Jack Abramoff tortured cello nerds in High School.

[gordianot]

see link was originally on NPR: A memory, courtesy of Ira Glass's This American Life: http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/001014.php


Jonathan: I was a cello player. Every high school has the nerdy kid who brings his cello to class. And that would have been me.

Ira Glass: Every high school also has bullies, and there was one guy who picked on Jonathan. Jonathan remembers him as a gladhander, somebody with lots of friends. And also...

Jonathan: A jock -- he hung out in the weight room. He squatted something over 500 pounds when he was in high school.

Ira Glass: And you actually know the number?

Jonathan: I believe it was 510 pounds. A number that I remember almost thirty years later.

Ira Glass: Because everybody knew the number.

Jonathan: Because everybody knew this.

I remember him, but I would be very surprised if he remembered me. He was the sort of person who would walk across the street to be unpleasant to somebody.

Or in my most notable instance, I was walking down the hall to history class, and he hip-checked me, I was carrying my cello and went sailing down the stairs with my cello.

You’d be surprised how times a cello in this case can bounce. It was a lot of money in repairs. He was laughing about it to his friends. I suspect he forgot about it five minutes later. I didn’t.

Ira Glass: And so who was he? Who was this guy?

Jonathan: That guy was Jack Abramoff.

Hear the rest, including Jonathan's delight at Abramoff's downfall: "It’s just beautiful, it’s more than I could have wished for."

Thanks to TPMm Reader GR.

[longship]

1. Big lesson here: There's always room for cello.

:kick:

[gordianot]

3. Jack Abramoff in hell eternally chasing falling cello's.

[Kikosexy2]

8. One time at ...

band camp...I stuck a flute up Abramoff's ass and blew...

[Thegonagle]

5. Unless you drive a Honda Insight.

You could use a roof rack, but that would cost several MPG.

[eleny]

2. Thanks, I'm going to enjoy it

Recommended

[LanternWaste]

4. The difference between a cello and a viola?

The difference between a cello and a viola? Cello's take longer to burn....


(Bad me.... very bad me)

[David Dunham]

6. Abramoff will have a lot of time to weight lift in prison.

[tridim]

7. Don't Orthodox Jews have rules about treating people nicely?

I played violin and never really had any Abramoff types make fun of me. If they did I would have just told them to fuck off. Bullies are pushovers.

[Crunchy Frog]

9. So do Christians.

Doesn't seem to have much of an effect on alot of them though.

[immoderate]

10. Those rules only apply to members of your own tribe.

Jews in the old testament are encouraged by god to burn, pillage, and enslave outsiders.

To be fair though there is a Jewish ethic that develops later on that is the basis for the teachings of Jesus. But if people really followed that shit, there wouldn't be any preachers. And there is shortage of them.

--IMM

[txindy]

11. Ol' Jack now looks like he swallowed a cello whole.

Karma. :evilgrin:

[stepnw1f]

12. Jack Will Be Getting His in Prison Soon

Revenge for the Nerds.

[progressoid]

13. I'm shaking my head in disgust but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised

My guess is there a lot of similar stories about this crop of repubs.

[DarkTirade]

14. Oh boy... if that'd been me whose instrument he broke,

I would have returned the favor by breaking a few of his bones.