HILLARY CLINTON SUPERSTAR: A Rock Opera as told by Carville Iscariot

[Leopolds Ghost]

My mind is clearer now, at last all too well I can see where we all soon will be.
If you strip away, the myth from the man, you will see where we all soon will be.

Carville!!!!

You've started to believe, these things they say of you. You really do believe, this talk of Dean is true!
And all the good you've done, will soon get swept away. You've begun to matter more than the things you say!

Listen Carville, I don't like what I see. All I ask is that you listen to me!
And please remember, I've been your right hand man all along...
Rahm has set them all on fire! You'd think they've found the new messiah.
And they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong.

I remember when this whole thing began, no talk of Dean then, we called you a man.
And remember, my admiration for you hasn't died...
But every word you utter when you're babblin'... gets twisted round by Mary Matalin!
And they'll hurt you if they think you've lied...

Listen Carville to the warning I give. Please remember that I want the Clinton legacy to live!
But it's sad to see our chances weakening every hour.
Oh, your followers are blind! Too much DLC cash on their mind!
It was beautiful, but now it's sour... yes, it's all gone sour!!!

-- PAUL BEGALA, "Hillary Clinton Superstar: A Rock Opera"

[hedda_foil]

1. OMG, This is completely BRILLIANT!

K&R!

[silverojo]

2. K & R

Weird Al Yankovic, eat your heart out! :rofl:

[WillyT]

3. LOL !!! - K & R !!!

:rofl::kick::rofl:

[autorank]

4. The Dean Avenger...Ballad of the Peoples Choice;) K&R

[roguenkatz]

5. JESUS CHRIST!

[Leopolds Ghost]

6. You Rang?

[bigtree]

7. I don't know how to love them (our Democrats)

I don't know how to love them
What to do, how to move them
I've been changed, yes really changed
In these past few days
When I've seen myself
I seem like someone else

I don't know how to take this
I don't see why James moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
And I've had so many
Men before
In very many ways
He's just one more

Should I bring him down
Should I scream and shout
Should I speak of love
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one
Who's always been
So calm so cool
No freeper's fool
Running every show
James scares me so

I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?

Yet
If James said he loved me
I'd be lost
I'd be frightened
I couldn't cope
Just couldn't cope
I'd turn my head
I'd back away
I wouldn't want to know
James scares me so
I want him so
I love him so


CROWD
Hosanna Heysanna Sanna Sanna Ho
Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna
Hey JC, JC won't you smile at me?
Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Superstar

CAIAPHAS
Tell the rabble to be quiet, we anticipate a riot.
This common crowd is much too loud.
Tell the mob who sing your song that they are fools and they are wrong.
They are a curse. They should disperse.

CROWD
Hosanna Heysanna Sanna Sanna Ho
Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna
Hey JC, JC you're alright by me.
Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Superstar


http://journals.democraticunderground.com/bigtree

[Leopolds Ghost]

8. dupe n/t

duplicate message

[Leopolds Ghost]

9. As Sung By Mary Matalin, Right?

"I Don't Know How To Love Him" :evilgrin:

MARY MATALIN:

Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh

Don't you know everything's alright yes, everything's fine
And we want you to sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without you tonight
Close your eyes, close your eyes and let Cheney observe us tonight.

Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you and anoint you,
nair for your bald forehead, oh

And it's cool and the ointment's sweet
For the fire in your head and feet
Don't you know everything's alright yes everything's alright yes

CARVILLE: (screaming)

Woman, that fine ointment! Brand new and expensive!
Could have been saved for the Dems!

Why has it been wasted, we could've raised maybe
6 million dollars and twenty more wins!

People who are starving, people who are cash-strapped
Matter... more... than your feet and hands!

MARY MATALIN:

Surely you're not saying we have the resources
To save the poor from their lot!?

There will be poor always, pathetically struggling,
Look at the Good Things We've Got!

Sleep while you still have me,
Mo-ove while you still see me...

You'll be lost, you'll be so, so, so-o-rry

When I'm GO-O--OOOONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHORUS OF DLC TALKING HEADS:
(Try not to get worried, try not to
turn on to problems that upset you
oh, don't you know everything's
alright yes everything's fine...
and we want you to sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without you tonight

If we try, we'll get by so forget all about us tonight
(Everything's alright yes everything's all right yes...)


CARVILLE: On Thursday night, you'll find Kerry where you want him... Far from the crowd... in the Elections Office of Cincinnati!

On Edit: Shouldn't Lieberman be Caiaphas? No.. Zell Miller!

[Unbowed]

10. Well done!

LOL!

[sweetheart]

11. "why do you hold on to.... "

...problems that upset you most,
then you know everything's allright yes, everything's fine,
its cool and the ointment's sweet,
close your eyes close your eyes close your eyes
everything's allright tonight..."

-- yezzuz kryst zupperztr

"Everything's all right
Yes everything's fine
And it's cool and the ointment's sweet
For the fire in your head and feet
Close your eyes
Close your eyes
And relax
Think of nothing tonight"

(on edit) - jesus christ superstar

[Jeffersons Ghost]

12. VERY GOOD GHOST BRO' and then there was TWO ghost songs CHECK IT OUT....

originally derived from This Jesus Must Die Lyrics

Federal Judge...
Good Dick Cheneycus
The high court waits for you
The Prosecutors and judges
Are here for you

Dick Cheneycus...
Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here
With not much time, and quite a problem here

Crowd Outside...
Whore's man of! Superstar!

Chimperor Bushicus...
Listen to that howling mob
Of blockheads in the street
A trick or two in Iraq
And the whole town's on its feet

All...
He is dangerous! He is dangerous!

Crowd...
Dick Cheneycus, Superstar
Give us your plea and approach the bar

Federal Judge...
He is dangerous, dangerous
That crook is in Iraq right now
To whip up some support
A rabble rousing mission
That I think we must abort
He is dangerous

Crowd...
Dick Cheneycus, Superstar

Federal Judge...
He is dangerous
Look Bushicus
They are right outside our yard
Quick Bushicus
Go call the Homeland guard

Bushicus...
No wait, um, uh, we need a more permanent solution to our problem.

KKKarl Rovecus...
What shall we do about Dr. Howard Dean?
Miracle worker, he's ruined our plan to rule

Federal Judge...
No riots, no rip-offs, no fighting, no slogans

Bushicus...
One thing to say for him, Dr. Dean is cool

Rovecus...
We dare not leave Chimp to his own devices
His half-witted fans will get out of control

Federal Judge...
But how can we stop him, his cash-flow increases
With every minute, he's top of the pole

Rovecus
I see bad things arising
The crowd may crown him King
Which High courts won't overlook
I see blood and destruction
Our elimination because of what he took
Blood and destruction
Because of what he took

Voices
What can we do about this Cheneymania?
How can we deal with the carpetbagger king?
Where do we start with a man drunk at the trigger
When Chimp was the Emp. did his illeagal thing?

Cheneycus
Fools! You have no perception
The stakes we are gambling
Are frighteningly high
We must crush Dean completely
So like John Kerry before him
This Dean-guy must fry
For the sake of Haliburton
This Dean-guy must fry
or my case they may tri
I'll get caught in a lie!

[Leopolds Ghost]

13. LOL! How about this: "When Chimp Was the Emp With his 911 thing."

:rofl:

[Leopolds Ghost]

14. OK, let me dig for inspiration here... BARACK'S DENIAL

MICHELLE MALKIN:

I think I've seen you somewhere.
I remember --
You were with that man. The traitor Kerry.
He was stumping in your race.

BARACK OBAMA:

You've got the wrong man, lady.
I don't know him --
And I wasn't where... he was tonight.
Never near the place.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:

That's strange,
for I am sure I saw you with with him!

You were right by his side,
and yet you denied..?

BARACK:

I tell you, I was never, ever with him!

JOE SCARBOROUGH:

But I saw you too.
He looked just like you...?

BARACK:

I don't know him!!!

HILLARY CLINTON:

Barack, don't you know what you have said...?
You've gone and cut him dead.

BARACK:

I had to do it, don't you see...?
Or else they'd go for me.

HILLARY CLINTON:

It's what they told us we would do...
I wonder how he knew.

[blm]

15. Someone was clearly inspired...

.

[Leopolds Ghost]

16. Al Gore in the GARDEN OF MADISON SQUARE

AL GORE:

I only want to say,
If there is a way,

Take this cup away from me For
I don't want to taste its poison.
Feel it burn me,
I have changed.
I'm not as sure, as when we started.

Then, I was inspired.
Now, I'm sad and tired.
Listen, surely I've exceeded expectations,
Tried for 6 years, seems like thirty, seems like thirty.
Could you ask as much from any other man?

But... if... I run,
See the saga through and do the things you ask of me,

Let them hate me, hit me, hurt me, insult me on TV,

I'd want to know, I'd want to know, My Dems,
I'd want to know, I'd want to know, My Dems.
Want to see, I'd want to see, My Dems,
Want to see, I'd want to see, My Dems,

Why... must... I... run?
Would I be more noticed than I ever was before?
Would the things I've said and done matter any more?

I'd have to know, I'd have to know, my Dems,
Have to know, I'd have to know, my Dems,
Have to see, I'd have to see, my Dems,
Have to see, I'd have to see, my Dems,

If I run, will it be just my whim?
If I run, will it be just my whim?

Have to know, I'd have to know, my Dems,
I'd have to know, I'd have to know, my Dems,

WHY...MUST...I...RUN? Oh why should I run!

Can you show me my election would not be once more in vain.

Show me just a little of Karl Rove's omnipresent brain.

Surely there's a reason for your wanting Russ and I.

You're far to keen and where and how, but not so hot on why.

Alright, I'll run!
Just watch me run!
See how I run!

(fanfare)

Then I was inspired....
Now, I'm sad and tired.
After all, I've tried for six years, seems like ninety.
Why then am I... scared to finish,
what I started,
What you started - I didn't start it.

Dems, thy will is mad,
But you hold... every chad.

I will drink... your cup of poison!
Nail me to your plank and break me,
Bleed me, beat me, Nominate me
Now,
Before I change my mind.

[Leopolds Ghost]

17. OK, another one: WHAT'S THE BUZZ

WHITE HOUSE STAFF
What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening?
What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening...

BILL CLINTON
Why should you want to know?
Don't you mind about the future?
Don't you try to think ahead?
Save tomorrow for tomorrow;
Think about today instead.

WHITE HOUSE STAFF
What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening?
What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening...

BILL CLINTON
I could give you facts and figures.
I could give you plans and forecasts.
Even tell you where I'm going.

WHITE HOUSE STAFF
When do we ride into Afghanistan?
When do we ride into Afghanistan...

BILL CLINTON
Why should you want to know?
Why are you obsessed with fighting
Times and fates you can't defy.
If you knew the path we're riding,
You'd understand it less than I.

WHITE HOUSE STAFF
What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening.

MONICA LEWINSKI
Let me try to cool down your face a bit,
Let me try to cool down your face a bit.

BILL CLINTON

That feels nice, so nice...

Ooo-ooh, lady, that is good-
While you prattle through your workday-
Where and when and who and how!
She alone has tried to give me
What I need right here and now!

WHITE HOUSE STAFF
(What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening)

JAMES CARVILLE
It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying,
That a man like you, can waste his time
With women - of her kind!

I can understand that she amuses
But to let her kiss you, stroke your hair
Is hardly in your line.

It's not that I object to her profession
But she doesn't fit in well
With what you speak and say.

It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent
They only need a small excuse
To put Al Gore away.

BILL CLINTON
Who are you, to criticise her,
Who are you, to despise her!

Leave her leave her, let her be now
Leave her leave her, she's with me now!

If your slate is clean, then you can throw stones
If not then leave her alone!