Hodges: Women face many difficulties leaving abusive spouses

[Ian David]

Hodges: Women face many difficulties leaving abusive spouses
Corey J. Hodges
Article Last Updated: 07/13/2007 08:15:52 PM MDT

In an inexplicable series of events that occurred over the course of a weekend, professional wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife on a Friday, suffocated his 7-year-old son on a Saturday and placed a Bible next to each of their bodies before hanging himself on a Sunday.

A few days before the bodies were found in the Benoit home, Canton, Ohio, police officer Bobby Cutts Jr. was arrested for allegedly killing his girlfriend Jessie Davis and her nearly full-term fetus.

In both cases there appeared to be some indication of prior violent behavior.

<snip>

However, for many victims of domestic violence, abuse does not begin until after vows have been exchanged. In this case, I'm certain that a loving God would not expect a woman to remain in a marriage if her life and that of her children were in danger.

More:
http://origin.sltrib.com/faith/ci_6370063

[militaryspouse]

1. it's easy

to stay if the beatings aren't frequent.

[China_cat]

2. She's got to have some place to go where her

children can accompany her. Women's shelters are being defunded and closing. But more than that, abuse is never just physical. It's emotional. It's isolation from family and friends. The downgrading of the person until she totally believes that no one will ever believe her, even when they see the bruises. That no one else will ever love her. That she WILL die if she tries to leave.

And the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she is leaving.

[BlueIris]

3. When she's leaving or pregnant.

[Berry Cool]

4. Let us not forget the pressure she gets from her society and possibly from her religion

(at least some religions), if she has children, that she should stay home and take care of them rather than having a job.

No job means no money, and no money means no means of escape unless she squirrels some away from her husband's notice.

Even if she manages to escape, where and how is she going to find a job if she's spent years being a full-time mom? Will she be able to get one that can support her and her children? Good luck.

[Berry Cool]

5. Look at the responses to the article from these geniuses:

CarolB: 7/14/2007 8:25:00 AM

Wait until he goes to work, pack your stuff and leave. And don't ever let him know where you go. It's as simple as that. I did it to get away from an abusive spouse. There are many places abused women can go to get on their feet.

(Yeah, and it's bound to be as easy for everyone else as it was for you, right?)

mitchstein: 7/14/2007 8:57:00 AM

This old timers cry of women being homeless is nonsense. In todays world women work. and since they work they have the same responsibilty to provide shelter as do men.

(So I guess it's OK if the men are abusive, because then it becomes the woman's job to shelter her kids, right? And it's not like any women have ever quit working to care for their kids.)

If a woman feels threaten they leave, at least the responsible ones do, the cry babys and losers of society stay and get hurt.

(Yeah, right. Being battered and beaten is for irresponsible crybabies and losers. Lord knows a woman never hesitates leaving for fear of how she will survive financially, or because she once loved the man and foolishly believes he will change.)

In addition many more woman have abused the protections of these types of laws to get over on the men. They have cried rape when there was no rape, they have cried abuse when there was no abuse. If the laws get any more restrictive on men soon there will need to be support groups for men battered by the system and the abusivness of women.

(Oh, you are so right. Women are just going around all the time accusing innocent men of rape and abuse. It's an epidemic, and someone needs to protect these poor men whose lives are being ruined by "the system.")

It's just plain ridiculous to say that women fear homelness women are no feeble minded incapible people they are just as capable and just as equal as anyone else to protect themselves build thier future and raise a family.

(Right. It's not as if a woman who's been out of the work force for years raising a child can't just run out and get a job right away. There's nothing employers love more than someone who hasn't worked for years.)

it's just a matter of good verses bad decisions. and the ONLY process in leaving is to pact up your stuff and leave. Nothing more nothing less. if you feel afraid of someone just LEAVE.

(Yep. Everything is a matter of good vs. bad decisions. We can all prevent any bad things from ever happening to us through making sound personal decisions. That's pretty much what conservatives believe, isn't it? If bad things happen to you, it's all your fault and I have no pity. Go fix it yourself!)