I'm going to church today for the first time in a gazillion years.

[trumad]

My wife asked me really nice yesterday if I'd go---- she must have gotten me with my guard down cause I said, OK.

Now if I walk in and hear in whispered tones----GET OUT!.... I'm oughta there.

Please let there be no discussion of the Homosexual agenda or the old hands in the air, tongue thing.

It's Methodist so I think I'm safe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-snThiRoBQ

[tom_paine]

1. Please let us know how bad the Bushevism is, trumad

or if there was none at all, which would be a surprise.

[NotGivingUp]

2. Religion teaches sexism, elitism, and passivity and hides under the guise of holiness. n/t

[notadmblnd]

3. why does your wife feel you need church?

you probably won't be told to get out, but I wouldn't be surprised if you get stared at like you just landed on the planet.

[knitter4democracy]

21. She might be tired of sitting alone.

It's hard for wives whose husbands don't attend--there's all this family emphasis, but her family isn't there. It happens a lot.

[notadmblnd]

22. I thought they welcomed everyone with open arms?

not very christian of them not to make nice with fellow attendees.

[knitter4democracy]

24. Oh, they do. I'm sorry I wasn't clear.

It's that pastors do sermons on family, the mid-week service is often called "family night," and then there are the sermons for husbands and wives to love each other and submit one to the other, etc. It's hard for singles or married people whose spouses aren't there to sit through all of that and not feel a bit left out. It's not that the church isn't welcoming, it's more that the church is family-oriented.

[lynnertic]

4. so I see you like your religion served up cold.

It takes all kinds! :hi:

The philosophy and lessons of Christ are quite liberal.
I've been thinking about going back to church too, just don't know which one. It's kind of hard to tell from the outside, if I'll have fun and be happy and help others.

The Little Vagabond, by William Blake.


Dear mother, dear mother, the church is cold,
But the ale-house is healthy and pleasant and warm;
Besides I can tell where I am used well,
Such usage in Heaven will never do well.

But if at the church they would give us some ale,
And a pleasant fire our souls to regale,
We'd sing and we'd pray all the live-long day,
Nor ever once wish from the church to stray.

Then the parson might preach, and drink, and sing,
And we'd be as happy as birds in the spring;
And modest Dame Lurch, who is always at church,
Would not have bandy children, nor fasting, nor birch.

And God, like a father rejoicing to see
His children as pleasant and happy as he,
Would have no more quarrel with the Devil or the barrel,
But kiss him, and give him both drink and apparel.

Have fun!

[immoderate]

5. Do they serve cake and coffee?

I attend religious observances where the food is good. :)

--IMM

[Le Taz Hot]

8. Well, if you like beer

you can't beat the Lutherans. Nothin' like those church keggers.:toast:

[madokie]

6. good luck with that

[rox63]

7. The official position of the Methodist Church is anti-war, I believe

I think they've even disavowed * as a member of their denomination.

[gratuitous]

9. Well, God forbid (as the saying goes)

I surely hope you don't find a group of earnest, committed people dedicated to God and their neighbor's good. It will be so much more nourishing for your soul if you can sit back and nit-pick every little thing that happens, hoping against hope that you will walk out feeling as superior as when you walked in. "Serve one another in love"! As if.

[lonestarnot]

10. Have fun.

:popcorn:

[Sarah Ibarruri]

11. I've heard that the Methodist church is pretty cool....

Particularly United Methodist?

[InvisibleTouch]

12. Back when my mom used to drag me to church...

...I always had the distinct feeling that I had no business there. Not only did I not want to be there for my own sake, as I had better things to do and didn't care to be in the midst of a crowd of strangers - but I also felt like my presence was actually disruptive and detrimental to the genuine worshippers who did want to be there, even though I made no negative comments or indicators that I wasn't one of them. Just that we all would have been better off if I were elsewhere. Kind-of the equivalent of hearing a whispered "Get out!" :)

On the other hand, I do like to go into a church when no services are being held, to admire the candles, stained glass, and artwork. Empty church = very cool atmosphere. Church in session = "Get out!"

[Sal Minella]

18. And didn't the idea of praying out loud in a group seem odd?

I was always baffled at people apparently believing that God would hear them better somehow if they all said the words out loud together.

The Man-God in the Book they're supposedly working from told people to "go into your closet and close the door"* before praying. So I got the idea from the Bible that prayer was a private matter, between the beseecher and the One being beseeched.
=======================
* that's how I remember the old King James version -- I gave up on religion before the new translation came into common usage.

[Le Taz Hot]

13. Cool!

Could you do me a favor? Could you bring me back a virgin? This incantation I'm doing calls for one and I seem to be fresh out.

Thanks in advance. :evilgrin:

[mzteris]

14. Liar!

The Earth is only 6,000 years old!

[PollThis]

15. Ask her to meet you half way and the two of you visit a Unitarian church. nt

[Stuckinthebush]

16. Yes...good idea!

If I do say so myself.

:)

[TlalocW]

17. If your eyes start stinging when you walk in or

Your hand burns painfully when you touch a bible, you might want to just sit quietly and try not to touch or do anything. :)

TlalocW

[scarletwoman]

19. Just don't let them sprinkle any holy water on you. It burnssssss.... (nt)

[knitter4democracy]

20. Even my dad can handle the Methodist church occasionally.

I think you'll be safe. ;)

In the Methodist Church, it really depends on the pastor. Some pastors are really evangelical, throw-backs to the beginnings of the church, but most aren't. Most are pretty laid-back and stick to the liturgy and are pretty liberal and forgiving.

So, how was it? I had to miss church today (still feeling woozy from a biopsy last week), so how was your visit?

[bmbmd]

23. I beleive there is hope for the church.

Interesting albeit lengthy discussion in todays NYT-worth the read.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/magazine/28Evangelicals-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&hp

Great quote:"If you mix religion with politics, you get politics."

[B Calm]

25. The question now is, did trumad make it back alive?

[Bzzzz]

26. I'm sorry...n/t

[unc70]

27. Our sermon today: ZOE Ministry (African Orphan Endeavor)

Greg Jenks gave the "sermon", asking for our support of the ZOE Ministry which he started. ZOE is a NC Methodist-supported projectthat is focused on the millions of orphans in Africa, the majority orphaned by AIDS.

http://www.zoeministry.org

A podcast will be available soon on the church's web site: http://www.chapelhilluumc.org



Trumad, I hope your experience was positive. I might understand; for many years, I only attended when I visited my elderly mother or when someone was married or died.