The banana - the atheist's nightmare

[jilln]

This is from a little pamphlet I picked up off the ground this morning (paraphrased for length):

"Billions of years ago a big bang produced a large rock, and sweet brown liquid formed on its surface. Time passed and aluminum formed itself into a can, lid and a tab. Millions of years later, red and white paint fell from the sky, forming the words "Coca Cola... 12 fluid ounces.

My theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the Coca Cola can is made, there must be a maker. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident, is to move into an intellectual free zone.

The banana - the atheist's nightmare

Note that the banana:
1. Is shaped for human hand
2. Has nonslip surface
3. Has outward indicators of inner contents: green - too early, yellow - just right, black - too late
4. Has a tab for removal of wrapper
5. Is perforated on wrapper
6. Biodegradable wrapper
7. Is shaped for human mouth
8. Has a point at top for ease of entry
9. is pleasing to taste buds
10. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can."

Obvious questions this pamphlet brings up:

1. Why aren't watermelons shaped for the human mouth?
2. What's up with okra?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. Banana peels are peforated?

[undeterred]

2. and works well for demonstrating the use of the condom

so God must have made it just for that :shrug:

[Avalux]

3. So what's up with marijuana?

I'd say true believers should embrace such a perfect way to relieve pain - there's no way it wasn't put on this earth to do just that.

[Warren DeMontague]

33. The human brain even has specific cannabinoid receptors.

Clearly, God spent some time at Grateful Dead shows.

[hfojvt]

4. it's even scarier

when they are in pajamas and bouncing down the stairs.

[jilln]

5. or singing about peanut butter and jelly!

[I_Will]

6. Hmmm...how about replacing "human" with "primate" ...

My guess is that the pamphleteers don't want to open up that topic, though (grin)

[rusty charly]

7. The phallus - the conservative's nightmare

Note that the phallus:

1. Is shaped for human hand
2. Has nonslip surface
3. Has outward indicators of inner contents
4. Is shaped for human mouth
5. Has a point at top for ease of entry
6. is pleasing to taste buds
7. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

[Lisa0825]

17. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

(I was going to use the :spray: smilie, but decided against it!LOL)

[jakem]

36. oh wait...

but the phallus is not for for oral use... right? i mean...

i thought it was made for the god given perfectly matching organ... the butthole-

thats what rev. ted told me anyway...


sorry, i should really self censor better!

[rusty charly]

37. there's an old joke:

If God had meant for two men to have anal sex, He would have put a hole there.

[Jonathan50]

8. What we call a banana is very much a product of breeding

They are bred to be seedless for one thing.

[piedmont]

42. I've had a seedy banana before...

It had a wonderful taste, but the large number of hard, pea-sized seeds made it completely unworthy of the effort of eating!

[blogslut]

9. Ray Comfort!

He really really really loves bananas:

[Warpy]

10. Okra? Try nopales

It was a brave person who scraped off those big spines to see if it might be edible, and a braver person who ate it without doing the desliming process that okra also requires.

And how about mangoes? WAY too big for the human mouth, thick skin that's impossible to peel without leaving your hands full of sticky mush, and a huge pit that is welded to the inner flesh.

Then there's the cashew nut. Oh, it's delicious, but the fruit from which it dangles is highly poisonous and causes the same dermatitis that poison ivy does.

Oh, and how about that poison ivy?

They might have had a better argument had they used the opium poppy, the coca bush or the marijuana plant, all species that affect specific receptors in the human brain but which other animals seem to leave alone.

[me b zola]

26. LOL, I was going to post coconuts

Wingnuts hate us for our coconuts x(

[vogonity]

11. I dont have a link, but someone must...

Have a link to that Kirk Cameron video.

[Emit]

45. Proof of God via a banana -- Here ya go

http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1146050948/Proof_of_God_Via_Banana

[Ian David]

12. Every banana you've ever eaten is the cloned product of intensive genetic manipulation by humans

Can This Fruit Be Saved?
The banana as we know it is on a crash course toward extinction. For scientists, the battle to resuscitate the world’s favorite fruit has begun—a race against time that just may be too late to win

“A Banana,” says Juan Fernando Aguilar, “is not just a banana.” The bearded botanist and I are traipsing through one of the world’s most unusual banana plantations, moving down row after row of towering plants and ducking into the shade of broad leaves in an attempt to avoid the Central American midday heat. In an area about the size of a U.S. shopping mall, Aguilar, 46, is growing more than 300 banana varieties. Most commercial growing facilities handle just a single banana type—the one we Americans slice into our morning cereal.

The diversity of fruit in Aguilar’s field is astonishing. Some of the bananas are thick and over a foot long; others are slender and pinky-size. Some are meant to be eaten raw and sweet and some function more like potatoes, meant for boiling and baking or frying into snack chips. But Aguilar’s admonition is aimed squarely at our northern lunch boxes and breakfast tables.

For nearly everyone in the U.S., Canada and Europe, a banana is a banana: yellow and sweet, uniformly sized, firmly textured, always seedless. Our banana, called the Cavendish, is one variety Aguilar doesn’t grow here. “And for you,” says the chief banana breeder for the Honduran Foundation for Agricultural Investigation (FHIA), “the Cavendish is the banana.”

The Cavendish—as the slogan of Chiquita, the globe’s largest banana producer, declares—is “quite possibly the world’s perfect food.” Bananas are nutritious and convenient; they’re cheap and consistently available. Americans eat more bananas than any other kind of fresh fruit, averaging about 26.2 pounds of them per year, per person (apples are a distant second, at 16.7 pounds). It also turns out that the 100 billion Cavendish bananas consumed annually worldwide are perfect from a genetic standpoint, every single one a duplicate of every other. It doesn’t matter if it comes from Honduras or Thailand, Jamaica or the Canary Islands—each Cavendish is an identical twin to one first found in Southeast Asia, brought to a Caribbean botanic garden in the early part of the 20th century, and put into commercial production about 50 years ago.

More:
http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/5a4d4c3ee4d05010vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html

[SoCalDem]

13. I've always wondered just HOW drunk the first person was when

they looked at an artichoke and said.. "Hey, I could EAT that thing".

[Phredicles]

22. It's probably more how hungry they were,

back in hunter-gatherer days, say during a drought: "Okay, either we eat the big pinecone-looking things, or else there's dirt. Hmmm..."

[poiuytsister]

38. I think that came about when someone said

"What the hell am I going to do with all this Hollandaise? HEY,what's this?"

[Bonhomme Richard]

14. Why aren't cows shaped like hamburgers then? n/t

[jilln]

24. The answer to that is obvious, they're not food!

[karlrschneider]

15. Kirk Cameron's "friend." He's obsessed with bananas. Probably with Kirk's too.

;-)

[Justitia]

25. LOL!

[PLF]

16. the straw man here is "happened by accident"

The banana didn't happen by accident. They simply don't understand the natural world.

[TroglodyteScholar]

28. Amen... n/t

[leftofthedial]

18. why doesn't veal grow on trees?

[zanne]

19. They're shaped for a monkey's mouth. nt

[Burma Jones]

20. Happy Darwin Day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Day

[Schema Thing]

21. Huh? Okra?

you don't eat okra silly. Okra is natures butt toy, obviously.

[Phredicles]

23. Okay, but this same "intelligent Designer" evidently made sex fun but

expects that we never, ever, EVER indulge in it except for the specific purpose of making babies. What's up with that, huh?

[Joe Chi Minh]

27. I heard that the atheists' ultimate nightmare - and it is surely coming -

is that with great difficulty they scale this high mountain, but when they reach the top, find that theologians have been there for centuries.

It was told by a rabbi on the same TV programme on which a Protestant minister ever so gently told the young atheist lady, when she asserted that Science, not the god of the gaps, would explain everything that seemed inscrutable now, that she had just made a faith statement...

Smiles all round - including from her, though somewhat strained.

[Solly Mack]

29. And Banana says

Bite me hard

[Zhade]

30. "What's up with okra"...

:rofl:

Indeed!

[Bluebear]

31. The pineapple - the Christian's "nightmare", if they must.

Ah, pamphlet mentality :rofl:

I love how they say this fruit is a "nightmare", as if an atheist doggedly does not WANT there to be a higher power.

[walldude]

32. There is actually video of this little tidbit on

Kirk Camerons website. It's downright hilarious. I wonder what they think of the Pineapple.

[Coexist]

34. Shaped for the human hand?

Wtf?

[eppur_se_muova]

35. Bananas might well be adapted for MONKEY hands ...

A banana carries seeds. Monkeys eat bananas. Seeds pass through monkeys' digestive tracts and are deposited in fresh monkey dung, a great fertilizer for banana seeds. SO ... if the plant that produces bananas is well adapted to being fed on by monkeys ... but only after reaching ripeness (seeds are ready) ... then that plant is more likely to see its genes propagated than other, less adapted plants. This is exactly how natural selection works.

A similar argument can be made for ANY edible fruit ... **WHY** is the plant "giving away" a nutrition-packed fruit which costs a good deal of energy to produce, and which seems to benefit the eater more than the plant? The answer is always that the animals which eat the fruit also ingest the seeds, leaving them dispersed in their dung.

Let's see the author of this pamphlet explain how Ebola is "perfectly adapted" to suit humans. It would seem the revers is true.

(Doublas Adams fans will find the story of the banana seed familiar.)

Oh, uh, "nightmare"? *Chuckle* What naïve simpletons.

[Beelzebud]

39. Oddly enough, it seems well designed for monkies. I guess evolution is true!

[Initech]

40. Logic and reason - the conservative's nightmare

[not_a_robot]

41. Intellectual dishonesty.

Wow, they just can't express themselves without deception. What is it about creationsist that make them such liars? Can they quote even one athiest that claims coke cans formed over time from aluminum? they can't because they made it up.

An athiests nightmare is a rabid creationist with wild eyes making fallacious arguments to strengthen some immortality fantasy. Oh and clowns.

[Saphire]

43. actually, my worst nightmare are asshat's like the one that thought of this.

[ProgressiveFool]

44. WTF happened with Mangos???

nt