Not only can freepers not spell...

[Sapphocrat]

...but they can't rhyme, and have no sense of metre.

I usually avoid Freaksville like the plague it is, but it was just too tempting last night not to peek in and watch the meltdown. While trying to navigate my way around that godawful mess they call a "Web site," I stumbled across this "Election Night Poem" -- which is absolutely mesmerizing in its awfulness. Here are my favorite stanzas:

Twas the night of elections and all through the Senate
Not a congressman was sleeping, not a single incumbent
The voters were casting their ballots with great care
In hopes that lawyers would not have to be there

<snip>

Out from the podium walked Secretary Tony Snow
With interesting news, for him to bestow
The pre election polls were wrong, it appears
Meeting all of the Democrats worst fears

The exit polls were also concluded too quick
(Jon Carry left the room, we think he is sick)
One by one, Republicans won their claim
And Secretary Tony Snow read them all by name

<snip>

Iraqi President Talabani was quite so elated
The Iraqi people cheered and celebrated
In a cave far away, Bin Laden was sad
For hiding in that hole sure has been bad

<snip>

More, if you can stop laughing long enough to click the link:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1734433/posts

(Since when does "Senate" rhyme with "incumbent"? And who is this "Jon Carry" person? :rofl:)

[Union Thug]

1. I don't think it's possible to make it any worse. Wow.

Jon Carry?

[Sapphocrat]

13. Maybe he's thinking of...

...Jim Carrey?

[Kierkegaard]

2. Reminds me of the movie "Mr Deeds," where Adam Sandler

was eulogizing his uncle.

[Redstone]

3. What a fucking maroon, as Bugs Bunny used to say. (Without, of course, the

"fucking" part.) Is this the same freep clown who used to write those dreadful "songs?"

Redstone

[Sapphocrat]

11. I think his username...

...is CJacobs, or something like that. I am not going back to find out. LOL

[OneBlueSky]

4. maybe they're trying to rap? . . . n/t

.

[TlalocW]

5. Eh...

I've heard worse. For example...

Billy mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He aint gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin off of the peoples taxes
- Steve Miller, "Take the Money and Run"

TlalocW

[Redstone]

15. Well, it's Steve Miller. You have to expect his lyrics are going to be dreadful.

Just like you have to expect his guitar riffs are going to be "borrowed."

Redstone

[XanaDUer]

6. *Sniff*

That lovely poem made me cry, it was so beautiful.

[Hav]

7. .

Lol, he must be like 13 years old.


"The troops, they killed the terrorist's will
With only limited lives lost, little blood spill
American troops came home with great pride
To parades, flags, covering the countryside"


Freaking idiot...

[Left Is Write]

14. He must be delusional.

[LeftCoast]

8. My only consolation for having read that doggerel

is knowing that the person who wrote it is fucking miserable right now.

:rofl:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

9. Oh dear....They misspelled "hugh."

Point:

But then we turned to Fox news, for what it mattered
HUGE NEWS, the screen all covered and splattered
Something new and different, a real news flash
True news, not just another old rehash

I'm so sorry, FReeps. I thought you knew the 11th Newspeak Dictionary had come out.

[Sapphocrat]

12. When I got to the "HUGE" line...

...that was my first thought too! :rofl:

[Window]

10. LOL! I saw that last night, but couldn't get past the first verse.

n/t

[bbernardini]

16. Maybe he meant Jon Cryer? nt

[DianaForRussFeingold]

17. "DOCTOR, DOCTOR... GIMME THE NEWS!!! The GOP has a bad case of Republican Blues!!!

. "DOCTOR, DOCTOR... GIMMEE THE NEWS!!!

The GOP has a bad case of Republican Blues!!!" OFFICIAL THANK YOU DR. HOWARD DEAN THREAD http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2631644 Reply #57 From OneAngryDemocrat (643 posts) Wed Nov-08-06 10:20 AM