Wednesday, November 29, 2006
The fewer the states, the better the unionBy GARRISON KEILLOR
I'm sitting under a banyan tree in Honolulu with a big glass of pomegranate juice, and the sea is glittering and surfers are skimming in on low waves, and the election is over, so let's all relax and quit irritating one another. OK? Nancy Pelosi, the she-wolf from Sodom, is the madam of the House, so you Republicans just get over it. Cash in your blue chips and invest in gold ingots and maybe real estate in Costa Rica. The black helicopters have landed. Live with it.
Democrats intend to bring reform to Washington, and why not begin with the Senate? It has been sorely in need of reform for a century or so. Two senators per state is a good idea in theory, assuming they are half smart, but then you look at George Allen, a lumbering frat boy from the state of Madison and Jefferson, and you think, whoa, something is wrong with this picture. We need some horizontal control.
Let's start at the beginning and redraw the map. First of all, is there a reason for Wyoming to exist as a state? I have often wondered about this. Why give two Senate seats to a half-million dime-store cowboys while California gets two seats for 34 million people? (Wyoming has roughly the population of Sacramento.) It's OK if Wyoming sends somebody with brains and an independent streak, but when they send a couple of Republican hacks, it makes no sense.
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And that is how you create a permanent Democratic majority. Tom DeLay showed us the way. Learn from the master. Those dinkeldorfs who ran the show for 12 years must never be allowed to return to power. Take those suits to the cleaners. Subject them to alternative interrogation techniques until we get to the truth. George Allen would make a decent host of a daytime quiz show. He came dangerously close to running for president. Ai yi yi yi yi. Let's get to work.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/293953_garrison29.html?source=rss