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God has spoken to me and demanded I collect money from all

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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU
 
Tom Yossarian Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 09:38 PM
Original message
God has spoken to me and demanded I collect money from all
to build a spaceship to carry the saved into the heavens.

As was foretold, the Rapture is near and the number of those who enter the heavens is limited. these people shall be known as the saved, because they shall be saved from the major smite forthcoming.

And with the saved, I am to bring one of each worldly creature with the exception of the mosquito which he has told me was his one mistake.

The Silver chariot shall be 4000 cubits by 400 cupits by 100 cubits with a propulsion system to be declared after 247 Billion Dollars (US) are collected.

Only those who give 35% of their annual gross income shall be considered saved.





















Please send this to all republicans with a paypal link to the Democratic Candidate of your choice. This should assure us of more funds than have ever been seen before in any campaign.

I know it's mean to take advantage of them like this, but hey. We're protecting them from themselves.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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TomInTib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. I was going to ask if I could have your car until I scrolled down.
Damn!
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Tom Yossarian Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. The thoughts for this post came after I heard about three Norwegians
that are being extradited to the US for internet scams in which they played upon the ignorance of people.

My warped mind came up with this that I believe would work and could not be prosecuted because it would have the name of god associated with it.

It's Okay to scam if religion is involved.
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Flabbergasted Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
2. That isn't really fair because taxes already take a huge cut and that
would leave me with...................$4.97.
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Tom Yossarian Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. Then you are not a child of God.
All God's Chillun's gots money!
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northofdenali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. It all depends, Tom -
can I ride shotgun? :evilgrin:
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Tom Yossarian Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. You're first to call it!
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