A joke about politics...

[SaveOurDemocracy]

Funny :evilgrin: ... yet, not so funny. :shrug:




The way it's always been, though ...

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.


"Now it's time to visit heaven."


So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced, and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"


The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

[Greyhound]

1. LOL! The classics never get old. n/t

[stop the bleeding]

2. !

:evilgrin:

[originalpckelly]

3. That's a great one...

:rofl:

[TlalocW]

4. My favorite Heaven joke

A man dies and goes to Heaven where he discovers entering the Pearly Gates isn't a one-person at a time operation any more. It's just not efficient. The various angels are going through the crowd outside the gates and grouping people into their various religious denominations. After this has been done, one of the angels speaks up, "Baptists! I need the Baptist group front and center." The Baptists crowd around the entrance and enter, several of them turning around to smirk at the other groups.

The man, who is Catholic, expects that his group will be called next if they're going alphabetical, but after 15 minutes, no group has been called. Finally after a half hour another angel tour guide speaks up, "Everyone else follow me for your tour of Heaven!"

The angel shows them all the wonders of Heaven, each sight more wondrous than the next. They pass through several large, ornate buildings holding various offices, living quarters, etc. for the citizens of Heaven. Eventually, they come to another building, and the tour guide stops them and says, "We're going to go through this building now, but I warn you: Do not make a sound! Do not even whisper! Walk on your tippy-toes so we don't call attention to ourselves." The building doesn't look any different from any of the others so the Catholic is confused, but he and the rest of the group do what they're told, and they walk through a building with many doors and hallways leading off the main passage but see no one (although they can hear people making noise). They pass through the building silently, and the tour continues without incident to the end at which point the angel asks for questions.

The Catholic raises his hand and asks, "What was that one building we had to be quiet in? Was that God's house?"

The angel smiles and says, "No. That's where we keep all the Baptists. It's easier for all of us if they believe they're the only ones up here."

TlalocW

[SaveOurDemocracy]

5. heheheh

LOLLLL :toast: Reminds me of one of the better bumper stickers I've seen ... 'God isn't spelled GOP'