Is it wrong to trick someone into outing him/herself through false scenarios?

[ecstatic]

I am hoping to gain insight on this matter. My friend and I are in disagreement on the issue:

Is it wrong to trick a person into outing him/herself by rigging a situation--for example:

Pretending to be someone of the same sex online and coming on to the person to see how s/he responds.

What do you think? In what situations would tricking someone like that be OK?

[William769]

1. Well we all know stupidity abounds on the Internet.

Anyone who plays games like this for no reason is just a sick puppy.

[Vorta]

4. I assumed a known-hazard scenario

If you are cruising chat rooms, then you are gambling with your 'privacy'. I mean really, have you seen the pictures and profiles people post online?

[William769]

5. The only chat rooms I ever associate with

Is at a pay site I belong to. You shouldn't have to gamble with your privacy, thats why I say they are sick puppies.

[Vorta]

2. What is the goal?

Do you simply want to know? Or do you plan to use this against him in some way? If you plan to use the information, what would be your criteria for doing this?

I have no problem screwing with someone just to find out. That's why I occasionally peruse craigslist personals, just to see if there is anyone I know.

[ecstatic]

6. To find out if the guy she's dating is also into men

Craigslist is funny lol

[blogslut]

8. Have you factored karma

into your little game?

[Vorta]

11. The pursuit of truth is noble. eom

[blogslut]

13. spare me

WHAT is Truth? said jesting Pilate; and would not stay for an answer.

[troubleinwinter]

10. What business is it of yours?

[Vorta]

12. Well, strike a match and flame me, but I think it's her business.

[ecstatic]

14. I was asked to help create the sting operation

I don't know if you are aware of it, but on Oprah, this guy named JL King came out with this "DL" concept that has a lot of women (at least around these parts) very paranoid.

[Vorta]

15. Tell me more, please.

His DL concept?

I am tipping on my chair to find out what this is. I am betting some "straight" guy has just told on a bunch of "discrete" guys. Am I right?

[ecstatic]

20. Exactly right! There's even a Wikipedia entry on it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_low

And of course, a link to the unforgettable episode of Oprah: http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200404/tows_past_20040416_c.jhtml

This phenomenon has many women scared shitless. JL King made it seem as though 99% of men are on the downlow and bragged about his sexual encounters with church pastors and married men.

[Vorta]

23. There sure is a lot of it around here.

That's personal experience, the craigslist evidence is on top. Frankly, I don't think you can go by craigslist and online cruising though. Some people have some screwed up fantasies and others are quite willing to play along. I have a friend who cruises constantly (to the point of annoying me) and he's in character the whole time.

[troubleinwinter]

24. How odd.

She evidently does not know or trust this man enough to expect that he believes in fidelity.

It matters if he sees men rather than women? How so?

She clearly has no trust in him. Why is she with him at all if she has questions of his being 'faithful'?

I don't 'get' why DL matters, vs. seeing other women. Are you checking boards to see if he is picking up women? Or is there only the DL concern?

[troubleinwinter]

26. "I was asked to help create the sting operation"

Were this my 'friend', I'd tell her to dump him if she feels she cannot not trust him (whether men or women), and I'd find different friends.

[demnan]

3. This would only be acceptable in the case

that the person is suspected of pedophilia, blackmail, kidnapping or other felony. I don't think it is right otherwise.

[whoneedstickets]

22. Or is a Hypocrite repug....

All's fair in love and war, and war on love.

[Ian David]

7. Is the person a hypocrite and a public figure in a position of power?

For example, are they an anti-gay politician or anti-gay activist soliciting gay sex?

Unless they're a danger to other people, then leave them alone.

[shanti]

9. borat?

is that what this question is about?

[ecstatic]

21. I definitely see parallels! nt

[Lex]

16. Only a person with absolutely no life would do something like that.

How old are these people anyway?

[Cleita]

17. I'm against most sting type operations out of principle.

Also, what you describe I believe is illegal in many places.

[warrens]

18. Sure. If he's an anti-gay crusader

And you get into hot and heavy IMs by pretending to be a 13-year-old boy, you bet it's OK. It's the repressed, self-hating, deeply closeted gays who make life miserable for normal gay people. Fuck em.

[crispini]

19. Ok, wait, you're saying that this female person thinks that....

a guy she is dating is also into men? I would agree that she has a right to know, most especially if she is sleeping with him, and he is also slpeeing with other guys. BUT, I think this is kind of a juvenile way to go about it. Has she tried just ASKING him?

[troubleinwinter]

25. Huh?

If he's sleeping with other guys, it matters more than if he's sleeping with other women?

She doesn't trust him and she should get lost/lose him.

[madmusic]

27. Why not trick the trickster?

Or spy on the spies. Or if someone is fishing for dirt, why not throw some in their face?

As already mentioned, what is wrong with a conversation to work out any bugs? Anyone unwilling to do that sure as hell isn't a friend, let alone a lover.

We live in a 1984 world and just might have to get used to it.

[-..__...]

28. I'll bet Borat could pull that off.

"I have very large khram". "Would you like to touch?" "I do not mind".