How can the Onion compete with this?

[last1standing]

I don't know what to say, other than this company has three pages of this crap and it's not a joke site.

http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_statues.html

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

1. I dunno if I want this Jesus teaching my kids sports

[NJCher]

11. uh, hey, Jesus

Watch where you put those hands.




Cher

[BlooInBloo]

2. WPWJC?

What Play Would Jesus Call?

:rofl:

[kitkat65]

74. Funny - I was thinking Who Would Jesus Tackle. n/t

[shadowknows69]

3. Words fail me

I prefer my "Buddy Christ" statue, but that is called blasphemous by some. WWJPS: Who Would Jesus Pick in the Superbowl?

[bananas]

4. Football is important, man.

Football and babes.
Jesus knows, he has a website: www.datejesus.com

[nofurylike]

8. i wrote asking you to please be decent about your scan photo.

would you put such a vicious slur of limb amputees as you do of the brain mutilated?!
that ha ha funny joke at their expense is indecent. please remove it. thank you.

[FlaGranny]

21. What are you talking about?

I have brain lesions and don't find the scan indecent. Indecent? Come on. I have multiple sclerosis and I have lesions all over my brain on my brain scan.

[nofurylike]

53. i have pmed and alerted, so am taking it directly to poster. if

the scan was of someone with ms, saying it impairs her/his ability to participate at DU because lacking the necessary capacities; saying it entirely in order to make fun of that, you *would* be offended.
while i am glad for you that you do not have to suffer those particular torturous lesions, i hope you have more care about those who do have them and are too often the brunt of such insensitive, and - once the hurt having been explained and poster asked, politely, to give a shit - indecent jokes.

i'd explained to the poster, in pms. thank you for joining in. maybe now that you know more what is going on here, you will help me to get this DUer to be more compassionate. i hope so. thank you.


peace

[uppityperson]

57. people without the ability to interpret irony participate in DU all the time.

How does this mean someone cannot participate? My parent had MS, so don't bother scolding me about not knowing about MS. You have called people with brain lesions/damage "brain mutilated", which I find rather offensive.

[nofurylike]

62. those particular lesions almost always exist because

of deliberate mutilation, torture. that is the point of my objection.

and humorless people usually are not so because of brain-damage.

i expect you to be more empathetic about it, yes. but that is not scolding you. i know far more about this than you know, so do not command me about it, either. thank you.

[uppityperson]

66. You know little about me, so saying you know far more than I do is also flawed logic.

I do not think you know what knowledge I have, no matter what knowledge you might have. Do you know more than me? How do you know this? I think you are assuming that you do, even though you do not know what the depth of my knowledge is, and being condescending towards me may not be wise.

I thought you were concerned about brain lesions like MS? How about my brain damage, perhaps lesions, from a blunt head injury, not mutilation or torture? Look down to #64. Let's talk there.

[nofurylike]

73. first, another ambiguity on my part, sorry: i do not argue that i

know more than you do, but that i know more than you are aware that i know. i apologize for not seeing my ambiguous meaning there.

on this particular question, i do speak with knowledge that others here apparently do not have, or you would not be saying things you are saying, and the poster of the 'joke' would not keep it up there. not learning more, before posting something like that, is the poster's problem.

but the thing is, that is not pertinent. i am concerned with all people's suffering. i believe that you probably are too. but that is not you being made the JOKE in that sig. those who ARE, almost all of whom also happen to already be victims of *deliberate mutilation*, and who live as the brunt of indecent jokes all too often, ARE the ones. it is those people for whom i am speaking, with authority and with consent.

i hope you will help in this, as i do not know how to get through to that poster. i have already admitted that i am grasping for a way to convey well enough to move that person to remove a cruel joke.


also, i must leave now. i will check back for any reply. thank you.


peace

[uppityperson]

75. I am curious about you. PM would be ok

peace to you. Looking more at picture and I am wondering, lobotomy? Educate me please. Thanks.

[nofurylike]

84. thank you.

i'm thinking it might soon be time for a thread on the subject. lobotomy jokes are popping up again. hadn't for quite some time.

that was kind of you, thank you, uppityperson.


peace

[FlaGranny]

76. I'm afraid many, many posts on this forum will be

offending you. Your sensitivities may be a bit too delicate for you to want to participate here.
:shrug:

[nofurylike]

87. to fight for what's right, kind is "too delicate"? i see that belief-set

is pervasive here.
that is common in male-dominated environments.
and sad, don't you think?

thank you for caring.


peace

[kestrel91316]

71. Use your ignore button if you don't like something somebody says.

[nofurylike]

9. do you not care that the brainscan pic and caption are cruel? eom

[nofurylike]

10. i ask you please, be decent. please. this is cruel. eom

[zanne]

16. What are you talking about?

I've been looking at all the posts, but for the life of me, I don't know what you mean.

[independentpiney]

19. As someone with lesions on my brain (MS)

I don't find it offensive at all.

[FlaGranny]

22. Hey, a fellow Piney?

Hi there. I'm from Burlington Co. Ancestors from Monmouth and Ocean.

Edit: And also an MS sufferer too?

[independentpiney]

29. I'm in Ocean

:hi: Nice to meet you My Dads family goes back ages in Monmouth. It's been changing so much over the last 15-20 years I'm about ready to pick up and move though. :(

[FlaGranny]

40. Everything has been changing.

We moved to Florida almost 30 years ago. It has changed tremendously since we came here. My brother moved to Tennessee several years ago. One of the reasons we left NJ was due to the high taxes.

I've been doing some geneology research and I've traced my mother's side back to the late 1700's in the Monmouth Co. area. I believe they originally came from Mass.

:-D I wonder how many people know what a Piney is?

[nofurylike]

52. well that is good. i'm glad you're not the brunt. and it's good you

don't have the particular lesions being made the joke there.

others DO have those, and DO find it cruel. i know as long as it's not you, you don't care about that, but i hope the DUer with the joke at their expense does.

[independentpiney]

65. You first presumed to speak for everyone with brain lesions

and have now had several people with lesions tell you they're not offended. Do you have those particular lesions? If not, you have no business speaking for those who do. How do you know they're offended, who told you they were offended and why don't they speak up if they are? The poster with the pic and sig line would probably be more likely to listen to them than to you on your one man campaign.

Personally I find your description of people such as myself as having 'mutilated brains' and your presumption that I'm selfish and uncaring , when you know little to nothing about me the offensive things here.

[nofurylike]

70. i spoke for those who have those lesions *from* mutilation. this

is cruel to those people.

you do not have to care, though i hope you will have compassion.
i hope the poster of the scan will care.


peace

[uppityperson]

79. Are you talking about people who have had lobotomies?

that is the only thing I can figure out, the only group you are standing up for. Is this what, whom, you mean? Is this whom you are defending?

Did you read the study in Banana's posting as to whom this was about?

[nofurylike]

82. yes. it does not say it is about lobotomy, and other parts are

about other kinds of lesions. that scan is not. that is a prefrontal lesion. lobotomy.
the only victims continually made the brunt of jokes about the crime against them - jokes by so-called progressives, that is (those... others, i would expect it from). most DUers only need to be asked once, by pm, to remove such jokes. most are surprised to realize there still are lobotomy victims in the world, and even among us; and that such jokes re-victimize.

i apologize for bringing you and others into my anger at, and disappointment with the poster bananas.

thank you.


peace

[uppityperson]

83. OK, I have been around lobotomized people, not for a while but ways back.

I can see resenting making fun of them because that was an awful thing to do. However, I do not think this is doing that, but in general about lesions in the brain. How about another picture about other brain lesions? Hmm, wonder how my brain looks after my 2 in quick succession concussions>>>loss?

Been around people getting electroshocked, insulin shocked, water treatment/etc back in 70's. Way didn't want to work or participate in places that did that and glad to have gone through thorazine/etc to more selective chemicals. Much more work to be done.

[nofurylike]

86. thank you for your sensitive reply. thing is, this was in the context

of a joke, not consciousness-raising about a disability or challenge. another of those old jokes about sarcasm and taking a joke (that are just used to discredit argument, anyway)...

again, victims made the brunt of a joke about a vicious crime done them.
it's not just the scan being there...

and it wouldn't have been said of an autistic person, here.

anyway, i'm letting it go, here.
i'm sorry you had to witness such painful horrors as that. i see it has deepened your sensitivity about it, though. thank you for caring so much about such crimes our society has done.


peace to you

[bananas]

89. It wasn't a cruel joke about lobotomies or anything else

I didn't even know you were talking about lobotomies until earlier today (Monday) when I looked back at this thread.

The reason I put that in my sigline is because I use sarcasm a lot,
and sometimes people take it literally and get offended.
I thought if they saw that in my sigline, they might consider that perhaps I was being sarcastic and not be so offended.

I don't know why you thought it was a cruel joke.
I can understand that someone who was forced to go through a lobotomy might be horrified at seeing that image and thinking someone was making a joke about it.
So I've removed it from my sigline for you.
Now other people will be offended.

[nofurylike]

91. thank you very much for removing it. that was kind. peace. eom

[nofurylike]

67. clearing an ambiguity in my/this previous post:

***i understand you are saying that as long as it's not you, you don't care about that, but i hope the poster of the joke, posted at the expense of those so damaged, does.***


apology for my ambiguity.

[kestrel91316]

72. Don't be a jerk. If you disagree with the poster's humor ,"CLICK IGNORE".

[nofurylike]

81. jerk would be your writing that to me, versus clicking ignore. eom

[uppityperson]

48. wtf are you talking about?

fine, I just have brain damage from a head hit, not lesions that I know of, but what are you upset about? Seems fine to me.

Edited to add, did you read the article the link goes to as it explains what parts of the brain are associated with irony and sarcasm?

"Although the right hemisphere is clearly implicated in detection of irony and sarcasm, there are indications that the frontal lobes may also be involved in interpretation of sarcastic utterances. The frontal lobes have long been considered to play a special role in social cognition, with damage in this region affecting not only high-level cognitive functions but also social behavior (Adolphs, 1999; Eslinger, 1998) and personality (A. R. Damasio, 1994). Alexander, Benson, and Stuss (1989) suggested that damage to the frontal lobes area may impair analysis, planning, and monitoring of language."

"The social communicative function of irony suggests a distinct role for ventromedial (VM) regions within the frontal lobes, as opposed to dorsolateral (DL) regions. Whereas DL prefrontal regions have been associated with executive functions, VM lesions have been shown to result in impaired social skills, such as social judgment (Eslinger & Damasio, 1985) and decision making (Bechara, Damasio, Tranel, & Anderson, 1998). Thus, if patients with lesions in sub-regions of the prefrontal cortex differ in their deficit in understanding sarcasm, this would suggest that specific areas within the prefrontal cortex are crucial to the mediation of comprehension of sarcastic utterances."

"Given the emotional and social communicative function of sarcastic utterances, it is only to be expected that its interpretation would be mediated by brain areas specialized in affective processing and social cognition. As noted above, the right frontal lobe has been implicated in nonliteral language functions (Alexander et al., 1989), humor appreciation (Shammi & Stuss, 1999), and self-awareness (Stuss & Benson, 1986). It has been previously suggested that the right and the left hemispheres have separate contributions to communication, the left hemisphere’s role being propositional and symbolic and the right hemisphere’s role being emotional (Bloom, Borod, Obler, & Gerstman, 1993; Buck, 1995)." ...(more)

[nofurylike]

54. so what do you think it is there to say? it's not about an agency or

organization to support those suffering from it. it's not to raise consciousness to support and protect such inflicted.

what would you say is the point of it, the message in the poster's posting that, and its caption?

thank you.

[uppityperson]

56. perhaps one does not interpret sarcasm because one has a lesion on brain.

That is the point I see. Making a joke at the risk of offending people with brain lesions by comparing sarcasmless people with them.

[nofurylike]

60. ty. something like that, i presume. is that okay, do you think?

and would that kind of compare with saying that someone... let's say, someone 'lazy' - a behavior, an attitude (poster is really referring to those s/he feels are 'humor-impaired' here on DU, don't you think?) - can be explained and made fun of by posting a photo of someone with no legs?
and would that be okay?
i don't think so. i would speak out against that, too.
i am convinced that others would also speak against that.


i appreciate your being willing to really consider what i'm asking be understood. it is hard to express. i'm grasping here!

i've tried to reason with the poster, and with mods...
but i can not just let it continue, as i know people wounded by it. when i see it still there, it just tears me up, so i'm taking it public.


peace!

[uppityperson]

64. someone once said to my parent (with MS) "What's the matter, are you

spastic?" after she tripped on something. She said "well, yes, I am" and the friend was shocked, spluttered, didn't realize the words he said had this meaning for her.

By saying "Lesions associated with impaired ability to interpret sarcasm" one might then infer that people with impared ability to interpret sarcasm have brain lesions but that is incorrect logic. Another such comparison is (an example from my own catty woodsy mousy home) Cats are associated with dead mice lying around. However, there can be dead mice without having hunting cats. The statement about lesions is fine, the inference that people who cannot interpret sarcasm have brain lesions is wrong.

This is why I do not take offense.

[raysr]

5. Check this out

a Linux OS for CHRISTIANS!!!!http://angrykeyboarder.wordpress.com/2006/08/19/christian-ubuntu-my-02/

[Maat]

6. Well, I, for one, believe that football is a holy thing ...

that is why I'm a San Diego Chargers season ticketholder (my secret addiction - or not-so-secret one)!

Every other Sunday, during season, I attend a holy ceremony beginning at about 1 PM.

I have to tailgate ... so we have to arrive at the Stadium at about 10 AM.

HeeHee.

Seriously, what a whacky thing!

[Syrinx]

7. KNOCK HIS ASS INTO THE DIRT!!!

GO UP INTO THE STANDS AND SLAP HIS MAMA!! WE GOTTA BE MEAN!! MEAN I SAY!!

I know Jesus said that, because it is written in red.

[WilliamPitt]

12. Jesus sucks

Or at least his o-line ain't worth shit.

Look at that! He's getting tackled by a 4th grader at the handoff. No protection, no moves. That's a statue comemmorating a five-yard loss. Awesome. I think Notre Dame could use some of those after Saturday night.

I hope that's natural grass, at least. I'd hate to see The Savior nuke an Achilles playing on Astroturf in those stupid-ass sandals. How can he cut in those things?

Jesus ain't no scatback.

Bet against the spread. Trust me.

[last1standing]

36. But Satan swallows.

I think I'd prefer Hell.

[Hekate]

13. I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus...

"I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far"

Schmaltzy, kitschy -- it's a great folk trad by now -- what more can I say?

:rofl:

Hekate

[Sydnie]

20. LOL

He won't slip and he won't slide
'cuz his ass is magnetized!

I remember singing that song as a kid. A good catholic girl taught me that song. :rofl:

[Mountainman]

26. You can hit me with a stick or a board as long as I have my plastic Lord sitting on the dash board

of my car.

[mcscajun]

28. I prefer the version sung by the choir of the Right Rev. Dr. Billy Sol Hargis

"Here at the First Church of the Gooey Death and Discount House of Worship (Old Don Imus sketch before he got all Right-Wingy on us) Coming to you from Holyland USA in Del Rio, Texas, the gold buckle of the Bible Belt."

"I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I can go a hundred miles an hour
'Long as I got the Almighty Power
Glued up there by my pair of fuzzy dice."

[izzie]

14. Onion is funny and that is sad

--Have we done this before? Christians in the 'super bowl'

[Island Blue]

15. Next stop ... Dancing with the Stars

Jesus in a tutu - who knew?

[originalpckelly]

25. It is me or is Jesus looking down the shirt of the girl in the pink?

I can just hear the pick up line:
"Hey, baby, so did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt?"
"When you fell from heaven?"
"?????"
"Want to go my dad's house?"
"Where's that?"
"Where you fell from."
"I think you're 2000 years too old for me Jesus."
"But my dad's cool, he won't tell."
"Get away from me Jesus."


Jesus:
"Baby, so do you wanna get high?"
"On what?"
"No, I'm not talking about drugs, do you wanna get high?"
"???????"

[Bucky]

37. Well I don't think either of you should be looking down her shirt, PC.

But then again, I think Jesus needs to get a haircut; he's looking like some kind of danged hippy there.

[shadowknows69]

17. Gotta love the hockey one

Jesus: "Don't forget children, when someone gives you a painful body check, to turn the other cheek"

[lonestarnot]

18. What in the hell are these people thinking?

Commercial Jesus, now that's just the ticket, just what bushitler would want. Exploitation of Jesus. Sell sell sell. eyeyieyie.

[FlaGranny]

77. I saw Jesus today

on a fork and spoon. You know those big ones you see hanging on walls in kitchens? Does Jesus really belong on a fork and spoon?

[undeterred]

23. We should take up a collection so Jesus can get a uniform

Never play football in a dress.

[Fire Walk With Me]

24. Is there one of Jesus protecting Mimes from public drubbing?

Or did he cast them from the temple along with the moneychangers?

[originalpckelly]

27. It looks like Jesus is checking this girl's ass out:

(Or was that boy?)

[burythehatchet]

31. why are they standing on pita bread?

[Bluebear]

45. ...

:spray:

[Greyhound]

30. Apparently Jesus doesn't like to play with kids that aren't white either...

:crazy::silly::banghead::crazy:

[last1standing]

35. I noticed that, too.

All the kids are very fair skinned, mostly with red hair. Of course, since their version of Jesus is northern European as well, I guess it makes sense. :shrug:

[HeeBGBz]

32. Sweet Jesus on a baseball diamond

Three strikes and you go to hell, buddy!

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

33. Jesus Christ All-American! Win one for the Messiah! Last supper after game!

[Greybnk48]

34. Isn't touching pigskin punishable by death?? n/t

I think I read that somewhere. :sarcasm:

[Minnesota_Lib]

38. If his team loses, do the opposing players get to thank Jesus for the win?

And do his teammates praise Jesus for the loss?

These are, I guess, theological questions best left to the experts...the head coaches.

[last1standing]

41. Do you think Jesus' dad would scream at the ref?

Or maybe get into fights with the other moms and dads? Jesus probably gets all embarassed by God acting like an asshole because his son was called out.

"You're not my dad! Joseph my dad, now! Just go back to where you came from, old man!"

:rofl:

[Minnesota_Lib]

49. "Hey, who turned the umpire into a pillar of salt?"

:rofl:

[dorkulon]

39. LOFL! I want one! (nt)

[AnnieBW]

42. Touchdown Jesus!

I'll bet that one sells really well at Notre Dame!

[Kelly Rupert]

43. And Jesus said to them, if anyone strikes you on your right cheek,

turn to him your left hand and block outwards, exposing his trunk to your mighty fist.

[last1standing]

46. Ah yes! Sensei Jesus.

"I can teach you much, my children. You will be strong and powerful in my care."

Someone else said it first, but they were right. Every one of these statuettes looks like it was created by a member of NAMBLA.

[Kelly Rupert]

44. It was a little-known historical fact that

Jesus was a total pedo.

[LeftCoast]

47. And, like little #21 isn't going to burn in hell for trying to tackle Jesus?

:rofl:

[jmowreader]

50. I like the golf one

Unfortunately, Jesus doesn't realize that you'd probably get another 150 yards if He didn't have His arms wrapped around you while you were trying to drive.

[last1standing]

51. An adult wraps his arms around a little boy and grabs his hard stick....

It's the perfect gift for priests! :rofl:

[leeroysphitz]

55. To each his/her own. I'm an atheist from head to toe and

as silly as this may seem from my perspective as a liberal I can't help but keep an open mind and consider the possibility that others may find value in this.

Also look at it through the lens of irony. The kitsch factor is off the charts.

[last1standing]

59. You're right, of course.

I'm finding value in them without even buying one. :)

[elperromagico]

58. Didn't Conan O'Brien have these on his show a few years back?

[Radical Activist]

78. Yes. n/t

[hsher]

61. My reaction - this monkey's face says it all

[demgurl]

63. My nephew takes Tae Kwon Do...

and I just recently saw his certificate where he went up to a green belt. The certificate had 'kicking for Jesus' written on it! That is simply wrong on so many levels.

[hsher]

68. That's exploding in popularity here in New Mexico

"Christian" martial-arts dojos. That's "the spin". But go inside them and you see "Christian" seems to be, in many cases, a sly codeword for "all-Caucasian, no minorities, family values". A little Muslim boy whose naive parents put him in one had such a hard time there. I was volunteering there to see what life was like there, saw how he was treated, and cuddled and supported him. He blossomed like a little flower, poor little guy. I doted over Hassan like a son (and I recall his parents were later somewhat pleasantly surprised I was a Jew doing this! Score one for religious harmony!). After this period, I got sick of what I was seeing and left for a better PT gig. I think I was put in Hassan's path to show him not all Americans hate him and his parents, that some of us care.

He started off antisocial and violent, muttering, "I wanna kill you! I'm gonna blow you up!" (Sadly I'm not kidding about that.)

He ended it, "Miss Heather, you're really cool, I like you." And getting along with his peers, no longer making threats or fighting. And he is on his way to black belt at age eight! Great kid!

[last1standing]

69. Jesus loves violence.

These are the kind of people who still think the Crusades were a good idea. :crazy:

[The Straight Story]

80. "It's First and Goal, Jesus lines up in the I formation...OOO he's sacked, someone's going to hell."

:rofl:

[cascadiance]

85. Here's a few more scarey sites...

Presidential Prayer Team for Kids!

http://pptkids.org/index.php







American Fundamentalists in Washington!

http://www.americanfundamentalists.com/


BIBLEMAN!



http://www.familychristian.com/shop/product_image.asp?ProdID=5051


For Catholic Beer Drinkers!





A whole slew of "spiritual" dolls!



http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net/


















For Christian "Adults"...

http://www.divine-interventions.com/jackhammer.html


More...

http://www.misspoppy.com/catalog/xcart/customer/home.php?cat=295



















http://www.fadtoys.com/dashboard-dazzlers/jesus-dashboard-dazzler.shtml

My favorite!



http://www.fadtoys.com/dashboard-dazzlers/monk-dashboard-dazzler.shtml

[walldude]

90. They actually have an association

The Christian Retailers Association... God is big business..

[elperromagico]

88. I like Christ's confidence. Not even wearing a helmet. n/t