Submission by Invitation: "Me and MY Big Gay Lifestyle"

[TAPat]

Thanks to Baby Mouse for the inspiration and invitation! http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2686418

*I* am a 40 year old Homosexual woman:

My partner (we’ll call her DD - short for Doodle-Do) and I met when I was 22. Didn’t like her much – thought she was a big old yuppie blow hard. Yuk. Not my style at all. I was a techie stage rat at the community college during the summer and a film student in SF the rest of the year. She ended up getting together with my roommate and they were together for a few years.

FATE, that nasty beeatch, brought us together again and we’ve stayed that way since ’93 (I think – I’m horrible with dates – Maybe it was ’94 – Whatever…).

We’ve been around the block a couple of times together: sold her business and moved to Guatemala for a couple of years, came back to the states, had a kid (alternative insemination; birth mother, me), got stuck in Atlanta in damn near abject poverty for 5 years, moved to Southern Illinois after DD’s mom died. So here we are taking care of DD’s 92 year old dad and the huge house that will be ours when he passes.

DD does all the cleaning and laundry – I do all the shopping and cooking. She takes care of the yard work – I take care of the handy-gal work (everything is starting to go to shit with the house – no maintenance for years!). She takes care of the 3 dogs – I yell at them :). I take care of the 5 free-to-fly parakeets – She yells at them :)

We work together on our home-based business. We work together to raise our soon-to-be 7 year old daughter. We volunteer at the kid’s public school. We give, more generously than we should, at our newly-found and super-cool Unitarian ch.. ack… ch.. ack, ack… church (still have trouble spitting that C word out!) I’ve volunteered to cook the turkey and more for the Thanksgiving dinner there – DD will provide rides for those who have no transportation. DD’s republikkkan dad, otherwise known as Grandpa, will be attending and realize that we are not the only *decent liberals* in the world!

DD is smart as a MFn’ whip, driven, full of energy, is an insomniac, has a fabulously sarcastic sense of humor, and has the kind of energy you either love or love to hate. Obviously, I learned to love it…

I am thoughtfully intelligent, quasi-agoraphobic, crude, a PC potato, a reformed Pollyanna, controlling in sort of a passive/ aggressive way, and one HELL of a self-taught cook. But, most importantly, I’m a Mom.

Our daughter loves trees and horses. She is bright and has a great sense of humor. She’s diligent and kind, almost to a fault. Her teachers LOVE her.

We’re a family. We wake up every day and work, and play, and argue, and laugh, and bitch and moan. We’re as *normal* and *abnormal* as any other family.

And we’re happy - especially now with the future looking a whole hell of a lot brighter!

[Oceansaway]

1. TOUCHE !!..n/t

[mitchtv]

2. thanks tapat

from a 62 year old gay male and his 70 y/o partner of 30 years. just beginning to experience the trials of old age. I am doing a bit of taking care of grampa myself,good luck.

[Fridays Child]

3. Lovely.

:hug:

[Greyskye]

4. I love these!

Thanks for sharing!

[baby_mouse]

5. :D

...I like the sound of her.

How can you cope with all those pets?! We had 2 cats (one was got by a dog) and they were quite trouble enough...even only one little cat causes trouble, though they are supposedto be self-reliant.

This is the thing that gets me, this whole idea that homosexuals are somehow against families, we're exactly as family-orientated as everyone else! Why on earth WOULDN'T we be?

It sounds like you have a really good life... God bless X

:-)

[TAPat]

6. Thank you -

I'll tell you though that having a kid around will get you organized faster than you can say "What the hell were we thinking?!" :)

You two might actually like to give it a try - DD and I (separately) never thought about having kids - now we can't imagine our lives without her.

As for the animals... never a dull moment, my friend!

[baby_mouse]

8. I'd love to have a kid but...

... there are so many things in my life that I'd want to get more stable first. I'd want a better job, we'd need somewhere to PUT the kid, our respective houses are just about big enough for us and no more, etc. I know that it would be fine if we *didn't* do it, but somethimes I think it would be nice to have someone to pass what we love about living onto...

[TAPat]

13. That abject poverty I spoke of

hit about 3 months after Mini Me was born. Scary times - luckily she's to young to remember, although we made sure she never went without.

When we got pregnant we had the world by the tail - it's so trite, but the time, space, etc. will never be *perfect* or stay that way :(

It IS about the love - that's what makes it all work.

[baby_mouse]

14. I believe that.

Also, people say about the disorganisation thing: "You just change. You just realise that you have to do it and that's it."

Wuuuugh

My sister said that after her first kid the first thing she did was burst into tears when she got home when she realised she couldn't even go to the all-night garage to buy a chocolate bar!

[TAPat]

16. It's true -

EVERYTHING changes.

Simple is never again simple. DD & I haven't been out alone together for months.

But, with Grandpa it's sort of like having 2 little kids - at least we don't have to supervise his homework... We do, however, have to make sure he is dressed warmly enough to go play golf!

Life is good :)

[Ravenseye]

7. You're going to burn!

...that turkey if you're not carefull. Be sure to make sure it's moist. Nothing worse than a dry burnt turkey.

[TAPat]

10. Absolutely nothing worse for sure!

Well, now, with the amount of butter I use it's just impossible! :)

[Ravenseye]

12. Ever had a Deep Fried Turkey?

I never have, but heard they're the bomb, yo.

http://www.fabulousfoods.com/school/cstech/fryturkey.html

[TAPat]

15. Yes! They are the bomb!

And with a huge vat of boiling oil I would surely burn down the neighborhood!

Thanks for the link :)

[Rosemary2205]

9. LOL - "reformed pollyanna"

I gotta steal that but change it to "recovering pollyanna".

Perfectamundo.

[MuseRider]

11. Another wonderful story!

Thanks. Just like everyone else, gee go figure :shrug:.

Thanks and congrats on the daughter. I know a couple who I am friends with and they are looking to do the same. I can't wait to be able to goo with a baby again. They will make the two best moms in the world, their child will be lucky.

Thank you for sharing. :hug: to you and your family.

[LeftCoast]

17. Another lovely story!

Thanks for posting this!

:hi:

[TheBaldyMan]

18. So you and DD get a toaster each ?

:P

[TAPat]

19. No, actually we

use Grandpa's toaster.

It's nice though... ;)

[Tatiana]

20. Yep. I am *so* going gay! You all seem to be a lot more normal than the rest of us.

Hell, I couldn't even get my husband to do yard work OR fix anything around the house!