Hilarious: Freepers Pissed At Marines Over Rejection Of Jesus Doll

[cali]

in their toys for tots program. I mean how tacky is a battery operated Jesus doll that spouts bible verses? (In all fairness, a couple of freepers do point this out).

In the pantheon of ridiculous/funny freeper threads, this one's a star!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1738506/posts

[Bassic]

1. ROFL

:rofl: That's pretty funny indeed :D Who'd they find to voice this plastic Jesus? Didn't he commit blasphemy :rofl:

[Jackpine Radical]

2. Oh, I don't care if it rains or freezes

Long's I got my singin' jeezus
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car...

[The Magistrate]

16. Goin' Ninety I'm Not Wary

'Cause I got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell"

[fasttense]

3. The ultimate in tacky gifts

Archie McPhee will have to start caring these dolls. They only have the Jesus action figures. I'll put them in my collection with the pink flamingos.

[Hobarticus]

4. Basically, the company couldn't sell 'em, and they can't give 'em away, either

So this toy must be a bad idea from the get-go, for 4,000 of 'em end up as a giveaway.

But the notion that this may be an inappropriate toy altogether, escapes them.

Dumbasses.

[ClintonTyree]

38. Where on earth did you find that personal ad in your sig-line?

:rofl: He's only done it once before so he's not guaranteeing anything. :rofl:

[Hobarticus]

40. Found it on another forum...

Too priceless to let slip away.

Bring your own weapons!

[ClintonTyree]

53. I guess......

I hope I don't live next door to that guy. Yikes!

[Hobarticus]

54. No sweat, he's NEVER home. n/t

[louis-t]

5. Ah, the ultimate "re-gift".

[zreosumgame]

65. and even worse then the dreaded Fruit Cake From Hell

that is passed around the family for decades...

[louis-t]

67. Haaaaa!

[Kire]

6. bad link

it goes to the browse page

besides, you're not supposed to post links to FR

[matcom]

11. we link to FR all the time

[cali]

12. I fixed it, Nanny

and please point me to a board rule stating that we cannot post links to Freeperville. If it is indeed a rule, it's one of the most flaunted rules here. And just out of curiosity, why does it offend you that I did so?

[Sweet Freedom]

25. Probably referring to this

From the DU rules:

Restrictions on Linking to Other Websites

Do not post messages that give publicity to websites that have little purpose other than to smear, disrupt, or complain about Democratic Underground. Currently there are only three websites that fall into this category. Their addresses are not listed here because we do not wish to give them publicity. They are easily identified by their bizarre obsession with Democratic Underground.

...Members are permitted to link to highly partisan conservative websites, provided that they are doing so in the proper context.

If you would like to know if a particular website is restricted, please contact an administrator.

[ClintonTyree]

41. There are exceptions to every rule.........

especially when it's just having a chuckle at the freepers' expense. That happens quite often though, huh? ;) They're one madcap and zany group! :rofl:

[Kire]

55. "having a chuckle at the freepers' expense"

is a way to give FR publicity

[Rosemary2205]

61. Freep does NOT exist SOLELY to belittle DU.

and I've never once seen a post linking to Freep be removed for the sole reason it linked Freep.

[Kire]

64. I have

I'd show you, but they've been deleted.

[movonne]

7. These religious nuts make religion a joke...

[flamingyouth]

8. This has been a rough week for them

The election, the crazy anthrax guy. Now the rejection of plastic talking Jesus to top it off.

[noonwitch]

9. Kids want remote-controlled cars, not this

Poor kids, at least. We all know middle-class parents who are lining up to buy the new Playstation for their tykes.

[damntexdem]

51. Yes, but televangelists want to have remote-controlled Jesuses.

The company should donate the dolls to Pat Robertson, not to the Marines. ;-)

[matcom]

10. Jesus With The Kung Fu Grip?

:rofl:

[JacksonWest]

15. Can he shoot his fists,

like those old godzilla toys?

Actually, I want robot Jesus. Robot Jesus could be a great religion for scientists. And robots. But not robot scientists, who don't really believe in robot Jesus, or understand irony.

[Renegade Six]

18. That is my new favorite quote. nt.

[JoDog]

42. From "Futurama"

"So do robot Jews not believe in robot Jesus?"

"We believe that he was a very well-made robot, but he was not the messiah."

[JacksonWest]

59. Awesome. N/T

[flowomo]

13. my favorite post from the FR discussion:

"WHAT kid wants a Jesus doll? "Mommy, Daddy, Can I get a Jesus Doll for Christmas...I hate GI Joe....he's a facist." Flame away...."

I could like that poster.

[skypilot]

32. The Flanders kids on The Simpsons.

Those are the only two who come to mind.

[codjh9]

14. The shit they think up is beyond belief. And have they ever heard of 'sacreligious'?

[Richard Steele]

17. Could "Battery-Powered Plastic Jesus" forgive all of my...

Battery-powered plastic SINS?

I think he's gonna need extra batteries....

[skypilot]

34. Battery-powered plastic sins.

OK, there's a joke in there somewhere about the origin of the band name "Steely Dan", your screen-name, and the idea of battery-powered plastic sins but I can't quite string it together at the moment.

[Richard Steele]

39. I'm just happy that I'm not the only DUer who knows about Steely Dan. nm

[madmusic]

68. Oh, yeah...

"Do It Again" is one the best songs ever.

[Minnesota_Lib]

19. If you throw a broken Jesus doll away, it comes back in 3 days. (OK, bad joke)

[NorthernSpy]

26. Bad liberal! Bad!

:spray:

:spank:

[ClintonTyree]

43. Makes you wonder what kind of accessories you can buy......

for the talking Jesus doll. Of course there would have to be the ever popular cross, crown of thorns, loaves, fishes and what not. And his signature accessory, the wading pond where talking Jesus walks upon the surface of the water.

The possibilities for this are unlimited. I think it was just bad marketing that gave talking Jesus a slow start this Christmas season. With better marketing this could be the "must have" toy of 2006.

[Duncan Grant]

56. LOL!

Take heart, there are at least two other DUers as sick as you! :hi: :spray:

[OregonDem]

62. Yes and if kid puts the doll in the toy box, so he doesn't lose it, he can find Jesus.

n/t

[waiting for hope]

20. Here's a link with a picture...

http://money.cnn.com/2005/04/12/news/midcaps/jesus_dolls/index.htm?cnn=yes

They went on sale in 2005 -

The company expects to sell about 50,000 of the Biblical dolls by the end of the year, with the Jesus doll -- not surprisingly -- expected to be the top seller. It hopes to also bring out an Esther doll by the end of the year and hopes to have other Biblical character dolls introduced in future years.

The line of Biblical dolls is known as Messengers of Faith.

The dolls will cost $24.99, although Livingston said there will be discounts for churches as well as free shipping for those who buy three or more of the dolls. They will have hand-sewn period clothing, with Jesus wearing sandals and veils for the Virgin Mary. They will also have movable limbs and hands that can grip objects.

While Socha is Catholic and has been active in giving time and money to church groups for years, Livingston is Jewish. He said it doesn't seem strange to him selling the Jesus doll, though.

"I have a very open mind and believe people can have their own beliefs and religion," he said.

Guess he was more worried about profits (loss column on a Balance Sheet - tax saver) over an individual right to have their own beliefs and religion.

[mikeytherat]

23. Look at that build and that hair and tell me that's NOT "Hockey Jesus"

:rofl:

mikey_the_rat

[waiting for hope]

27. They have "snicker" Man Boobs...

I'm giggling now....

[Richard Steele]

45. "Hockey Jesus" would allow for much warmer rinks. Good for attendance!

[PsychoDad]

31. Jesus and Moses are pretty buff.

They must work out at the gym a lot :silly:

Peace.

[ClintonTyree]

46. GI Joes with different heads.........

myself, I'm waiting for "Tickle Me Jesus" which I'll promptly sell on Ebay for........... $1 million! :party:

[Lilith Velkor]

60. So you can buy a Moses doll to tell you not to make graven images?

:spray:

That is so wrong! I love it!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[jobycom]

21. I bet they'd be upset if the Marines took Muhammad dolls.

Piece of shit traitorous murdering dumb fuck hypocrites that they are. Jesus's whole ministry was a repudiation of Freeper types.

(Yes, I know a Muhammad doll would be anathema to Muslims, but that's beside the point).

[Ringo84]

22. Idiots

Are nearly all Freeptards fundy Christians? It sure seems that way. It was good to see some Freetards actually show a glimmer of common sense ("the dolls are probably sacrilegious", "rude to give Jesus toys to a Jewish kid"). Most of them were too ignorant for words. Especially the ones whining about the "PC Police".

They say we're nuts and that we're stupid, but some of the most stupid stuff I've ever seen has come from FR. Not DU. And I'm not saying that as a DUer but as an observer of both websites.
Ringo

[jobycom]

28. They would have to be fundies

I mean, no objective analysis of the world could lead one to support Bush. Not even before he was elected, but I'll allow that the media misled people and many didn't see what he really was. But NOW? The only way you could still support that ideology is to be so completely "faith-driven" that you tuned out all reality and continued to cling dogmatically to what your god told you to believe (and by god, I'm not talking about the entity they CALL God).

I mean, the people telling them all this right wing stuff don't even believe it. They are truly being played for fools.

[ClintonTyree]

47. Made in China

that would scream right over there heads as well. :eyes:

[jobycom]

24. Jesus Christ, then there's this moran. THough maybe it's irony?

"Did Jesus say Kill the Jews and the Muslims and the Hindus and Buddhists???

NO..
He said *Love your neighbors as yourself* and forgive others 7x70. Maybe if he would of said Kill your neighbors if they don't agree with you and tell everyone to *Do thier own thing*, because It's your thing do what you want to do then he would of been embraced by the heathen society we live with daily..."

end quote

I mean... what the fuck do they think our bombs are doing over there? I just... Damn, my head hurts trying to understand their complete disconnect.

----

[Ganja Ninja]

29. Isn't that what you wanted for Xmas when you were a kid?

:sarcasm:
Good grief it sounds like something Ned Flanders would buy Rod & Tod for Xmas. I thought the whole point of the toys for tots program was to bring a little happiness to some unfortunate kids on Xmas. Leave it to right wing evangelicals to suck all the fun out of xmas and replace it with an overdose of dogma.

[johnnie]

30. So they want to boycott Toys for tots..LOL

What a bunch of whacked out freaks. I think the freepers should get another one of their hugh groups together and go protest in front of a Toys for Tots site. In fact they should go right to a Marine base and tell them to stick it up their ass. Of course they are always all talk and no action, so I don't see them getting out of mommy and daddy's basement anytime soon. (Unless it is to deliver a few more powdered letters).

[ClintonTyree]

33. They just don't get it......

To: Tulsa Ramjet
A Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the 1 foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season.

NO!!!! It's Christmas, not the "holiday season". Any idea who's birthday that is?????

Uh.....earth to idiot. It's NOT JESUS' BIRTHDAY! It has it's roots as a pagan holiday, actually. Since no one KNOWS when Jesus was born, if in fact the biblical Jesus ever WAS born, you're celebrating a completely arbitrary day with no historical significance whatsoever. :eyes:

Morons, all. :eyes:

[skypilot]

36. WRONG!!!

Everyone knows that Jesus was born on Dec. 25th, just as they know that God started creating the world on Jan.1st and finished on Jan.6th 0001.

[LibertyLover]

48. But, but - Bishop Usher says that the earth was created on the

nightfall preceding Sunday, October 23rd, 4004 B.C. :evilgrin:

[skypilot]

49. Would that make the earth...

...a Libra or a Scorpio?

[leesa]

74. Gotta be a scorpio, such a temper!

[Clark2008]

35. Freepers are so incredibly stupid.

They actually think Muslims have Mohammed dolls? :crazy:

Freepers, if you're reading, Muslims think it's sacrilegious to have dolls made up of one's deities.

As a matter of fact, Christianity preaches against this vapidity, too.

God, they're dumb.

[ClintonTyree]

50. The fact that religion is nothing more than a marketing ploy......

escapes them as well. I wonder, how much is spent every year on god based stuff? I'm talking everything from the sale of bibles and other books, tithing, the collection plates, talking Jesus, Jesus clocks, velvet Jesus paintings.......everything. Billions certainly, perhaps close to a trillion a a year? Would that be a fair estimate? :shrug:
There's a heap of money to be made reminding people of the myth, the man.......JESUS! :eyes:

[Judi Lynn]

37. Maybe they might like a miniature version of Judge Roy Moore's giant

TEN COMMANDMENTS dollie!

That'd be the ticket! It could tell you the commandments when you pulled its string, and raise you in the ways of "the Lord" at the same time!



"Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy!"

[LTR]

44. Toys for Tots will only take the "Tickle Me Jesus" doll

But they won't take the "Farting Jesus" doll.

[kcass1954]

52. This poster on MSNBC obviously learned spelling & grammar on FR....

"The first five letters in Christmas is Christ."

(post #45 on http://boards.msn.com/MSNBCboards/thread.aspx?ThreadID=124612&BoardsParam=Page%3D4)

[txindy]

57. He obviously never learned to count, did he? Beyond the fingers of one hand, anyway.

"The first five letters in Christmas is Christ."

:rofl:

[Initech]

58. This is actually the first sensible thing I've ever read on FR:

"WHAT kid wants a Jesus doll? "Mommy, Daddy, Can I get a Jesus Doll for Christmas...I hate GI Joe....he's a facist." Flame away...."

:popcorn:

[crim son]

63. I'm appalled.

Why do kids want dolls? To cuddle, to pretend to be a parent. I'm sorry, but when I was a child, and a Christian, I would have found the idea of cuddling with Jesus or playing with him in any way, repellent. And bullshit that "any child" can learn something from a Jesus doll that spouts bible verses. If I sent the thing to my nephew, who is Jewish, my sister would freak out. It's ridiculous to imagine that thousands of these dolls would be a welcome contribution, IMO.

[Rainscents]

71. These toys are going to oversea and Muslim and Jews don't celebrate

Jesus as their religion. Lot of oversea toys are given to kids wrapped. I am in 100% in agreement with Marines making correct decision.

[crim son]

72. Me too, of course.

But it is true that, if these toys are to be given out as Christmas gifts, then Jews and Muslims won't be receiving them. I am therefore assuming that they are to be used as "holiday" gifts. My comment was more of a frivolous one... I was thinking about being a child and wanting a doll to play with. The Jesus doll would have been a terrible disappointment!

[Supersedeas]

66. support the troops only when they support your tacky products??

[lynch03]

69. What does it say about the people on that forum..

when that very intellectual and important issue elicited over 150 replies OF SERIOUS DISCUSSION :rolleyes:

[maxrandb]

70. From Bob Dylan's

"It's Alright Ma'. I'm Only Bleeding"

"Disillusion words like bullets bark,
as human guns aim for their mark
Make everything from toy guns that spark,
to flesh colored Christ' that glow in the dark,
it's easy to see without looking to far
that not much is really sacred."

[Starlight]

73. They're trying to unload this unsold junk for the tax break because they couldn't sell them.

They're just po'd because they can't get anyone to take their garbage.