Police: Gator Victim Was Naked, Smoking Crack

[The Straight Story]

Police: Gator Victim Was Naked, Smoking Crack

POSTED: 4:18 pm EST November 29, 2006
UPDATED: 5:42 pm EST November 29, 2006


A man who was pulled from the jaws of an alligator by four Polk County sheriff's deputies was naked and smoking crack near a lake before he was attacked, according to police.

Authorities said the Polk County Sheriff's Office received multiple calls at about 3:30 a.m. Wednesday concerning screams for help coming from an area of Lake Parker County Park near the Moose Lodge on East Lake Parker Drive.

When officers arrived, they heard a Adrian Apgar in the lake screaming for help and saying he was being attacked by an alligator.

The deputies dove into the alligator-infested waters and searched for the man, the police report said. Once the deputies found the victim, they were able to pull him from the alligator's jaws and swim about 40 feet to shore.

http://www.local6.com/news/10424154/detail.html

Note to self: Do not smoke crack near gator infested waters.

[Tony Soprano]

1. Or was that a police disguised as a gator?

That is what I always expect when I'm smlking crack by a pond, naked and the paranoia is intense....

[The Straight Story]

2. Sounds like a new fox show - Gator Cops ;) (nt)

[Bozita]

5. I was thinking Cooking Channel. Something like a turducken

[Tony Soprano]

16. Take one naked

idiot redneck, marinated in crack cocaine and alcohol (take my word, it was there, too) HAve swallowed by large gator. Kill and skin gator. Cook on a spit until done or until the whole goddam thing spontaneously explodes and flies over the Everglades.

[originalpckelly]

3. That guy must have been smoking crack...oh wait.

I don't know whether to :rofl: or :cry:

[Generic Brad]

4. His plan would have worked perfectly had it not been for that pesky gator!

[TahitiNut]

6. He was Lacosted.

[AlCzervik]

7. ROFL!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :spray: :spray: :spray:

[TahitiNut]

9. It could've been worse.

He could've been sexually lacosted.




:evilgrin:

I'll be here all season.

[AlCzervik]

10. "Show us on this doll where the gator touched you"

[The Straight Story]

11. That is wrong on so many levels

which is why I like it so much :evilgrin:

[AlCzervik]

13. well i figure i'm already going to hell so why not?

:D

[The Straight Story]

14. Hell would be * as president. Oh wait...AHHHHH!!! it burns!

What did I do to deserve this shit from him???

I would piss my pants if I could see Donald Trump sitting across from bush and telling him "You're Fired!" and see bush sulking as he packed up and left.

[NOLADEM]

8. Nicely played

[Beetwasher]

12. Brilliant!

:rofl:

[Warren DeMontague]

25. You know, I don't believe in hell

but if it exists, you're goin' there, buddy. :evilgrin:

[Mojambo]

15. "Look Ma! I got my name in the paper!" n/t

[Solly Mack]

17. Wonder if the gator got a contact high

[MrSlayer]

18. Crackheads are notorious for not sharing.

And that gator was jonesing.

[madmusic]

19. Never bogart the pipe...

If they were smoking pot, the gater would have munched him.

[LittleClarkie]

20. Maybe the poor thing just wanted a hit.

Did anyone think of that?

[Tony Soprano]

21. I think that the thought of a gator high on crack

is very chilling indeed. Now take the white tail deer, THEY act just like they are on the shit, haha....

[Jamastiene]

22. I hope they got the head away from the gator

before the poor gator got addicted to that stuff. :rofl:

[Tony Soprano]

23. I can see him now...

walkin'' down MLK, "Who got some work?" I got 20 on it....:rofl:

[symbolman]

24. Bummer dude...

"While underwater, rescueing the crackhead, the sheriffs still found time to stuff the alligator with 2004 presidential election ballots, just in case the newly elected Democrats called for investigations..." :)

[Downtown Hound]

26. Talk about about a bummer trip.

Or maybe it was like, TOTALLY INTENSE!