Evangelical Haggard Claims He Was Molested By Republican Congressman

[meegbear]

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Evangelical leader Ted Haggard, who stepped down last week after confessing that he purchased methamphetamines and various services from a male prostitute, revealed Wednesday that he was repeatedly molested by an unnamed Republican congressman in the late 1990s. "We would communicate on the Internet and then meet in his Washington office to, I thought, discuss faith-based initiatives," said Haggard in a tearful admission in which he asked for the forgiveness of God and his congregation. "Before long, he had progressed from praying alongside me to having me sit on his lap at his desk, and then to touching me in my bathing-suit area. I trusted the congressman, and he violated that trust." Authorities have not acted on Haggard's allegations, saying that Republicans are often accused of wrongdoings simply because so many of them lead secret gay or criminal lifestyles.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55141

[PCIntern]

1. HAHA! The Onion, eh...

Let's see how fast this gets moved to the Lounge...

funny tho.

[pissedoffprogressive]

2. At least they didn't blame Clinton

[radfringe]

6. wait for it

Haggard's wife says she married Haggard because she was once molested by Clinton and this led her life as being attracted to gay men

[trumad]

3. Ya know...in the early days, the Onion would get me.

But being an experienced Onion reader, I can pretty much know going in it's Onion.

[meegbear]

4. Yep, but it's fun to catch the unexperienced with it

[ContraBass Black]

5. The headline almost had me.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

7. You almost had me

[ProdigalJunkMail]

8. I expected the article to open with

The scandal surrounding Foley and the GOP widened today as Ted Haggard came forward with allegations...

sP

[TAPat]

9. It realy had become "Onion World" with those

pukes running the show.

So much of the time I couldn't tell the difference between an AP story and the Onion!

[nuxvomica]

10. Hey! I just woke up!

If you're going to post something like this, be a little considerate and wait till at least the afternoon, Ok? I was thinking, Jeez this guy is regressing, with that "bathing-suit area" stuff and all. Then I'm thinking, I wonder who the congressman is. Yeah, you got me. You got me good. :rofl:

[JohnnyLib2]

11. Love it!

When I grow up and move from the Bible Belt, I wanna write for the Onion.

[JNelson6563]

12. "...bathing suit area" an especially good touch

Too funny. :rofl:

[Ioo]

13. How does a 50 Year old man get molested by another 50 year old man?

The Onion should know that it is not molestation at 50 it is rape!

EDIT: Misspelled Onion, it is pre-coffee

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

14. Damn ye, ya beat me to it! Love that Onion!