Quixote1818
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:38 PM
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Can losing a child kill you too? |
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Edited on Fri Feb-09-07 08:44 PM by Quixote1818
I had a friend who died of a heart attack within months of losing his son. He was in his late 30's and was as healthy as a horse.
Also, after my brother died, my Mother was never the same and she seemed to go down hill from there and died at a very young 70 a little over 10 years after his death.
Losing a child seem to be the most devastating, stressful experience any human could possibly endure.
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HiFructosePronSyrup
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:39 PM
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1. It's certainly not good for your health. |
Midlodemocrat
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:39 PM
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2. I hope never to find out. |
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Parents shouldn't bury their children.
But, in answer to your question, I think I would say yes. My grandpa died exactly three months after my Nana and I swear it was due to a broken heart. I think it happens.
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jumpoffdaplanet
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:43 PM
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3. Losing a child or a spouse is a major stressor |
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And when it happens to someone without even a meager support system, yes I believe it can be fatal.
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Lerkfish
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:44 PM
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4. I"ve lost both a spouse AND a child |
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I don't recommend it. the two lowest, most suicidal points in my life.
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nonconformist
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:48 PM
Original message |
Lerkfish
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:50 PM
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14. life goes on, It was several years ago. |
Quixote1818
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:50 PM
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13. How are you doing now? nt |
Lerkfish
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:52 PM
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16. I"m ok now, that was years ago. Slowly I overcame it, got remarried |
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and have beautiful boy born late in life.
but there's no way I would have believed that would happen way back then. I thought my life was hopeless. I'm glad I was wrong.
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Justitia
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
24. I can't imagine either loss, nevermind both. I'm glad you've been able to survive to have a family |
Madspirit
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:44 PM
Response to Original message |
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A year after my mom died, my dad, on the very day he signed the papers to sell the house they had shared, dropped dead of a heart attack. He was healthy and had never had heart problems.
Science has already shown that severe depression can lead to heart attacks. I don't want to have to google the links to the science but it's not hard to find.
A broken heart, can break your heart. Your resistance and immune system are affected, brain chemicals, hormones, the whole works. Grief/depression...not good for you. Lee
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Sticky
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:45 PM
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6. I don't know how I got through it |
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When my 7 year old son died, dying was all I could think about. I had support, other children and true friends to help me through it....if not I believe I would have died eventually from a broken heart - in whatever form that would take.
My heart went out to Anna Nicole when her son died - it's a suffering that has no description.
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nonconformist
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:54 PM
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18. My deepest condolences |
Sticky
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:04 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
Justitia
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:56 PM
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20. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I have a very sick son & been scared to death sometimes. |
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When we had close calls it felt like time had weirdly stopped and I was walking thru syrup. Hard to describe, but unreal. Fortunately, he is still here for the time being.
I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you went through. Was it very long ago?
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Sticky
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
33. It's been several years now.... |
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but the anguish can feel like yesterday. In spite of what they say, time doesn't heal - you just get used to the pain.
I hope your son remains healthy! Take care
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Justitia
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:18 PM
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35. Thank you and my best wishes to you too. -eom |
nonconformist
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:45 PM
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7. I truly, honestly believe that people CAN grieve themselves to death |
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I've heard of numerous stories about otherwise healthy people dropping dead within weeks or months of a loved one passing - usually a husband or wife. A good friend's aunt passed away a few years ago, and within 2 WEEKS her completely healthy husband dropped dead from massive heart failure. Many years ago, my grandmother died a horrible early death from cancer. Just a few years later, my grandfather had a massive stroke, leaving him paralyzed to this day. I completely believe that his enormous grief brought that on.
I know I personally can't even imagine going on after losing a child.
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Quixote1818
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
9. I have seen dogs grieve themselfs to death as well |
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They stop eating and lose their will to live, once their best friend dies. You offer them food but they just won't touch it.
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nonconformist
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:00 PM
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25. My great-grandmother's cat willed herself to die after my g-gma's passing |
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She was a very particular cat - the only human on Earth she'd have anything to do with was my great-grandma. After she died, the cat refused to eat and would wander around the house howling (crying). Within a couple of months, she was dead.
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Quixote1818
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Fri Feb-09-07 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
44. They say Cats look to their human owner as a mother |
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It was probably like losing it's mother for the Cat.
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az chela
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:46 PM
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8. My son died over 3 years ago and i am still so depressed that |
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Sometimes I stay in bed all day.I know a lot of us moms wish we could die too.
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Quixote1818
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:49 PM
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11. I dealt with my grief by turning to writing. |
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Do you have a good support system or way to channel the grief?
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Bunny
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:50 PM
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nonconformist
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:55 PM
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19. I'm so sorry for your loss |
Justitia
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:05 PM
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31. I am so sorry. I wish there was something someone could do to relieve you, |
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but I understand it may only be lessened by time.
My condolences & best wishes to you.
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havocmom
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:48 PM
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10. My sister developed cancer within months of the death of her son |
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She has recovered well, saying all the loving support she go made her feel positive she would be OK.
The saddness got better too. Still bad, but not as consuming now, three years later. She said she could feel the love and that helped.
Lots of people get very sick after a major loss.
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L A Woman
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:50 PM
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15. my grandmother died one year after her daughter died... |
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her daughter died suddenly at age 37, my grandmother was never the same...she spiralled downward. i have little doubt that this contributed to anna nicole's death.
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bleedingheart
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:53 PM
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17. It would kill me...I can't even imagine... |
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one of my friends lost a daughter at 3 from cancer...I went to the funeral...but I could barely stand to be there...it just broke my heart...
My great grandparents died within a week of one another. When great grand ma died...her husband just fell apart and he died a week later..they were old and had been very much in love.
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Wiley50
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:56 PM
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21. It's Like God Him/Herself Kicking You In The Nuts |
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and it doesn't even start to get better for several years.
I had to bury my 22 month old son who died unexpectedly and unexplainably in his crib one afternoon
The doctors called it SIDS for lack of any other cause of death
I was really crazy for several years
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nonconformist
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:05 PM
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tnlefty
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Fri Feb-09-07 10:26 PM
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43. I'm sorry for you and the other parents who have responded in this |
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thread. I had a boy who died the day that he was born and it was a strange grief that very few could understand. I had a son who was 18 months old at the time and it was the future and what I knew I would never share with my deceased son. The best descriptor that I can use is a 'very dark' year or so. I had to try to keep myself together in between my first son's naps, etc., so that he wouldn't see me sad, crying and angry.
Still brings me to tears at times. Take care all.
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Monkeyman
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:58 PM
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22. The Pain of a loss can kill, destory a mind and just plain hurt so deep |
smtpgirl
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Fri Feb-09-07 08:58 PM
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23. I agree, I tend to go on the guise |
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that Anna Nicole died an anniversary death.
I believe that Elvis died an anniversary death too.
She loved her son to death, and sad to say that her daughter will never know her.
I am indifferent about Anna Nicole Smith, but this whole story from the birth of her daughter, the death of her son and Anna's death is truly tragic.
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Quixote1818
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:01 PM
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26. I was struck by how devastated she was when he died |
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She looked absolutely in shock! Thats the one thing that keeps entering my mind about her death.
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nancyr
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
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I lost my husband to cancer and my 29-year old son in a car accident two years later. 13 years after my husband died I lost my companion of 10 years to cancer. Take it from one who knows....it all hurts, but my son was the most unbearable to deal with. Anyone who has been through it knows what I'm talking about. Yes, life goes on...but not the life I thought I'd be living.
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Tikki
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:02 PM
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27. My dear sister-in-law passed.... |
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three years after she lost her 20 year old son. She was in her early 50's.
Tikki
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Xipe Totec
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:05 PM
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The only thing that can keep you going is if you have other children to look after.
I am being absolutely serious.
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kstewart33
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
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I cannot imagine living if I lost one or both of my girls. I'm a strong person, I think, but that is the one thing I don't believe I would survive.
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riverwalker
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:13 PM
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I work in coronary care, and am a firm believer that a broken heart can lead, literally, to a "broken" heart.
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ayeshahaqqiqa
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:23 PM
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My grandmother lost her second son to cholera when he was 2 years old. She mourned for him the rest of her life--as did his older brother, who was 3 when it happened. To his dying day, my uncle could tell--in detail--what the funeral was like. He was a melancholy and angry man; my mother, who was born later, has always been sad as well, and I put it down to the whole family mourning for this lost child.
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Cabcere
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:26 PM
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38. My great-grandmother outlived all of her children |
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and her husband, and I know that was not an easy experience for her. My grandmother (my mother's mother) died at the age of 36 from leukemia, my great-uncle died in his 60s (I think) from a rapidly-spreading cancer (partially brought on by his struggle with alcoholism for much of his adult life), and I believe she had several other children who died relative early deaths. She was an incredibly optimistic and resilient person in spite of all this, but it did take a toll on her health, I think - she suffered at least one stroke and congestive heart failure when I knew her. I can't even imagine what it must be like to lose a child, much less all of your children, and my heart goes out to everyone who has experienced such a loss. :(
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Straight Shooter
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Fri Feb-09-07 09:32 PM
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39. Yes, it can. And even if it doesn't kill your body, it kills the light in your eyes. n/t |
Christa
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Fri Feb-09-07 10:00 PM
Response to Original message |
40. Being the mother of two boys |
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I cannot even imagine how it must be to lose a child, the heartbreak, the utter devastation; the feeling of complete loss - It will break my heart and I don't think I would want to live anymore.
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Horse with no Name
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Fri Feb-09-07 10:01 PM
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41. I honestly don't know how you get up out of bed the next morning |
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And I don't know if I could.
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DUgosh
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Fri Feb-09-07 10:23 PM
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I lost my 20 year old blind son is a senseless accident 19 months ago. It would have been very easy to give up, still somedays I don't want to get out of bed,
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Nay
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Fri Feb-09-07 11:38 PM
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45. It would kill me, that's for sure. I would never give a crap about |
blonndee
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Fri Feb-09-07 11:47 PM
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I wanted to reply earlier but have hesitated because of the cruel mocking that has been going on. But I'll just say from personal experience that when I was 17 and my baby died, I went into a state of shock that I can barely remember and grief that was so intense that I've blocked a lot of it out. I spent 3 months on the sofa in my nightgown, I know that much. I remember wailing in the hospital, and I know people brought me casseroles and flowers later on, but I only remember one face, and nothing of what anyone said. I remember sitting and staring and thinking I needed a shower but not having the least desire to move, or talk, let alone have the energy to get up and take care of myself in that way.
Maybe it would be even worse had my child been a toddler, or older, or whatever scenarios someone could cruelly compare as relative to mine. But I know how I was back then, and I can see how it could have killed me. Had I been much older, maybe it would have. Besides myself, though, I have seen people experience the loss of a child and now that I think back on it, I'm surprised that they DIDN'T die from it but somehow made it.
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