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I grew up in NJ, and a sister of mine was living there until just a couple of years ago, so I know taxes are high and the cost of living is a bit higher than where I live in NH now. It's still hard for me to imagine how $110K leaves you with no disposable income.
How many kids do you have, if any? That obviously can make a big difference in how far your money goes, and that's not something I can comment much on.
I'm lucky in that I make $110K myself, and have no kids at all. I'm in a pretty strange living arrangement at the moment -- my ex-wife is living with me in a roommate sort of situation, ever since I let her move back in when she'd be out of work for over a year, a few years back. Considering she has a Master's degree, she gets paid spit, and adds only about another $35K more to our household income. Our finances are mostly separate, but I pay a bigger share of the household expenses. After that, my disposable income is completely separate and all my own.
I hardly consider myself rich, but I live comfortably enough, and certainly not from paycheck to paycheck. I save a lot of money, even apart from the 10% of my income I put into my 401k. I could safely go a year or two, even three if I were frugal, without a single paycheck, just drawing on my savings account. I have no credit card debt apart from whatever is on my cards from month to month, always paid off in full, and I bought my last car -- nothing fancy, just a mid-level Subaru -- cash.
The only debt I currently have is the mortgage on my house, with payments of about $1200/month. I've been making extra principle payments lately to get the mortage paid off faster. The regular payments include about $4500/year in property tax. I also pay a few hundred more for household insurance separately.
There are two main areas where I'm a bit lavish with my money: I like my tech toys, like new computers and big screen TVs, and I buy pretty much what I want when I want to. I also eat out practically all of the time (which earns the State of NH 8% tax on all of that), because both my ex-wife and I hate to cook. We could save hundreds of dollars per month just by eating at home more often (money my ex needs to be saving much more than I do).
I don't spend a lot on clothes. I don't spend much on travel or vacations (last year being a major exception, when I went on only the second big trip in my life, on a two-week tour Egypt and Libya, ending with watching a total solar eclipse from a camp site in the Sahara). I know a lot of colleagues at my income level for whom nothing but a BMW or Lexus or huge honking SUV will do -- which has to be new every 3-4 years, whereas I held on to my last two cars, another Subaru and a Honda Civic before that, for 9 and 7 years, respectively.
I don't participate in any expensive sporting activities. I don't redecorate my home every few years or buy lavishly expensive furnishings. Although I eat out a lot, it's seldom (practically never) anywhere very expensive. I don't throw big parties, I don't go out drinking and partying.
I have no idea of your particular circumstances -- so please, don't take anything I say here as personal, since I really can't comment on you specifically. As a general comment, however, I often get the impression that some people with decent incomes end up living from paycheck to paycheck because they spend as if they're obligated to live up to a certain kind of lifestyle, one which really isn't obligatory at all.
Considering what skinflints my parents were, I'm stunned and amazed at how lavish people with ordinary incomes often are when it comes to their children -- they have to have designer clothes, the have to have the best toys and video games and iPods, they have to have their own cell phones, they have to be able to participate in each and every sporting event and other after-school activity they choose to get involved with. If the kids are are teens, they have to have their own cars and have to to able to go to the prom in a stretch limo, etc.
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