Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:06 PM
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I fled my abusive husband and sought comfort in another. I became pregnant by my lover. Fearing for my life at the hands of my husband, I sought an abortion. With no options,my lover and I performed the procedure ourselves. While I lay dying, bleeding to death in my hotel room, my lover fled. A maid found my body the next day.
I am Rose Jimenez. The Hyde Amendment killed me. I couldn't afford an abortion and, thanks to Congress, much needed funds for women on public assistance, that could have allowed me a safe abortion, were stopped. I was 6 months away from my teaching credentials. I died from a botched illegal abortion.
I am Pauline Roberson Shirley. My husband was off seeking work in California while my 6 children and I were living with my mother. Times were hard. It was 1940. Being black didn't make it any easier. I started to hemorrhage after an illegal abortion. I bled to death while my mother searched the neighborhood for donors.
I am Becky Bell. I died in 1988. I was only 17. I was afraid of telling my parents I was pregnant. I didn't want to disappoint them. I wish I could have told them but parents, even the best of them, put a lot of pressure on their kids to be perfect. I know they loved me but it would still have broken their hearts to know their little girl was pregnant. "Good girls" don't do those kinds of things and all that. They would have been ashamed of me. Boys can just walk away but girls can't. It's just not that easy for us. How could I tell my parents that I let them down? I could have gone before a judge but people talk - and my parents would still know - so I had an illegal abortion. I got very sick and my parents took me to the hospital - and while I lay dying, the thought of hurting them - the shame I felt - was still too great and I couldn't tell my parents even then.
I am every woman who has ever been beaten, raped or murdered. I am the daughters yet born who will inherit the world from me. I am the little girl afraid of disappointing her parents. I am the woman who wants her own life and not the life others would dictate for her. I am every woman.
So are all of your mothers, your sisters, your daughters, your aunts....
To my brothers who cannot hear
Your crowning glory Your place at birth Must I be less to give you worth?
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Walt Starr
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:07 PM
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wicket
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:09 PM
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Ava
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:09 PM
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LisaLynne
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:10 PM
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4. It's frighteningly easy to ignore the fact that ... |
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we are talking about the lives of real women. This post brings that into painful focus. Thank you.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:13 PM
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9. It hurt so bad to type that out |
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I'm still in tears
Yes...real women..real lives. very real deaths
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LisaLynne
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:16 PM
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12. I was in tears reading it. |
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I can imagine it must have been doubly hard to type it. :hug:
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FreedomAngel82
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:10 PM
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5. You should write a LTTE |
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This post would make a really great one.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:54 PM
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24. I had to gain a measure of control before I could think |
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about what you suggested.
and I might do so at that...thank you!
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MadMaddie
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:11 PM
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6. Wow....leaves you speechless... |
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The women in SD won't have medical personnel to take care of them after these attempts because the Doctors and Nurses will be leaving the state!!!
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 08:29 PM
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52. Many doctors and nurses will |
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from fear of some retroactive action or because they want to continue helping women and now can't.
And what happens if a woman spontaneous aborts after a doctor's visit? does the doctor get hauled away for questioning? does the woman as well? can a man accuse his wife, that he wants to divorce anyway, of aborting a pregnancy that didn't exist (EPT's don't come with a paper trail and who saves the stick anyway?) or accuse her of aborting after a miscarriage?
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MuseRider
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:12 PM
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Thank you Solly Mack.
I do not want to go back.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 05:05 PM
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stop the bleeding
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:13 PM
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Horse with no Name
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:13 PM
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"You've come a long way baby" seems like so long ago...
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lukasahero
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:15 PM
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ronnykmarshall
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:18 PM
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13. That was very touching. |
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It's stories like these that need to be told.
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Pathwalker
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:18 PM
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14. A kick for Polly, my friend who died before Row V Wade. |
Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:20 PM
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15. I am so sorry for the loss of her |
Pathwalker
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:24 PM
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18. Thank you. I've never stopped missing her. |
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Edited on Mon Mar-06-06 04:25 PM by Notorious Bohemian
:hug:
Thank you Solly, for this important thread.
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roguevalley
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:22 PM
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16. I remember those days. I remember when divorce was ILLEGAL, |
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when contraception would get you JAILED, when abortion KILLED. Welcome to the fifties, my friends.
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niyad
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:23 PM
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17. with your permission, I am posting this to all my boards,w hich seem to be |
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overloaded with woman-hating trolls.
Thank you so very much for posting this--tears are still pouring down as I write this--we cannot go back to these evil times.
NEVER AGAIN NEVER AGAIN NEVER AGAIN NEVER AGAIN
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:26 PM
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19. The stories of those women belong to us all |
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Post them everywhere. Please.
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Career Prole
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:44 PM
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with two daughters. :thumbsup:
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:52 PM
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We owe them that - we owe all our daughters that
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geniph
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:47 PM
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21. OB/GYN wards used to be filled with septicemia cases |
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the women who were suffering from home or back-alley abortions used to outnumber the women in the hospital for routine gynecological procedures or births. And a horrible percentage of them died. We cannot go back. Outlawing abortion does not stop it. It never has. Throughout human history, women have found ways to terminate unwanted pregnancies. They will continue to do so; we'll just kill them if we criminalize abortion. We'll force them back to knitting needles and boiling water and back-alley butchers. But that fits right in with the real agenda of far too many of the anti-choice crowd, whose real goal is to regain control of women's sexuality and to punish women for exercising it.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:50 PM
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punish us with death if we don't obey
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MountainLaurel
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:55 PM
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Alternet did a story recently about the huge increase in girls and women coming into emergency rooms and family planning clinics in states where abortion is restricted and inaccessible after trying to induce abortion through such means as a baseball bat and a Chlorox douche.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:56 PM
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27. and it's going to get worse |
drm604
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:56 PM
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katinmn
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Mon Mar-06-06 04:57 PM
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28. What's next for American women? Burkas? |
Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 05:00 PM
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29. the demand for "homes for unwed mothers" will go up |
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some will be shipped off to a relative in the country - away from the eyes and tongues of the neighbors
Branded. Ostracized. Shamed.
For nothing more than being a woman.
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katinmn
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Mon Mar-06-06 05:08 PM
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31. If they're rich they can just go on holiday to a foriegn country |
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just like the good ol days.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 05:11 PM
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32. Yep..a few months abroad and no one need ever know |
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Still, to be forced from your own country, more especially the so-called "land of the free"
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Lifelong Protester
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Mon Mar-06-06 11:21 PM
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rich women, I'm afraid, could always have 'appendectomies'. It's all a part of the evil plan to not only reverse the gains of the women's movement, but to reverse the whole damn 20th century.
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Sapphire Blue
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Mon Mar-06-06 05:58 PM
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33. Or perhaps 'Magdalene' houses. |
Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:00 PM
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no doubt they'd get extra funding under the faith based initiative
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Sapphire Blue
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:11 PM
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35. They'd be fully funded by bush & run by sadistic bastards like Dobson. |
Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:13 PM
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36. That's all too real of a prospect |
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I can't think of the Magdalene "laundries" without my blood boiling.
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Sapphire Blue
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:27 PM
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38. Yes, it's a frighteningly real prospect. |
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I feel the same way about the Magdalene "laundries"... those 'sisters' deserve a special place in hell... as do all those who now aim to bring our society back to those times.
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babsbunny
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:21 PM
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37. I found out in January that my Son couldn't tell me |
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Edited on Mon Mar-06-06 06:28 PM by babsbunny
that His Girlfriend of a year was pregnant, they decided for an abortion. She being 17, and my Son 18, they were scared, but thought it through, and I am glad they had that option. I was hurt for many reasons, but I read your post and I realize we can't go back to back alley abortions! Oh my God! This world is getting so fucked up!
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:29 PM
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(((((Mom, girlfriend, son)))))
Often times children just can't tell - no matter how often they hear "you can tell me anything and I'll still love you" - they still worry about disappointing their parents. They want to save you from hurt as much as you want to save them. I'm so glad they had the option as well!
and sadly, some children can't tell their parents because: parents are abusive in one way or another or close-minded to the point it is abuse the father or some other family member rapes the daughter
It truly is so fucked up :(
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RagAss
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Mon Mar-06-06 10:04 PM
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61. and more will be killed by husbands and boyfriends.... |
schrodingers_cat
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:28 PM
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39. Hugs, beautiful Solly, and many thanks for the eloquence of your post |
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I was not old enough to have experienced this era, but am wise enough now to fight hard for this right. Planned Parenthood is fighting at the forefront of this battle, let's do everything we can to help them.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 06:31 PM
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41. Thank you, schrodingers_cat. Hugs to you too! |
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Yes! Support PP. Support NARAL. Just Fight!
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LuckyLib
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:33 PM
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42. See the film "Vera Drake" -- a powerful drama of the world of |
Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:35 PM
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43. Excellent suggestion! Painful movie - but a must see |
progressoid
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:40 PM
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ninkasi
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:49 PM
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45. Excellent post, Solly Mack |
meganmonkey
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:54 PM
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That is the most powerful thing I have read all day :hug:
Rec'd.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:57 PM
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proud patriot
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Mon Mar-06-06 07:59 PM
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 08:13 PM
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proud patriot
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Mon Mar-06-06 09:42 PM
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57. Thank you so much for posting this Solly Mack |
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Beth was the same age as me :cry:
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 09:52 PM
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58. They are us and we are them |
ClayZ
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Mon Mar-06-06 08:17 PM
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NastyRiffraff
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Mon Mar-06-06 08:25 PM
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51. I can't stop crying... |
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Thank you, Solly, for posting this. I come from a generation where women died (or were forever injured) by back-alley abortions. Yes, one could get a safe abortion if you had the money (a lot) for both a psychiatrist to declare that your mental health would be affected if you carried to term, and a doctor and hospital.
Few realize how bad it can get. And oh, the anti-abortion people? They'll still have access to those psychiatrists, doctors and hospitals. It's the poor (and middle class) who will be condemned to dangerous procedures.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 08:37 PM
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53. ((((((NastyRiffraff))))))) |
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I wish I could really hug everyone in tears tonight. To go back means death. Women and young girls forced to do desperate dangerous things - and it's already happening and will only get worse.
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farmbo
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Mon Mar-06-06 09:08 PM
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54. Well I am John McCain...and you are a criminal slut who I will imprison. |
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(Nothing personal, mind you, I just need to "track right" for my 2008 primary run. I'll switch back later just like I did in 2000...No worries)
Plus... the US Supreme Court will never really overturn Roe.
I Hope you understand.
:sarcasm:
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 09:10 PM
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Scout1071
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Mon Mar-06-06 09:39 PM
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S B
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Mon Mar-06-06 09:54 PM
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My great grandma aborted herself with a crochet hook and died leaving 3 children 5 and under without a mother in 1894. Is that what they want? That's what they'll get - and probably puff themselves up with "she got what she deserved". They make me sick.
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Solly Mack
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Mon Mar-06-06 10:00 PM
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60. Hi SB. Thank you for sharing your great-grandma's story |
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Real women. Real lives. All too real deaths that span across generations.
:hug:
Blaming the victim is what they do best.
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femrap
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Mon Mar-06-06 10:23 PM
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and that this post was the Number 1 Recommeneded. When driving home today and hearing that the asshole Governor of S. Dakota had signed that horrendous bill into law, I was simply floored....thinking that in the United States, a woman will be forced to give birth to a rapist's child. I am so overwhelming appalled....there are no words for my disgust of the nation I live. What's next? I am afraid I know....no Birth Control whatsoever.
Bush's War on Women continues....
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Behind the Aegis
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Mon Mar-06-06 10:28 PM
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Canuckistanian
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Mon Mar-06-06 11:52 PM
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Pictured here with her sister, I think.
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Solly Mack
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Tue Mar-07-06 07:07 AM
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79. Thank you for that picture, Canuckistanian |
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Real women. Real lives. All too real deaths.
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Czolgosz
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Tue Mar-07-06 12:43 AM
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memory
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Tue Mar-07-06 12:49 AM
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Its hard for me to think about how bad it could become. I still have hope that enough voices like ours will be heard and our rights are not taken away.:cry:
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renate
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Tue Mar-07-06 03:21 PM
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and what a beautiful user name you have! :hug:
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Swamp Rat
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Tue Mar-07-06 12:52 AM
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flvegan
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Tue Mar-07-06 01:31 AM
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69. I hope you'll see this |
KyndCulture
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Tue Mar-07-06 01:35 AM
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71. The police photo of Gerri Santoro.... We can NEVER let this happen again. |
flvegan
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Tue Mar-07-06 01:41 AM
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72. You're right. Never again. |
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Sort of why I posted my statement. WE can't let this happen.
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Solly Mack
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Tue Mar-07-06 06:59 AM
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76. I just saw it. Thank you!!! |
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It means a lot to me, what you said. Thank you!
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Katherine Brengle
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:17 PM
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:grouphug: Solidarity is where it's at.
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KyndCulture
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Tue Mar-07-06 01:32 AM
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70. From a woman who is alive and can type this because of legal abortion. |
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Edited on Tue Mar-07-06 01:32 AM by KyndCulture
THANK YOU!!!
I am so sick that we are doing this again....
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Solly Mack
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Tue Mar-07-06 07:19 AM
Response to Reply #70 |
80. From a woman who is glad you had a safe option and happy that you're alive |
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((((KyndCulture))))
Keep women alive. Keep it legal, safe, affordable and available.
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eridani
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Tue Mar-07-06 01:53 AM
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73. And another kick for all the women who have had miscarriages |
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Before Rove v. Wade, they'd let you bleed to death before doing a D&C for fear of being accused of performing an abortion. AFter 1973, not only did deaths from illegal abortion plummet, but also maternal deaths in general.
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Solly Mack
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Tue Mar-07-06 07:00 AM
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77. Yes!! And we will see those days again - if we don't stop the ignorance |
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and the fear and the hate.
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colinmom71
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:32 AM
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74. And yet, most of those so-called "moral" folks.... |
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Who oppose legal (and therefore safe) abortion seem to have no problem with anti-family and anti-working class policies that prompt some women to decide that they simply cannot welcome their own child into their lives.
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REP
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Tue Mar-07-06 03:13 AM
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75. Gee, Where Are All Those Crying Over Fetuses? |
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I can't help but notice that there are several posters who flock like flies on shit whenever the plight of the poor, poor fetus is hand-waved about are not seen here. "Woman? What Woman?" I can hear them whimper.
These were real, breathing women who could - and did - feel real pain and fear and terror and hopelessness. These are who I care about. The women.
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Solly Mack
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Tue Mar-07-06 07:02 AM
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78. Me too, REP. It's the woman I care about. It's her life that matters to me |
Katherine Brengle
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #78 |
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Yes, I care more about a living, breathing, independent woman than I do about a fetus.
Guess I am going straight to hell along with every other reasonable human being on earth...
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KyndCulture
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Tue Mar-07-06 09:53 AM
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81. one more kick for the best post of the year!! nt |
Catamount
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Tue Mar-07-06 01:51 PM
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82. Oh my God...I can't see through my tears--Thank you |
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Edited on Tue Mar-07-06 01:52 PM by Catamount
Anyone of these women could have been me.
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Uncle Joe
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:11 PM
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83. Kicked and recommended. |
Katherine Brengle
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:14 PM
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Just so sad and beautiful and sickening and poignant...
Thank you for this.
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cally
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:43 PM
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Come on America. Wake up!!! We don't want to go where we're heading. All of you who said the Repubs would never do this or this is just a woman's issue. Wake up. This is our life.
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QuettaKid
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #87 |
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I don't have any other words. just thanks.
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MamaBear
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Tue Mar-07-06 02:48 PM
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88. In my public school... |
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When a young woman became pregnant, she was forced to leave school as soon as it was known and before she "showed." She would be permitted back only if she did not decide to raise her child herself. If she decided to raise her child, she would not be allowed to complete her high school courses. This was in the 1960s.
Her boyfriend, on the other hand, never missed a class.
If the couple decided to marry, they both had to leave school. They would be considered a bad influence.
In college, we threw "rent" parties for each other to raise the funds. We told physicians we had acne problems (only it was better just now), or were irregular, in order for them to have an excuse to prescribe the Pill for us.
Abortions were after-hours, out-of-state. And always, cash up front.
Thanks for the reminder that things don't always go as well as it did for my friends, who (despite some infections) all survived.
Some of the guys were great about it. Others were not.
Let's not go back to those good old days.
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Solly Mack
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Wed Mar-08-06 10:43 AM
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94. My brother and sister-in-law just celebrated their 25th anniversary |
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they were married when she was 17 and still in high school. She went to school only to be told she had to have her husband's permission (because of her age) to withdraw or to continue - since he was now "responsible for her" - this was in the 80's.
This isn't about just abortion but about the attitude - the 100% hardcore misogynistic attitude that women are somehow less - and can't make decisions about their lives without some man giving his consent. However, abortion is directly related to that patriarchal attitude. Opportunities for women are directly related to that same patriarchal attitude.
Much like white privilege, where just by having white skin gives a person an advantage in a racist society, having a penis gives men an advantage in a patriarchal society. Men, regardless of their views on abortion or women, have benefited from sexism. They earn more on the whole - simply because they are men. They get insurance perks for viagra and such, simply because they are men. They had and have access to high paying jobs, simply because they are men.
No one would question a man looking for work in a mine - but let a woman try and she's laughed at and ridiculed.
Sure, there are jobs where men get laughed at by other men - but that's also the fault of a patriarchal society. The stereotypes of "woman's work" is because the patriarchal society forced those roles - it created those stereotypes.
Your post got me to thinking of the total issue. How abortion isn't just about a medical procedure ...but how it encompasses the entire sexist/patriarchal attitudes directed at women.
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kitkatrose
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Tue Mar-07-06 03:21 PM
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91. Every fucking person who voted for this POS legislation |
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in MS, SD, and those preparing to do so in other states needs to read this.
We are every woman
Damn straight! :grouphug:
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kitkatrose
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Wed Mar-08-06 10:22 AM
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tyedyeto
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Wed Mar-08-06 10:29 AM
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Solly Mack
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Wed Mar-08-06 10:45 AM
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stepnw1f
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Wed Mar-08-06 10:46 AM
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