How do I go about promoting the "homosexual agenda"?

[MLFerrell]

Hi all, I'm straight, but I figured that since I utterly loathe O'Reilly and all the rest like him, and they're always bleating about the "homosexual agenda" and the nefarious "gay plot" of Teleubbies and such, then I should go out of my way to help promote the "homosexual agenda".

Just one problem... I can't seem to figure out what the "homosexual agenda" is, and in fact, I'm starting to suspect that it's all predicated on a foundation of lies and sheer idiocy. But SURELY if all of these Republicans are talking about it it must exist, right?

:shrug:

Right?

So, anywho, if any homosexual DUers want to clue me in on their mysterious "agenda", it would be much obliged. Because if I can't figure it out, then all those Faux News talking heads must be making shit up out of thin air.

And what are the odds of THAT?
:sarcasm:

[blondeatlast]

1. Public toilets are for booty calls--wait, that's not it, that's the RRRepublicans... nt

[Earth_First]

2. BUMPER STICKERS!

Overtly, in-your-face bumper stickers!

:sarcasm:

[B Calm]

3. I'm not gay, but their agenda according to republicans is

that gays want to be able to get married like straight republican people do. Then there will be small gangs of happily married gay couples roaming city streets late at night and gang raping straight people, thus turning normal straight republicans into flaming homosexuals!

[madeline_con]

9. Don't forget the billboards with pics of

homosexual gays having sex with animals! :eyes:

[cboy4]

4. A big part of the agenda is conversion. Since we all

know being gay is a choice (because we like living a difficult life of discrimination and gay bashing), it's important to recruit straight people and talk them into becoming attracted to their same sex.

This can be accomplished the easy way: Simple negotiation.

Or it can be accomplished the difficult way: At gunpoint, using a taser, using pepper spray, or using a combination of hypnosis and chloroform, etc.

You know, being gay is like being in car sales. You're expected to move a certain amount of product every month in exchange for commission pay.

But instead of cash, our pay is in the form of anonymous sex since everyone knows all gay people are promiscuous and enjoy all form of public restroom "activity."

[LostinVA]

10. Well, all I can say is

I'm glad that Haruka is getting for her Firearms ID card. Think of all the new converts! We'll have the best toaster ever!

[Toasterlad]

5. Oh, Please. Like You Guys Haven't Tried THAT Before.

How do we know you're not a spy? We don't trust just ANYBODY with a copy of the Agenda, you know. :eyes:

[izquierdista]

6. You don't know??

Why it's posted prominently in every gay bar from West Hollywood to Key West. Not that I'm gay, I err, a friend wanted to go in one, yeah, that's it, this friend, he badgered me into going to one. Anyway, as you walk in, it's posted there right over the cigarette machine:

The Homosexual Agenda
1. Halloween to be declared a national holiday, plus the day after to get over the hangover.
2. Red, white, and blue to be replaced by mauve, beige, and teal.
3. Radio stations required to sign off with 'I will survive' instead of Star-Spangled Banner.
4. Tax of 70% on NASCAR gate receipts to support musical theater.
5. NFL to require all players to wear buttless chaps as part of uniform.
6. Paint Washington monument in a more healthy flesh tone.
7. Change "Don't ask, don't tell" to "top, bottom, or versatile".
8. Outlaw wire hangers.

I don't get #8 myself. :shrug: :shrug:

[Behind the Aegis]

7. #8

Watch "Mommie Dearest" and then you will get it. ;)

[soothsayer]

8. I never get my copy, and I'm a card carrying lesbo!

[LWolf]

11. Here's how:

Support candidates and elected reps who support and work for allowing 2 consenting adults of any gender mix or sexual orientation to marry.

:hi:

I know I just returned a serious answer to a non-serious post, but the level of bigotry and intolerance in our culture says that we still have work to do!

[keroro gunsou]

12. old link, but funny nontheless....

many moons ago i read a site run by the misanthropic bitch. she no longer blogs, as far as i know, but lucky for us, it's been archived. sometimes mean and offensive, this stuff is not for the faint hearted or those lacking a sense of humor...

http://web.archive.org/web/20010606214833/bitch.shutdown.com/homosexual_agenda.html