What's funny, what isn't, and why it's really not that important.

[lander]

Last March, my little brother sent me a card for my 26th birthday. "It's your birthday," it read, "you wanna see something funny?"

I found this to be a little bit strange, since my brother isn't the type to send cards. He usually calls, or sends me an e-mail — but never a card. And certainly not a card like this. However, against my better judgment, I opened it.

Inside, there was a mirror; I didn't think it was very funny. In fact, I found it to be sort of offensive! I don't think I'm funny-looking.

Pointless anecdote, don't you agree? After all, this isn't the kind of story I've been clamoring to tell, and it's not enlightening, happy, or particularly interesting. In fact, it's downright dull.

But it brings me to the point I'm trying to make: I didn't call my brother and chew him out for sending me a card I didn't think was funny. Actually, I don't think I called him at all. I put the card on the dining room table along with the others I'd received over the past few days, and I went about my life as if nothing had ever happened.

And that's pretty much what you'd do, right?

Apparently not. Earlier today, someone or other posted a top ten list that, for the most part, wasn't very funny. I mean, a few of the items were clever — and a few more made me roll my eyes and smile — but generally, it was only mediocre. In other words, not exactly David Letterman material (then again, he seems to revel in mediocrity sometimes).

Again, fairly pointless anecdote — except for the detail I've thus far failed to mention: the top ten list was ominously titled "Why Handguns are Better Then Women". Break out the Drudge sirens. People demanded that the post be deleted, and the poster banned. What's more, certain people demanded that I be banned — for commenting that I found the list to be mildly humorous!

So, yeah... I really enjoy DU. I like reading posts here, and I like posting here. Most of the people here are truly excellent, and the discussion is usually measured, sane, and intelligent. There are arguments and disagreements, of course — as there ought to be on any website with the word "Democratic" in its name — but, for the most part, this place is remarkably civil. I respect that.

Look, I don't claim to be an authority on what's funny and what's not. My brother clearly thought that the birthday card he sent me was a hoot; I didn't. I was amused by the top ten list, and others weren't — some people were even outraged. But I'm certainly not going to demand that my brother be arrested for sending me a card that I thought was a little over the top, and, by the same token, no one on DU ought to be demanding that someone be banned for thinking that something's funny.

It's really not that important. It was a joke. If you don't like it, don't read it!

[uppityperson]

1. welcome to DU

laughing at a (fill in the blank)ist joke will get some people complaining about you, but mods look at overall postings before banning unless a specific comment is highly outrageous. People find different things funny in different ways, people can be highly opinionated. That said, welcome to DU.

Edited to add, the alert button is for use when a rule is broken. That can be for varied things, including asking publically for someone to be banned. How you ask for banning, according to rules, is hit alert and send mods a message.

[lander]

2. Addendum, which I tried to send as a private message — but the person had already blocked me.

You know, I just listened to a segment on "All Things Considered" about new feminism. The correspondents sat in on a Womens Studies class at George Washington University, and interviewed some of the students afterwards; many of them said that they didn't want to call themselves "feminists" because of the "man-hating, no-leg-shaving" stereotypes that went along with the label — and only one of the fifty students in the class was an active member of NOW.

Look, I'm a guy — just to be sure — but I took a few Womens Studies classes in college, and, in all but one of them, I was the only male student. I've read Steinem and Friedan. I consider myself to be "enlightened," and, if you really want to know, a feminist. But that's just me! If you want to know why I think — forty years later — NOW is suffering from a membership slump, it's because men aren't being actively involved in advocating for equality. Evidence: I asked a couple of my male friends to take Womens Studies, and they LAUGHED at me!

But if I can't laugh at a post about "Why Handguns are Better Than Women" without being demonized and castigated, then THAT'S the problem — not the post. After all, most women I know recall, with some fondness, the chain e-mail about "Why Chocolate is Better Than Men".

I wish everyone would just lighten up! After all, it's humor. What I find funny (or unfunny) should not be a factor in judging the nature of my character — or anyone's, for that matter.

I've offended people on DU before, and I've always received messages afterwards saying "hey, don't take it personally — everyone has opinions." I'm not concerned about offending people — after all, if I second-guessed everything I said, I probably wouldn't say a word. But demanding that I be banned from DU?

Come. Freaking. On.

[QuestionAll...]

3. humour is generally tradegy, plus time...

it's the timing thing that sometimes is not so funny, usually.

yes, a bit not tuned into your OP topic, but I had to spew this nonetheless.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. "Pointless anecdote, don't you agree?" ... Yep,

The thread in question was locked for being sexist & misogynostic.
And this is a continuation of that locked thread.

[Bluebear]

5. 'It was a joke. If you don't like it, don't read it!'

Hi, lander, I didn't see the thread in question, but let me say this:

"If you don't like it, don't read it" would only kind of apply if you were reading something over and over again. It's not like turning off a program you don't like. You can't really avoid reading something offensive if you don't know it's coming.

A lot of people think it's a laugh riot making fun of all sorts of easy targets, then when they are called out on it, they come back with "Don't be so PC! It's only a joke! Lighten up!" When something hits a particularly sore spot, sometimes you just can't help commenting on someone being less than sensitive by posting it.

Anyhow, welcome to DU. May we all strive to keep things measured, sane, intelligent, and yes, funny. :)

[A-Schwarzenegger]

6. Here ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=2751974&mesg_id=2751974

[Bluebear]

8. Well.

Chauvinistic right wing gun issues aside, it's not amusing to me.

[ms liberty]

7. I understand exactly what you mean...

First I'll say for clarification that I'm a woman, and a feminist.

Some people have no problem trying to shut up those who don't toe their line, whether it's over a joke, or a difference of opinion on another subject. You should have been here when the Duke lacrosse alleged rape case was new and hot in the news. Anyone who suggested the evidence was contradictory or that the young men should be considered innocent until proven guilty was automatically branded as a pro-rape traitor and flamed accordingly. It got downright nasty.

But as you'll learn, that happens sometimes around here. People who should know better can't see past their own blind spots. You just have to ignore them when they get unreasonable. There are some subjects I don't post about because of it, and sometimes I'll avoid threads because of the negativity and the hypocrisy factor. It's one of the very few downsides to DU. The really strange thing is when you see a post you totally agree with, and it's from someone who went off the deep end over something you think is stupid.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

9. I'm going to lock this.

Do not start a new topic in order to continue a flame war from another discussion thread.

best,
wakemeupwhenitsover
DU Moderator