Question: Do the kids who play by the rules have any rights in school?

[Fridays Child]

Scenario: a junior high school kid was kicked out of school. His "girlfriend" told her friends that he was taken out because he brought a gun to school and he was caught because his friend, who had been plotting with him to use the gun at school, chickened out and told the principal. Now, according to his girlfriend, he was arraigned in juvenile court, last week, and, in addition to the gun charge, he was also charged with threatening a teacher. But, in spite of all this, he's being re-admitted to school this coming Monday.

I don't have any way of knowing how much of the above is accurate but it's an established fact that the kid in question has a history of behavior problems, including a recent "turf" confrontation on the bus that involved my child. It's also a fact that the kid has been out of school since the day before his girlfriend first related the information about the gun to her friends. And, for what it's worth, the girlfriend does not have a history of making things up or even getting into trouble.

In my opinion, if the story is accurate, that kid should not be permitted to return to school. He has proven that he's a danger to others and there's no evidence to suggest that he's changed his ways for the better. But the problem is that, because he's a juvenile, I have no right to examine his record. Additionally, the school has said nothing about this to anyone.

The question is where do this kid's rights end and my child's (and the other children's) rights begin. Do I have the right to information that can help me evaluate the safety of the environment I send my child into every day? Without any way of gaining access to the official documents, I feel forced to make a decision based on incomplete, and possibly inaccurate, information. I've told my child to call home, if the kid shows up at school, on Monday. I'll be at work but I can send someone to pick her up. Beyond that, I'm at a loss as to what I should do. I can't keep my child out of school indefinitely. I have to work and my child has to be educated.

So, there it is. What would you do?

[Bigmack]

1. Make and appointment and go see the ...

School Superintendent. If you know any School Board members, make an appointment and see them, too.

Do it now... asap.

Privacy concerns may keep them from telling you the whole story, and you don't really need to know every gory detail, but they owe you a hearing on what you've heard as well as some sort of assurance that your kid, and other kids, are safe.

Avoid threats, but remind them that if anything happens with the kid you're talking about, they're going to be liable at some level.

Then call a local reporter and give them the story and see what they do with it.

The whole thing might just be junior high bullshit, but you need to know.... and you need to get your information from high up the ladder.

[Fridays Child]

4. Thanks.

I'll talk to another mom who's also aware of this situation and see if she would be willing to come, too. We need to find out, and going to the district administration is a good idea. I wish we could afford to take an attorney with us.

[REP]

2. You're Getting the Story 3rd-Hand from Children; Consider the Source

If the child really had a gun, chances are that he would not be allowed to return to school. You're hearing this story third-hand, and the story-teller is the girlfriend, who may want to seem as though she has a tough, bad-ass boyfriend when he was really just suspending for being late too many times or for cutting class.

[Fridays Child]

3. Yes, I know.

I realize that the source may not be reliable. I really need some accurate information. If I just dismiss this as kids "talking smack," I could be very sorry, later on. That's a risk I'm unwilling to take.

[pnwmom]

6. What the school WILL be willing to tell you

is what their official policy is about weapons related offenses.

Don't ask about the individual boy. Ask what their policy is if a student brings a gun to school. (In my local school system, that means an automatic expulsion.)

If they have a policy for expulsion, name the boy and say that the children are spreading the rumor that he brought a gun to school. Your child has previously been involved in a confrontation with him. Can they assure you that his returning to school means that the rumor is false?

If they don't have a policy for expulsion, name the boy and say that the children are spreading the rumor that he brought a gun to school. They may decline to give you any information. Whatever they say, ask them what happens if a child has a history of bringing a weapon. How can they assure that that child will not be a threat to anyone in the future?

If they don't have a policy for expulsion, they should make one.

[Fridays Child]

7. This makes very good sense.

It's straightforward and will elicit the answers that will tell me how I should proceed for the sake of my own child's safety. Thank you.

[pnwmom]

9. You're welcome.

Sorry about the whole situation. What a nightmare.

[silverojo]

5. Take the kid out of school

Homeschooling can be done during the evenings. Most of a child's day in school is wasted, anyway (between-class breaks, classes that move slowly b/c teachers have to deal with many kids, whereas you'd just be dealing with one).

Sure, it takes effort, but it's worth it to make sure your kid isn't killed in a Columbine-style crime.

[Fridays Child]

8. This may be the route I take, if I don't get some answers, and quick.