Xmas Wars: How to respond to those who wish me a "Merry Xmas"?

[Generic Other]

Here's a few responses I have considered:

clerk: Merry Christmas <syrupy sweet>

me: Do I look like a Christian? <evil eye>

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clerk: Merry Christmas <syrupy sweet>

me: Are you gay?

clerk: What? Whatever makes you think so?

me: The same assumptions you make in thinking I'm a Christian. You look it.


********************************************

clerk: Merry Christmas <syrupy sweet>

me: And a Happy Solstice to you! <cheerily>


*********************************************

clerk: Merry Christmas <syrupy sweet>

me: Merry Capitalism and a Happy Shoplifting Season to you too! <bright and perky>

*********************************************

clerk: Merry Christmas <syrupy sweet>

me: I am homeless and I have no where to sleep. Can I sleep in your crib on Christmas Eve?

**********************************************


Anyone else care to add to the ammo dump? Warriors to the frontlines!

edited to add:

:sarcasm:

[PsychoDad]

1. I wish them...

A blessed Yule...
or
A Happy Kawanza...
or
A Happy Channakha...

Peace.

:)

[Generic Other]

7. The Xmas terrorists win if we respond with peace and goodwill

We must remind them we are not invisible.

[A Simple Game]

74. I have been known to respond with Bah Humbug.

Probably about half of the clerks give me a "I know what you mean."

This is usually on very busy days.

[Tesha]

78. Also...

"Salam Alechem"

"Happy Solstice"

"And you enjoy the turn of the year too!"

"And have a wild Saturnalia!"

"And 'Happy Seasonally-Appropriate Holiday' to you, too!"

Tesha

[yurbud]

2. are you really offended by someone saying "Merry Christmas"? You must have a pretty good life

I'm not religious, but that person saying "Merry Christmas" is just sharing a cheerful greeting. I'd say "Merry Christmas" or "you too" back.

[elocs]

3. Simple: get over it. There are bigger and more important battles to fight.

You may be ready to jump on a clerk who is just doing their job. Ever see a little not on the cash register instructing the clerk to "smile". It doesn't instruct them to smile if they feel like it. Life is too short to get bent out of shape by such diddley squat things. No clerk is deliberately intending to offend anyone, so just be big about it and get on with your life. If this is what truly bothers you in your life, then you are already blessed. There's no reason to seek out things to get pissed about.

[yurbud]

8. I wonder if this isn't satire or a troll who actually believes O'Reilly's "War on Christmas" stuff

thinking people will jump at the chance to bash Christmas.

[Generic Other]

15. Satire not a troll

I need to edit the post I guess.

[yurbud]

68. close enough that I suspected at least but jethros at FR could point at it and say,

'See, them godless libruls reely do hate Christmas."

[elocs]

31. You never really know. n/t

[The Straight Story]

4. "merry christmas", "I'm not allowed to marry, I am gay" (nt)

[Generic Other]

9. That one I like too

:thumbsup:

[ComerPerro]

72. Best. Reply. Ever.

[shadowknows69]

5. I may use any or all of those this season

with your permission.

[Generic Other]

13. I like the last one best

The one where I plan to bring the pregnant wife to someone's crib on Xmas Eve.

:rofl:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. Even if I didn't believe in Christmas...

I believe the best response would be:

Thank you...

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

Life is short but there is always time for courtesy.

:hi:

[yurbud]

12. exactly.

[shadowknows69]

18. Ignorance should not be rewarded with courtesy

Yes, I am a pagan, Christmas insurgent.

[Ravy]

29. Courtesy is not a reward. It is an act of civility. nt

[LWolf]

73. You said it. n/t

[no_hypocrisy]

10. Maybe an affable (if not equitable) "Which holiday do you celebrate?"

and then make appropriate salutation. At least, you asked them . . .

[lumberjack_jeff]

11. "Thanks! You too."

Pretty much the same response I give someone who wishes me a happy Hanukka, Cinco De Mayo or Boxing Day.

[LittleClarkie]

32. Works for me

Never understood getting freaked out.

[Catchawave]

82. Me too

The spirit of the season (no matter who's God owns it) should be "goodwill towards men" above all, well, since we don't have Peace on Earth right now.

[sakabatou]

14. and a Savvy Saturnalia

[Generic Other]

21. That's a tongue twister

Sakabatou sends savvy saturnalia sentiments in the solstice season!

[Sherman A1]

16. My greeting for the Winter is

"Happy Rock Salt" and for the Summer "Happy Charcoal".

[Marie26]

17. Is this a joke?

Are you truly offended when someone says "Merry Christmas"? I thought that was a right-wing creation!

ETA: Ah, thank you for the :sarcasm: for the humor-challenged.

[Generic Other]

23. Well, I am offended that they are purposely ordering clerks to say it

and exclude all others in THEIR holiday.

I am spending my money and I will not spend it where people don't respect my right to be included.

[Marie26]

33. So it was serious, then.

I just cannot work up the effort to care if someone says "merry christmas" instead of "happy solstice," or whatever. Christmas is celebrated by the majority of Americans, so retail efforts will be catered to that. There are thousands of religions - Jewish, or Muslim, pagan, etc. & I don't see how retailers could be expected to mention & cater to all of them. "Happy Christmas and/or Hanukkah and/or Kwanzaa and/or Solstice and/or..." The important thing is, the person offered a courteous greeting & should get a courteous response in return. What a silly thing to get upset about. If you don't want to shop there, don't shop, but offering snarky replies to a minimum-wage worker is kind of lame.

[Generic Other]

43. Are you saying I don't have right to choose where to spend my money and why?

Stores in my area have ordered managers to replace "Happy Holiday" signs with "Merry Xmas," to change holiday names from "Winter Festival of Lights" to "Christmas Light Festival." Clerks are being ordered to say it "right."

I didn't really care what they called it until they started attacking holiday traditions in my town and getting newspaper coverage for their sanctimonious deeds.

[Marie26]

47. Exactly the opposite

If you read my post, I said, "if you don't want to shop there, don't shop there." We've got a perfect right to boycott a business if we don't like their practices. I object to being rude to salespeople who have no choice over what they can say, though I'm not sure if that was serious or not. The post sounds just like the Freeper who called O'Reilly, all proud that he didn't leave a waitress a tip because she said "Happy Holidays." People are just extremely rude & uncivil to each other anymore.

[Generic Other]

52. I won't go shopping until January because I find the holiday thing tiresome

So I am really not going to harass any clerks other than the grocer who already knows what an asshole I am.

I object to a commercialized holy day where mindless consumerism and pointless debt is the highpoint of the experience.

I will not respond to "Merry Christmas" because it would be hypocritical of me.

[onenote]

75. :"what an asshole I am"

You said it. No disagreement here.

[Minnesota_Lib]

19. Do you sale live poultry? My sect wants to find an alternative to human sacrifice this year.

[Generic Other]

25. ROFL

Even the most harried clerk would laugh at that one!!

[mainer]

20. Responses like those give atheists a bad name

If you said "happy solstice" to a Christian and he snapped "do I look like a damn pagan?" back at you, you'd think he was a jerk.

So it's not nice to do it back to a Christian, either.

[Generic Other]

27. Stores in my area are ordering clerks to say it and posting signs

They are to replace Happy Holiday greetings. I read that Norman OK cancelled their Winter Festival because people got mad it wasn't called Christmas Festival. Music teachers across the country are being told their Winter concerts MUST be Christmas concerts.

I am not the one who is giving people's religions a bad name. Just because I don't profess a religion doesn't mean I don't have beliefs.

[wryter2000]

39. A suggestion

If you're really upset about it, why not talk to the manager? What's the poor clerk supposed to do?

[Gormy Cuss]

56. Exactly. The clerk is not setting policy for the store.

The manager is paid to hear customer feedback.
As for the response to the clerk, saying nothing at all is better than being a smart alec.

[Greyhound]

51. An atheist would be invoking any deities, now would they.

Get over yourself already.

[Poiuyt]

22. Happy Festivus!

[Marie26]

36. The holiday for the rest of us! nt

[Ian David]

24. Hitler celebrated Christmas

Do we really want to celebrate the same holiday that Hitler did?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=214&topic_id=97928&mesg_id=97928

[Generic Other]

30. Ouch, I'll save that one for particularly obnoxious folks

I've already alienated half the responders on this thread. Someone will probably alert on me soon.

[wryter2000]

38. Hitler probably used soap, too.

I'm still going to continue to use it.

[Ian David]

88. Yes, but he only used soap on one testicle.

If you wash BOTH testicles, then you make Baby Hitler cry.

[wryter2000]

90. LOL

We wouldn't want to make Der Fuhrer cry, would we? :rofl:

[johnfunk]

92. But that was only because he was a vegetarian!

:sarcasm:

[onenote]

76. stupidest post in a stupid thread

Congrats!!

[Rosco T.]

26. Bah, Humbug!

but then, I hate this time of year.

[Generic Other]

34. My dad always used to say that and worse

When I was 5, he told me Santa committed suicide. When my mom took me to have my picture taken at JC Penney's, I screamed bloody murder. She dragged me away screaming, "He's not the real Santa...he's not the real Santa..."

My mom was really mad at my dad.

[pooja]

28. Bah Hum Bugs

Thank them and move on. Let the spirit of joy fill your heart. Don't be a scrooge... go with the feeling receive and give... don't give the salesperson a hard time and ruin the spirit... let it pass as a chorus from one person to the other... I wish it was so all year long... forget the Presents, revel in the Joy, the Love, pass the Peace on please and be kind.

[wryter2000]

35. In the satirical spirit of the OP

"Merry Newtonmas." Sir Isaac Newton was born on 12/25.

[Generic Other]

37. Is that why we eat Figgy Newton pudding?

I had an Uncle Newt. His name was Newton Isaac. So Newton Day it is! :)

[wryter2000]

40. That must be it.

Mmmmm. Figgy Newton pudding.

[Karmageddon]

66. I like it. Buffettmas works too.

Jimmy B. was also born on 12/25.

Or you could do like I do and just say "Happy Holidays" which is still courteous, and allows them to pick which holiday they choose to have a happy one of, and sends a subtle message without being a prick to the poor (probably overworked, underpaid) clerks who are just trying to put food on their families.

[Tess49]

41. Frankly, I say "Merry Christmas to you, too." So there.

[Rageneau]

49. Me, too. I see no benefit in picking unnecessary fights.

[chaska]

42. Happy Solstice.

[acmavm]

44. How mature.

[Betsy Ross]

45. While many of the suggested responses were funny...

I'm afraid I'll stick with Happy Holidays. I don't want to offend anyone with my greetings but will not make any assumptions on which holiday, if any, someone might be celebrating. As a non-Christian, I cringe a little inside when somebody wishes me a Merry Christmas. I did grow up in the era of Christmas carols were taught in schools. Back then they pisses me off. I'm all for a holiday or a season when people might consider being nicer to others.

[Greyhound]

46. Happy Yule and a blessed Twelfth Night to you.

:party:

[Cleita]

48. How about a civil, "Happy Holidays to you too", with

a nice sincere smile. There is no reason to be rude when someone is only trying to be pleasant, because it's their job, and uses the wrong choice of words with you. Unless you wear a sign on you that says, "Don't wish me a Merry Xmas", you can't expect them to read your mind.

[Generic Other]

69. "Don't wish me a Merry Christmas"

and I won't curse your firstborn..." Hmmm....thanks for the suggestion. :)

[etherealtruth]

50. when anyone wishes me well (read a happy, merry ...

... peaceful, blessed, nice ... ) anything I tend to thank them. Whether a persons "wishes for me" are part of my belief system, or not, I tend to like to believe that they are wishing me their best. That's OK with me.

[Generic Other]

54. So you think the ubiquitous phrase "Have a nice day" is sincere?

I don't. And yes, I always say "You too."

BUT, that is not the same as saying to me "Have a Merry (day celebrating the lives of hypocrites giving lip service to beliefs they don't demonstrate in their daily lives) Christmas."

[etherealtruth]

63. Said with a warm smile ...

I sure do.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

53. I say Happy Holidays

and leave it go at that. The greeting is either sincere or meaningless. To reply is just being polite in either case with a phrase I don't find objectionable.

[Generic Other]

91. It is polite to be "sincere or meaningless"

This is why I rarely speak to other people in real life.

[dubykc]

55. Christmas has become so secular and commercialized, how can...

anyone truly consider it a religious holiday anymore?

[eleny]

57. Have a Cool Yule!

[rug]

58. You could explain how offended you are or simply say thank you.

[elehhhhna]

59. Just nod absently and say "Inshallah." Try it! It's fun!

[NMDemDist2]

79. ROFL that one is GREAT

:rofl:

[skygazer]

60. Oh, what good ideas!

Dump on a hapless clerk who needs his or her job to pay their bills and keep a roof over their heads. As if we retail workers don't have to put up with enough bullshit.

What do I say? Though I'm not a christian and don't celebrate the holiday? "Thanks, you too."

Being polite costs nothing.

[Pyrzqxgl]

61. God rest ye merry merchants, may you make the Yuletide pay

Angels we have heard on high, tell us to go out and buy -from an old Tom Lehrer record

[robertpaulsen]

62. I am extremely offended that you edited your post to add a sarcasm tag!

Don't you know how series our Christian enemies take this war?! We must yooz are godless heedonism to fight them with equal seriesness! When sum fundamentalist clerk wishes you an (ugh!) Mary Christmas, you must shout, "Hail Darwin, Marx and Neetchee!";)

[dorkulon]

64. Go with a classic: "Bah Humbug." nt

[Retrograde]

65. "Thank you, and a happy

Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Saturnalia/Yule/New Year/Solstice/Birthday/your_favorite_holiday to you"

Christman has been secularized for so long that I gloss over it. People wishing me Happy Easter, on the other hand, get my goat (or should I say Paschal lamb?) This is purely a religious holiday* - the most important in the Christian calendar at that - and while I don't observe it for some reason it annoys me to see it commercialized.

*pre-emptive reply to those who claim the word recalls the Germanic goddess Eostere - yes, but that's an Anglocentric view. The other European languages use a religious name for the day.

[Generic Other]

70. What a mouthful! That would hold up the line wouldn't it?

And someone would't get their xbox in time for xmas.

[Retrograde]

84. Or just Happy Birthday to you too!

I was thinking along the lines of choose one, but the whole litany would be effective!

What other holidays are celebrated around the end of the year? I know there's a Japanese one, but I can't recall the name.

[qwlauren35]

67. My preference is

Happy Solstice.

Or just Happy Channukah.

If 80% of the American population is Christian, then I don't see how saying "Merry Christmas" so surprising; you're correct 4 out of 5 times.

In light of the war in Iraq, the lack of US health care, and the myriad of other issues that face us as a world, is one human being making an erroneous assummption about your religion such an awful thing?

Please come up with a very low-energy solution...

[ComerPerro]

71. LOL.

[seabeyond]

77. thank you ,.... and happy holidays, to you too

simple

[Democrats_win]

80. Merry Christians should go to Iraq.

[Zomby Woof]

81. I say "Thank you, you too!"

I am atheist, not an asshole. There is enough incivility and insolence going around these days, and I refuse to add any to the mix.

Christmas transcends christianity. Its pagan roots are so obvious to me, that I revel in them.

But the bottom line, when someone is polite and well-meaning, I will not piss on their kindness.

[Generic Other]

83. I also will hold my tongue but my thoughts are still free

and I will not be able to suppress those for the sake of civility, but I won't voice them aloud. Not even on DU where I thought I was safe to do so. I guess I'm not. You are the second person to call me an asshole on this thread. Thanks.

I also agree kindness doesn't not deserve rudeness in response, but I do think when insincerity and corporate control is so apparent and no one ever challenges it, we end up with BushCo, wars of aggression in foreign countries, Walmartization of America and other rightwing ideas I abhor.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

85. I like the "happy solstice" reply.

:rofl::rofl:

[Warren DeMontague]

86. "and a Jerry Christmas to you, too!"

[earth mom]

87. My reply is a simple "And Happy Holidays to you".

It's polite but gets the message across that they have crossed the line.

[MisterP]

89. "Oh, I celebrate Christmas on Jan. 7: that's a Christmas too, y'know"

[lynne]

93. THANK YOU would be one good reply -

- given that the person was merely wishing you goodwill. I think that we need to encourage MORE wishes of goodwill - not discourage or belittle it. The reason - the season - and the method means nothing - it is the intent that is important.