Al Gore Caught Warming Globe To Increase Box Office Profits (Onion)

[dave29]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/56631

Environmental groups have called for the federal government to step in and put a stop to Gore's actions, but officials say they do not have the power to stop him.

"There is no legal recourse anyone can take against the former vice president," Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen L. Johnson said. "Mr. Gore is well within the emissions standards set by the current administration."

By year's end, Gore failed to slow his assault on the planet's delicately balanced climate systems. Satellite surveillance revealed what many believe to be a snowshoed Gore jumping up and down on an ice shelf in Greenland, chainsawing glaciers in the Alaskan wild, and urinating in the Gulf Stream waters off the coast of Newfoundland.

LOL

[NYCGirl]

1. Wow! He's even more powerful than I thought!

:rofl:

[IndyOp]

2. !

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:hi:

If you haven't seen it yet - be sure to watch Big Al in "An Inconvenient Truth - About Christmas!"

[Viva_La_Revolution]

6. that's FUNNY

and I absolutely believe he agreed to do the skit. He cracks me up. :)

:rofl:

[negativenihil]

3. HAH!

:rofl:

[Junkdrawer]

4. Global warming wasn't a problem until Al...

showed how much we carried the water for Big Oil. This doesn't surprise us at all...

Signed:

The Corporate Media

[Bigmack]

5. Be careful sending this out...

Some peoply are irony and satire challenged.

My great-aunt was so outraged at "Bill Of Rights Pared Down To A Manageable Six", that I had to call her and explain about the Onion. She loves reading it now and sends me articles.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27610

[IndyOp]

7. Agreed. It should be clearly labeled before distribution...

I think some people would BELIEVE this part...

"We have accounts from concerned citizens that Mr. Gore purchased a Cadillac Escalade SUV several months before opened in theaters," said Kimberly Blume, spokeswoman for the California-based environmental group Friends Of The Earth. "Not only did Mr. Gore use his new gas-guzzler to make short trips to the grocery store, he also left the vehicle running 24 hours a day in the driveway of his Tennessee home with the air-conditioning on full-blast."

In the weeks following the film's release, witnesses reported additional sightings of Gore engaging in activities such as discharging can after can of 1980s-era, CFC-laden aerosol into the air,"

Though I think even the more satirically-challenged would get this part is a joke...

"...and single-handedly clear-cutting over 6,000 acres of Amazon rain forest.

Gore is also rumored to have set a four-acre tire fire outside Akron, OH, and ordered his Secret Service detail to shoot on sight anyone who attempts to put it out."

:hi: