If torture works and is a legal means of gathering intelligence

[AIJ Alom]

then why have we not tortured Saddam Hussein yet ? I'm sure water-boarding could induce Mr. Hussein into telling us where those WMD are ! And with our soldiers in the field, we could find these locations that he reveals, while nearly feeling as if he were drowning, in no time.

Electric shocks could induce him into revealing valuable intel about his links with Al Qaeda. I'm sure it will require high voltage and multiple, relentless jolts, but maybe Saddam will finally admit to his governments ties to Osama Bin Laden. Maybe he can tell us where Bin Laden is !

And I'm sure sleep deprivation, starvation, and a few enjoyable moments as the keystone of a naked human pyramid will induce him into revealing who killed JFK, did we really land of the moon, and the true nature of God.

Just imagine the possibilities that are open to us through the means of torture. So why haven't we ? I mean here is the leader of a brutal regime just chock full of info and yet we're willing to send him to the gallows without even so much as a female soldier belittling his manhood. It almost seems as if torture doesn't work.

End satire.