No more Mr. Nice Guy. I've stepped up our "War on Christmas."

[Cyrano]

My two previous posts over the past couple of weeks have ensured me that I'm not alone. Many DUers have joined the battle. There's light at the end of the tunnel. We've turned the corner. The enemy is on the run. We will soon proclaim "Mission Accomplished."

But enough big picture stuff. Let's get down to the nitty grittys. We think we have the real Santa (as opposed to all the dept. store guys) and he's been rendered to an undisclosed location. The reindeer have all been fed a large supply of laxatives which (hopefully) will keep them in the outhouse until January. (Rudolf's red nose has been painted grey.)

Hallmark is on notice that if they print any Merry Christmas cards, George Soros will buy them out and turn them into a recycling plant for uneaten fruit cakes.

Much more is being planned to ensure victory in our ultimate goal of destroying Christmas. There's no need to tell anyone here that our aim is to cause O'Reilly, Robertson, et al to lose their minds and run amok through the streets shrieking "The barbarian heathens have won." I hope you're all doing your part to ensure final victory.

(Our R&D dept. is currently developing a crusade against Easter. More to come on this.)

[Mojambo]

1. Watch out for that Elf insurgency. n/t

[Cyrano]

3. No problem. As I mentioned in a previous post, the specialt dish this

year is elf pot pie. (Tastes like chicken.)

[sal paradise]

2. I'm burning a christmas tree right now

next, putting up Kwanza candles

[Cyrano]

4. Hi, Sal. Welcome to Du. But one Christmas tree won't make a dent.

We need to get at the seed factory from which these shrubs of evil are spawned.

[Bark Bark Bark]

5. I'm Crucifying Christmas Trees!

...UPSIDE DOWN!

AVE DASANI!

[Cyrano]

Brilliant. St. Peter would be proud of you.

[EFerrari]

6. I checked and it's almost impossible to get a flight out of SFO.

Our agents are ready to deploy all over the country.

SAN FRANCSICO VALUES, check!

[Cyrano]

9. Great. But, remember. Don't let them try to take any eggnog on board.

[Parche]

7. mission accomplished

Are we going to fly on the roof with our Jesus suits, with a sign on the chimney
announcing "Mission accomplished"

[Cyrano]

10. Okay, but everyone has to bring their own signs.

[Ilsa]

8. Send me a couple of those fruitcakes. But you can keep

your fucking reindeer!

[Cyrano]

11. We're planning a venison barbecue for New Year's eve.

[Ilsa]

17. I stopped eating meat a few years ago, but used to eat venison

when my dad was able to hunt. Hunting in Texas has practically turned into a rich man's (or woman's) hobby now, because we generally don't have public lands that are available for hunts unless there is an overpopulation problem. It makes me sad, because my dad, and my brother would have, always brought home the kill for us to eat or he gave it to a more needy family. There wasn't any waste.

[Saboburns]

12. I propose the Salvation Army become the central front in WOC.

I sat we rout the Salvation Army and run them out of America, force them across the Canadian and Mexican borders.

They're mainly old fuckers anyways and 'it'll only be a matter of weeks, not months'.

Once holed up in Toronto, we can fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here.

[Cyrano]

14. Nah, they're just well-meaning bystanders caught up in the "War" that's

been declared by the thugs. Most of them are sincere people who tend to steer clear of politics.

Many moons ago when I was a grunt, I spent an evening in a Salvation Army food kitchen. You can't blame them for the excesses of the political head cases that are trying to pin a "War on Christmas" on us. For the most part, they are decent people who
are trying to do some good.

[Jim Warren]

13. Yeesus Rrice make way for Rrinking mahn

As my grandfather, a hard drinking socialist from Finland used to say.

Ask yourself, where do reindeer come from? And if you say Finland, you are not wrong. It is also the land of the Kalevala and Vainamoinen. The pagan story of Santa goes like this:

Santa was a grand shaman, a worker of big magic. Who else has reindeer and sleigh that FLY?
He wore not red, for that was a much later marketing invention of Coca Cola, but inverted sheepskins that were open in the loin area. He was a trickster, rather a Pan type character, earthy, horny and mischievous as hell. He knew who was apt to be naughty and he sought those out for he had something special in mind for them, if you know what I mean. (the whole gifts for the nice was also a latter marketing ploy, brought in by the xians)
The celebration was the marking of the end of the year, blessing of the harvest and the astronomical event of solstice.

[Cyrano]

15. Great info. Right now, I've got to get back to my lab. We're working

on evidence that proves the three wise men were Al Qaida activists. (The camels were rented.)

Back at you all later.

[RC]

16. Happy Holidays

Unless someone gets upset at me for beating them out of a parking spot close to the door, then it's "Merry Christmas" :evilgrin: