A Modest Proposal from your Department of Defense

[sss1977]

Dear KIA Veterans,

You may not have noticed, most likely because you're dead, but we have recently instituted a program of charging injured vets the cost of their enlistment bonus for being unable to fulfill the agreed upon terms. It's bad enough they want so much free health care after returning home, at least you had the decency to die and save us all that money.

However, money is money, and just because you saved us money by dying, doesn't mean you still don't owe us money for not completing the terms of your contract. Just as your debts don't just go away when you die, neither does your government. So we just wanted to inform you we will be charging your next of kin the cost of your enlistment bonus. Remember, there's a War on Terror out there, so every penny counts, except for the billions we don't track of course. But a penny is so much different than a billion, you just can't compare them.

Thank you for your service to the oil companies, I mean to your country and for freedom of course. However, just so we're straight, if your next of kin won't pay us what we are due, we will seek legal action against them. You can thank Gonzales for that.

You may be wondering how we got this message to you. Well, we'll just say, you don't send as many people wholesale to the other side as we do, without gaining some perks.

Signed,
United States Department of Defense