most urgent request, you help please we all ok (parody of nigerian scam, ala bush)

[The Straight Story]

Request for urgent business relationship

first, i must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and 'top secret'. I am sure and have confidence of your ability and reliability to prosecute a transaction of this great magnitude involving a pending transaction requiring maxiimum confidence.

Me and my Pa have discovered a great source of oil which we want to drill for, but our laws forbid the methods needed to embrace it. Your urgent help is needed to get the oil out, and we no money need as we can use the money of all our citizens.

Please do vote to save us all by helping our fine men and some women too go to this country and liberate itss people and oil from the evil which holds it back from the freedom we americans really like to enjoy and stuff.

All I need is you to help me by standing firm against the evil doers who do evil and hate us for not being haters like them.

To my friends in congress I ask you to help by giving me a lot of money. A whole lot. And in return I will be able to ensure you the funding needed for our mutual friends at several companies. We can make you rich and safe, if you will but spare some change.

Our money is held up due to laws, so we need help and you can assist in this endeavor. If you can say yes when asked to you, then all ok and we can proceed to help the liberation of the people and their burden of oil which makes them so sad.

As I sit again reading about my pet goat I am able to see now with clarity how we must act to save the people we so love. By sending them to die and kill. Freedom is a bomb - it blows away the bad and leaves only what we need behind. In killing so many, we are making them free - and their losses will save so many by allowing us to use the needed oil to transport medical supplies. The lives of a few thousand or more for the lives of hundreds of millions.

Wire me a yes vote, give me the way around laws I need to use our riches to tap into the much bigger riches. I know you can see this makes the sense, and you know I am a trusted man here in my house. Help me to help all our people by giving me money and power to use our weapons and people to liberate the downtrodden and save many lives.

Only through death can we find life. Only through war can we make good the things which we want to be good. Our lives mean more to the world, so we must sacrifice, as hard as it is to me, for the greater goodness of our flag and people who fly our flag.

I thank you for seeing clearly why you need this money, and how much I must personally sacrifice for the common good.

Stupidly as usual,
boosh

[tavalon]

1. Uh huh

I'm sure most of us have gotten a Nigerian scam letter or two. Good parody!

[pnorman]

2. I've gotten close to 400 Nigerian Scam letters,

in the past two years or so. I LIKE yours best, and I'll add it to my files.

pnorman

[The Straight Story]

3. Thanks, maybe we should send it around via email :)

Seriously though, I could have written it better but was very tired and the beer was flowing like Niagra falls from the tap ;)

[pnorman]

5. My own sleep-pattern has been REALLY screwn up this past week!

I imagine mine wan't the only one here on DU!

pnorman
PS: While writing this, the apt. maintenance man just delivered a package. He's an elderly man (almost as elderly as I am), and with no discernable political 'slant'. But his first words were (with a broad grin): "Well, what did you think of the elections?" My reply was: "We just stepped back from the edge of a cliff!". Again, he smiled broadly in return! One again, LIFE IS GOOD!

[ComerPerro]

4. Actually, BushCo's entire operation sounds like a Nigerian scam, doesn't it? LOL