants.

Fox News vows to extend fair and balanced reporting. Drudge promises to do the same.

Sanity returns to America - White House staff distraught and confused!

Al Queda wins!

The terrorists win - America loses!

America in big trouble! Demos hate America!

Pelosi will create huge financial deficits.

Charles Rangel hates minorities!

Pharmaceutical Industry on verge of collapse.

House favours consultation on war in Iraq. Why do they hate America?

Dennis Haster, greatest House speaker, ever, turns over House to San Francisco pervert Nancy Pelosi. (Dennis' greatest accomplishment was having more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book)

The rest of world applauds election results in US. Who needs the rest of the world?

Rove miscalculates in his attempt to steal the House for the Republicans. Why does Karl hate America?

Charles Dobson predicts less turn over for major churches in USA. Dobson demands his staff to down size to Mercedes 500 from Mercedes 600

Pat Robertson predicts the coming rapture to appear sooner as result of election.

Major church leader in Austin Texas, claims wife has filed for divorce based on expected down turn in income.

Osama invited to Pelosi's office for consultations.

House leader encourages passage of minimum wage increase. Why does she hate America?

Bush promises to veto everything not designed to help his buddies Claims it's un American not to support tax grants for upper 1 %

Bush reveals plan to invade Panama, says it's good for America. "And besides, it's a lot easier than invading North Korea. Also gets people from thinking about Barbara Boxer, John Conyers and that evil woman, Nancy Pelosi."


White House opposes increase of political science courses in high schools across the nation - claims it's "not conducive to good government".

Karl Rove last seen in an orange jump suit on way to Gitmo.

Bush last seen sweating bullets, despite getting wired for a question and answer session in the House.

Michael J. Fox suddenly regains health. See- it was just a show!!

Limbaugh becomes press secretary, promises, "No more Mr. Nice Guy."

Bush fires science adviser, Rush Limbaugh,

Bush demands elimination of wind power energy, claims it's a danger to the oil industry.

Ringling Brother Circus PR advisor to secure job as image counsellor for Bush.

Karen Hughes. "Miss Congeniality" extended as US "Good Will Ambassador." Will spend at least one day every 6 moths travelling the world.

Bush decries tax increase proposal to the very wealthy as not being fair. Demos say this will help to reduce the deficit and allow tax relief to the lower and middle classes. Bush counters with, "Anyway you look at it, it's still a tax increase. And a tax increase is not fair to lower and middle class America."

Arnold, cutting back on school funding, "Nobody should be able to speak English gooder than me."