What do people say when they're busted for alcohol-related crimes?

[goodboy]

"I only had one beer"

Really.

"I had a beer about 3 hourth ago, offither, really"

Riiiiiight.

[noamnety]

1. followed by:

that pedestrian wandered into the path of my car.

[goodboy]

4. He didn't announce that he was behind me when I backed over him.

[babylonsister]

2. 100, 97, 99, 96...

B-)

[Botany]

3. or just had a couple ....

funny, why do they sell them in six packs?

[goodboy]

6. It's no secret that a weekend hunting is a weekend partying...just not

when you're hunting. The night before you go out hell yeah. Can' take a shit in the woods without a hangover. After a good day? Hell yeah. BUT NOT WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY HUNTING OR GOING TO HUNT.

oh, and beer comes in six packs so you can have one each day and keep holy the sabbath.

[stepnw1f]

5. I Just Smoked Some Crack

and blew out three veins yesterday!:sarcasm:

or I just had a beer, awsifa..

[goodboy]

8. LOL! I dropped my stem in my crotch and it burned my

nuts...:sarcasm:

It's always ONLY ONE BEER! always

[Carni]

9. Oh no...

You must have grown up in the 70's lol

[txindy]

7. And only then because the alcohol smell is on their breath

Otherwise they'd deny even the "one" beer.

[goodboy]

12. ANd the "one" beer might just be a Colt .45 or in Cheney's case a

.28 guage

[Straight Shooter]

10. "It's only one beer and I can hold my liquor."

Braaaappppp. 'scuse me, Awzifuh.

[goodboy]

11. liquor? I hardly know her! (nt)

[Straight Shooter]

13. Bad boy!

:spank:

[goodboy]

18. Welcome to badboy's bar...Liquor in the front, Poker in the Rear!

[Straight Shooter]

20. I haven't heard that since I left Tennessee ...

Always made me kind of snicker. ;)

[goodboy]

21. my grandma told me this one....What are 3 parts o an old stove?

Like an old coal/woodburning stove?

[Straight Shooter]

22. Your grandma?

Jeez, I heard it from a lawyer. :7

[goodboy]

23. I haven't told it yet...3 parts of an old stove: Lifter, Leg, and Poker

[Straight Shooter]

26. I know, I know.

I heard that from a lawyer, too. :P

[VOX]

14. "Jesh whum beeehr, oshifur. **belch** Jesh whum lil' whum."

Classic drinker's ploy: minimize, and no one'll notice.

Sure.

[goodboy]

15. and try to discreetly pop 7 altoids or whatever gum you've got before

he gets to the window.

[NorthernSpy]

16. well, the woman who crashed into my father kept insisting...

... that she hadn't been drinking -- just a Pepsi and a glass of juice. I heard her say that when she was questioned right there where it happened. Actually, she said that more than once, kind of kept repeating it.

But they tested her, and lo and behold! she was well over the limit.

So, no: when people insist that they weren't drinking when they did whatever stupid-ass thing they did, I don't always believe them.

[goodboy]

17. first they deny it...then they'll admit to only 1 drink...(nt)

[bleedingheart]

19. if I recall Cheney has a few DUI's under his belt ....

he likes more than one beer...

[goodboy]

24. 2 Dewies, 8 months apart. 1962-63. Not that we should hold it against

him, but it does help give us insight into who Chenequiddick really is, and how his propensity for abusing alcohol, disrespect for the rule of law, and disdain for human safety have created the nightmare sub-human pond scum that is dead-eye dickaquiddick

[Lone_Star_Dem]

25. My friend and I in HS did a skit about that

The only had one beer offither is a classic. :D