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This is a national crisis of super duper awful proportions ladies and gentlemen, closeted gay insurgents have infiltrated and sabotaged our very government, and have also infested our evangelical churches, from within, like a plague of locusts!
It never fails, he who crows loudest about those awful liberals and those awful homosexuals and those awful adulterers are HIDING THE MOST PERVERTED skeletons in their own closets.
They just can't keep quiet about how evil sex is, and how evil non believers are, they just can't be happy unless they're screaming in your face about Jesus and God and sin and prayer and piousness and about what an awful person everyone else is, and how only they are truly moral cause they got the bible to back them up.
They just won't shut up about family values and hyper morality because it helps to hide who they really are, morally rotten individuals, sickos, perverts who have to put on masks and pretend to be the holiest of the holy in public, and who are in reality deeply disturbed individuals.
Larry Craig is only the most recent example, Mark Foley before him, and a host of others are waiting in the wings, always ready to attack the Clinton's morality, always ready to round up homosexuals and throw them in camps, always ready with hatred, division, paranoia, distrust and racism, and always ready with a big show about how holier they are than we.
If the average American church going family only knew what really goes on in D.C among the highly connected and powerful, they'd fall out of their recliners in shock. Republicans never fail to use sexual scandals as bullets to politically assasinate their opponents, they can dish it out all day, but they just can't take it.
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