Dedicated to dead eye Dick: Tom Lehrer's "Hunting Song"

[mom cat]

:bounce: ENJOY :bounce:

Either click the link to get the words and the tune:

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/hunting.htm


or just sing them to yourself with the cheat sheet below:

TOM LEHRER REVISITED
8. The Hunting Song
Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else, under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat, perhaps. Maybe a large flesh-colored squirrel. At any rate, it seems to me that this marks an encouraging new trend in the field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song which I present herewith.

I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day!
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,
And I say "There's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow.



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Notes
*In the orchestral version of this song, the last two stanzas are repeated.

Be sure and kick and rate so more people can enjoy!

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Hahahaha!

:thumbsup: That's excellent! :hi:

[mom cat]

2. I thought you might like it!

I heart my kitties too!

[EFerrari]

3. LOL! Thank you!

:rofl:

[mom cat]

5. You are so welcome. As soon as I heard of Dickies' dumb dumb

the song popped into my head. It was a bit of a search, but well worth it.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

4. Thank you mom cat!!

Professor Tom rules!!

And :yourock: :D

[mom cat]

8. He's my man! Also, the link leads you to all the lyrics. Check this out:

The Elements: sung to a possibly recoginizable tune:

http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html

[SalmonChantedEvening]

24. In my bookmarks!!

Thank you HEAPS!! :pals:

[mom cat]

36. Thanks for the hug! Enjoy. After all, we need songs for the battle:

Such as:
The Folk Song Army
http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/folksong.htm


THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS

4. The Folk Song Army
One type of song that has come into increasing prominence in recent months is the folk song of protest. You have to admire people who sing these songs. It takes a certain amount of courage to get up in a coffee house or a college auditorium and come out in favor of the things that everybody else in the audience is against, like peace and justice and brotherhood and so on. But the nicest thing about a protest song is that it makes you feel so good. I have a song here which, I realize, should be accompanied on a folk instrument, in which category the piano does not, alas, qualify. So imagine, if you will, that I am playing an 88-string guitar!

We are the folk song army,
Every one of us cares.
We all hate poverty, war, and injustice
Unlike the rest of you squares.

There are innocuous folk songs, yeah,
But we regard 'em with scorn.
The folks who sing 'em have no social conscience,
Why, they don't even care if Jimmy Crack Corn.

If you feel dissatisfaction,
Strum your frustrations away.
Some people may prefer action,
But give me a folk song any old day.

The tune don't have to be clever,
And it don't matter if you put a couple extra syllables into a line.
It sounds more ethnic if it ain't good English
And it don't even gotta rhyme... (excuse me: rhyne!)

Remember the war against Franco?*
That's the kind where each of us belongs.
Though he may have won all the battles,
We had all the good songs!

So join in the folk song army!
Guitars are the weapons we bring
To the fight against poverty, war, and injustice.
Ready, aim, sing!

[Wordie]

6. LOL...an Ode to Cheyney!

And for anyone who is baffled by this, check out this thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x2455153

[mom cat]

10. I can't wait for Molly Ivins take on it! That VP can't hunt!

[radio4progressives]

7. that was cute ... i tried to sing along to the tune, for the most i got it

right, but tongue got tangled up on a couple of those lines..

funny, never heard the song before, thanks! :hi:

[mcscajun]

12. Check out more of Tom Lehrer...

...on "That Was The Year That Was" and "Songs and More Songs by Tom Lehrer"

He's got a lot of howlers! Because they're topical, some are dated, but newly relevant, others just dated, some Perennial favorites, like "The Hunting Song."

[mom cat]

14. I still love "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" and his his World War 111

song:
So Long Mom, I'm off to drop the Bomb
So don't Wait up for Me.
The lyrics are all at the link.

[mom cat]

13. If you liked that tounge twister, try this:

http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html

Here is some more about him:
Harvard Professor of Math who doubled as a political satirist in the 60's

Definately worth checking into.

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2006-02,GGLG:en&q=Tom+Lehrer

[mcscajun]

9. Hot Damn! This is one of my favorite Lehrer tunes.

"You just stand there lookin' cute,
and when something moves, you shoot!"

Going to play the orchestra version now...both are in my collection. :)

[mom cat]

17. Check out this flash animation of The Elements:

http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html

[Nothing Without Hope]

11. YES!!! "Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow" That's Dick all right

K & R I'd love to hear this on the radios when they talk about Manly Dick. I suggest you email Keith Olbermann about it - he might like to put it in a show segment along with the canned mass slaughter the VP considers hunting and the oops-shooting of his co-"Hunter."

Here's his email:
[e-mail]

[mom cat]

18. Done! Great suggestion!

[Palladin]

15. I grew up in Casper, Cheney's hometown

and graduated from Natrona County High School five years after he and Lynn did. Dick and Lynn learned how to smoke at NCHS - those days
all the cool cats could duck out into the courtyard for a smoke between classes. Anyhow, guns are a way of life in Wyomin'. We were all a
bunch of reckless *ss*oles. Me too. I remember the times we used to head out into the sagebrush with our .22s and our sixpacks of beer, and
shoot at anything that moved. Quail. Sagehens. Lizards. Snakes. All kinda small critters. Drunk as skunks.

Cheney's path and mine diverged though. I gave up hunting for good after I went out with a family friend to get my first antelope. We were
out in the sagebrush and I made a terrific shot, brought down a buck at 200 yards, one shot. The family friend goes out with me to the kill, and
and the poor critter was still alive. He takes out a huge Bowie knife and castrates the buck - "gotta do this or it spoils the meat ya know" - death
throes internal ejaculation. Then he takes out his hatchet and beheads the beast. Nobody but nobody wants to EAT antelope anyway. I certainly
didn't intend to. What a godawful experience, killing and mutilating this poor critter for nothing except bloodlust - I don't know how to describe
it otherwise.

Nope, I never hunted in Wyomin' or anywhere else after that. Dick Cheney sure did though. He's as reckless as ever. Somebody ought to ask him
if he had a load on during this incident. Jack and coke is what these characters would be drinkin' with their money.

The chickenhawk has also been supremely reckless with American lives, American soldiers and Marines he has sent to their deaths in a despicable cause.

[Nothing Without Hope]

21. Great post! Thanks for this. n/t

[mom cat]

25. This accident will take him down a peg .. it's the equivalent in Texas to

a man who can't hold his liquor. It is time to turn the tables on them with humiliation.
He can't even shoot! .... goes to the core of manhood!

[Palladin]

32. "Gravitas"

- despite his carefully crafted persona, Chickenhawk ain't got it. There are folks
back in Casper right now, fellow Mustang football buddies, academics from the high
school and junior college, people from the telephone company, oilmen - people who have known
Cheney from kneehigh - who will tell you he's a phoney. Always has been.
What he's had all his life is a lust for power and money. He happened to marry Lynn, who's
much more intelligent than he is - she was the HS valedictorian after all, while he was the football
captain - who has directed him to seize opportunities and cut down his enemies.

Somebody ought to ask him about liquor in this incident. He won't want to answer, the swine.

[mom cat]

38. Hope this sticks like stink on shit!

[Ian David]

35. Can we offer to pay Mitt Romney's expenses to go hunting with Dick? n/t

[Palladin]

37. Personally, I think we ought to pass the hat for

Condi and Rummy. Ought to make a man oughta Condi, yessir.

[mom cat]

39. Sure. I'll chip in!

I have a whole list of invitees!

[gimama]

50. good post..thank You.

He's so ate up with 'nasty',
I bet he's a MEAN drunk.
We know there's more to this accident,anyway.

[bettyellen]

16. very funny!

[mom cat]

33. Glad you liked it. Lehrer is a treasure.

Check out some of the other songs on the site. :bounce:

[sandnsea]

19. That's the way to do it!!

Admonishment and ridicule, kapow!!

[mom cat]

26. You got it. Run with it!

[unblock]

20. aw, jeez! MY post sink like a stone, THIS one gets on the greatest page

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=396411&mesg_id=396411

just for the record, I WAS FIRST! :grr:

:hi:

[mom cat]

28. You were FIRST! I give you full credit for being a great mind

in the same sewer!

Yours probably sank because you didn't tie it to Cheney.

It was the first thing I thought of. Lehrer is just timeless! :bounce:

[unblock]

31. actually i think timing was the difference

i was too quick on the trigger.

no, wait, that was cheney!

:rofl:

[mom cat]

40. Oh! you got the biggest belly laugh out of me on that one!

Too quick on the trigger: Premature ejaculation!

[freethought]

22. OMFG!!! This reinforces my respect for DU!!!

I thought that Tom Lehrer was forgotten! So few few people even seem to know who he was. His material was truly classic.

I give fellow DUers a bow!!!

:applause: :woohoo: :applause: :woohoo:

[annabanana]

23. If anyone remembers Lehrer, It'd by DUers...

Smart articulate and funny as hell... A perfect fit!
(My favorite, and my "party piece", as a child was Rickety Tickety Tin! I used to slay 'em at my folks' parties)

[mom cat]

30. So we had to make do with gin!

Click link for lyrics and tune:
http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/irish.htm
or just see them below:


TOM LEHRER REVISITED
7. The Irish Ballad
Now I'd like to turn to the folk song, which has become in recent years the particularly fashionable form of idiocy among the self-styled intellectual. We find that people who deplore the level of current popular songs - although I admit they do seem to be recording almost anything these days. have you heard Sessue Hayakawa's record of Remember Pearl Harbor? These same people who deplore the level of current popular songs and yet will sit around enthralled singing Jimmy crack corn and I don't care or "Green Grow The Rushes, Oh!" - whatever that means. At any rate, for this elite I have here an ancient Irish ballad, which was written a few years ago, and which is replete with all the accoutrements of this art form. In particular, it has a sort of idiotic refrain, in this case rickety-tickety-tin you'll notice cropping up from time to time, running through, I might add, interminable verses - The large number of verses being a feature expressly designed to please the true devotees of the folk song who seem to find singing fifty verses of On Top Of Old Smokey is twice as enjoyable as singing twenty-five.

This type of song also has what is known technically in music as a modal tune, which means - for the benefit of any layman who may have wandered in this evening - that I play a wrong note every now and then, I think I might add... (starts to play, then stops)

This song though does differ strikingly from the genuine folk ballad in that in this song the words which are supposed to rhyme - actually do. (starts to play, then stops) I, ah, I really should say that - I do not direct these remarks against the vast army of folk song lovers, but merely against that peculiar hard core who seem to equate authenticity with artistic merit and illiteracy with charm. (starts to play, then stops)

Oh - one more thing. One of the more important aspects of public folk singing is audience participation, and this happens to be a good song for group singing. So if any of you feel like joining in with me on this song, I'd appreciate it if you would leave - right now. (Starts to play, and continues...)

About a maid I'll sing a song,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
About a maid I'll sing a song,
Who didn't have her fam'ly long.
Not only did she do them wrong,
She did ev'ryone of them in, them in,
She did ev'ryone of them in.

One morning in a fit of pique,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One morning in a fit of pique,
She drowned her father in the creek.
The water tasted bad for a week,
And we had to make do with gin, with gin,
We had to make do with gin.

Her mother she could never stand,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
Her mother she could never stand,
And so a cyanide soup she planned.
The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
And her face in a hideous grin, a grin,
Her face in a hideous grin.

She set her sister's hair on fire,
a-Rickety-tickety-tin,
She set her sister's hair on fire,
And as the smoke and flame rose high'r,
Danced around the funeral pyre,
Playin' a violin, -olin,
Playin' a violin.

She weighted her brother down with stones,
a-Rickety-tickety-tin,
She weighted her brother down with stones,
And sent him off to Davy Jones.
All they ever found were some bones,
And occasional pieces of skin, of skin,
Occasional pieces of skin.

One day when she had nothing to do,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One day when she had nothing to do,
She cut her baby brother in two,
And served him up as an Irish stew,
And invited the neighbors in, -bors in,
Invited the neighbors in.

And when at last the police came by,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
And when at last the police came by,
Her little pranks she did not deny.
To do so she would have had to lie,
And lying, she knew, was a sin, a sin,
Lying, she knew, was a sin.

My tragic tale I won't prolong,
Rickety-tickety-tin,
My tragic tale I won't prolong,
And if you do not enjoy my song,
You've yourselves to blame if it's too long,
You should never have let me begin, begin,
You should never have let me begin.



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Click here to go to the next song on the album.

Click here to return to the main Tom Lehrer page.

[mom cat]

29. Tom Lehrer will never be forgotten,

as long as there are pigeons.

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/pigeons.htm


AN EVENING (WASTED) WITH TOM LEHRER
1. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
I'd like to take you now on wings of song as it were, and try and help you forget, perhaps, for a while, your drab wretched lives. Here is a song all about springtime in general, and in particular about one of the many delightful pastimes that the coming of spring affords us all.

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes every Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun's shining bright,
Everything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel* or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment,
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strych'nine
We feed to a pigeon.
(It just takes a smidgin!)
To poison a pigeon in the park.

Thank you!


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Notes
* In 1998, Lehrer performed this song as part of a one-off show devoted to Sir Cameron Mackintosh, and substituted "sparrow" for "squirrel"

[iverglas]

49. you don't spend enough time down in the gun dungeon

Some of us there are quite fond of old Tom, although we do tend to bend him to fit.

Here, start with mine and continue down:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=118&topic_id=80330&mesg_id=80513

composed in honour of the kid blinded by a shot from a piece of shit handgun, about whom many crocodile tears were being shed by the rkba-head brigade ... who are strangely silent in this Cheney episode. Funny, when they had so much to say when Kerry was cleverly photographed looking away from his target after firing a shot ... thus disqualifying himself from every having a word to say about firearms legislation ever again.

That trip down memory lane also brought Spike Jones back to mind ... "Ist this Nutzi land not good?" Gun nutzis ...

[Nothing Without Hope]

51. I LOVE Tom Lehrer! His material is often even MORE appropos today n/t

[livvy]

27. Too funny! Thanks! n/t

[mom cat]

41. Glad you liked it. We needed the laugh!

[Ian David]

34. Maybe he shoulda stuck to "Poisoning Pigeons in the park"

Quails 1, Chickenhawks 0.

[mom cat]

43. Bet he could find some anthrax to do the job!

[Doctor_J]

42. There's a folk singer who calls himself Sammy From Miami

who has a song about the first day of deer deason in WI - it's called "Beerhunter".

[mom cat]

45. Do you have the words? It sounds great!

[Doctor_J]

48. I don't but here's a link to his page

where you can listen to a sample.

http://members.aol.com/sammyfm4/samyfm12.htm

[mom cat]

53. Thanks! I'll do that.

[midnight]

44. my father played his music

Our family favorite was national brotherhood week.

[mom cat]

46. And here is the link to that! I was singing that to myself earlier today.

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/natbroth.htm

THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS
1. National Brotherhood Week
One week of every year is designated National Brotherhood Week. This is just one of many such weeks honoring various worthy causes. One of my favorites is National Make-Fun-Of-The-Handicapped Week, which Frank Fontaine and Jerry Lewis are in charge of as you know. During National Brotherhood Week various special events are arranged to drive home the message of brotherhood - this year, for example, on the first day of the week, Malcolm X was killed,* which gives you an idea of how effective the whole thing is.

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another, and I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! Here's a song about National Brotherhood Week.

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks,
And the black folks hate the white folks;
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
Lena Horne** and Sheriff Clark*** are dancing cheek to cheek.
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don't let 'em in your school.

Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
It's American as apple pie.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chic.
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand,
You can tolerate him if you try!

Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
And everybody hates the Jews.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
It's National Everyone-Smile-At-One-Another-Hood Week.
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you.
It's only for a week, so have no fear;
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!



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Notes
* For those wondering when National Brotherhood Week actually was, Malcolm X was killed on Sunday, February 21, 1965. If that was the first day of National Brotherhood Week, then it ran from February 21 through February 27 that year, or the last full week in February.

** Lena Horne, born 1917, was a mulatto lounge singer, active in the 1960's, who was criticized for her lack of involvement in the Civil Rights Movement.

*** Sheriff Jim Clark of Selma, Alabama, was responsible for several violent arrests of Civil Rights protestors, over the wishes of Selma mayor Joseph Smitherman, who wanted to bring industry to the town, and didn't want the negative publicity that violence would bring.

[understandinglife]

47. K&R!! LOL!!!

Peace.

[DemReadingDU]

52. K&R