The week that wasn't

[unhappycamper]

The week that wasn't
By Tom Keane | August 12, 2007


IN A DRAMATIC confrontation, Congress and the president battled over which branch of the government would be first to go on summer vacation. Initially it seemed Bush would succeed in making senators and representatives spend several extra weeks holding hearings on new legislation. But in a brilliant last-minute move, Congress passed without debate a bill giving the executive branch wide authority to wiretap phone calls and e-mails. Bush then had to stay to sign the new law while members of Congress quickly left town.

"Those legislators sure got the better of us," said a White House spokesperson, comparing Congress's victory to other times it had cleverly outmaneuvered the president, including approving John Roberts for the Supreme Court and granting Bush additional funding for the Iraq war.

Homeland security officials said, however, that while they appreciated the new powers, their efforts had already been surpassed by Google Street View, the recently unveiled online mapping program that provides detailed photographic information about nearly everyone's day-to-day activities. Operatives from the NSA reported they had already spotted a woman sunbathing in the nude, people picking their noses in public, and men entering adult book stores.

"These are just the kind of folks that are most likely to become terrorists," said a government official. "Especially that woman -- our guys now have her under very close surveillance."

A bridge collapsed in Minneapolis, killing at least six. After a visit to the site, President Bush was so moved by the tragedy that he promised not to send FEMA in to help.

Meanwhile, the Massachusetts attorney general announced a criminal indictment of Powers Fasteners, a small New York firm which had sold $1,300 worth of epoxy to the $15 billion Big Dig. "This just proves that we won't be intimidated by anyone," said a spokesperson for the state.


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