Freaked Out: Teens' Dance Moves Split a Texas Town

[question everything]

The Wall Street Journal

Freaked Out: Teens' Dance Moves Split a Texas Town
School Leaders in Argyle Banned Hip-Hop Grinding; Parents Back 'Good Kids'
By SUSAN WARREN
November 19, 2007; Page A1

(snip)

A new resolve by school officials in this booming Dallas suburb (Aryle) to crack down on sexually suggestive dancing -- and skimpy clothing -- has sparked a rancorous debate over what boundaries should be set for teenagers' self-expression. Argyle joins a long list of other schools around the country that have banned the hip-hop inspired dancing known as "grinding" or "freak dancing." But in Argyle, a once-sleepy farming community strained by explosive growth from an influx of well-to-do suburbanites, the controversy has gotten vicious. Some parents blame the newly installed school superintendent, Jason Ceyanes, 35, for ruining their children's October homecoming dance by enforcing a strict dress code and making provocative dancing off-limits. Disgusted, a lot of kids left, and the dance ended early.

(snip)

Many parents support Mr. Ceyanes's actions. But another vocal faction has been harshly critical of the new superintendent, creating a deep rift in the community. These parents defend the children of Argyle as "good kids," and say they should be trusted to dance and dress the way they want. Angry, Internet-empowered parents have searched public records to dig up personal details of Mr. Ceyanes's past, blogging spitefully about his divorce and his earlier marriage and fatherhood at the age of 17. In community chat rooms, some people were calling him a hypocrite and a power-crazed autocrat showing too much interest in teenage girls.

Supporters fought back on their own blogs, where one posted pictures of Argyle students in skin-baring clothing culled from MySpace and Facebook pages. "Check your kids profiles," the blogger wrote. "These are some of the pictures your little angels have posted on the World Wide Web." The post was later removed, and the anonymous blogger refused to discuss the matter or give his or her name in an email exchange, citing fears of retaliation. "We had several comments that were extremely threatening," the blogger wrote.

(snip)

The dancing dispute is proving tougher to resolve. "Our community needs to show these students how much we value them by not allowing them to devalue themselves," says Spencer Jefferies, father of a sophomore girl, who supports Mr. Ceyanes's efforts. Others disagree. "We never had a problem before," said one of the more outspoken parents, Barbara Roberts. She says she spent $400 for her 17-year-old daughter's dress only to have her leave the dance after a few minutes because it was such a dud. Students defend their style of dancing, blaming the disagreement on the same sort of generation gap that turned Elvis Presley's swiveling hips into a public controversy in 1956. Some Argyle teens say they realize grinding might look erotic, but they insist it's just dancing, not sex. "We don't think of it that way," says Ferrin Bavousett, 17. "When we dance, we don't mean, 'Hey, after the dance you want to go to La Quinta?'" referring to a nearby motor hotel.

(snip)


URL for this article:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119543673953997556.html (subscription)

[msongs]

1. that kind of dancing has been going on for millenia nt

[KittyWampus]

28. not in schools. It's dry humping. it's a damned shame kids don't learn how to dance

-as in actually DANCE.

[TahitiNut]

51. Well, I remember the "Dirty Chicken" in the 50s. Same deal.

Whatever goes around comes around. :shrug:

[varkam]

2. Oh the horrors!

Suggestive dancing? Tase them!

:rofl:

[annabanana]

3. Tch! Kids today and their crazy dancing.

It makes them lustful and makes them lose control.

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. Oh I love the Kevin Bacon game! What a fun idea!!

http://www-distance.syr.edu/bacon.html

[KingOfLostSouls]

5. grinding

is lame. it takes no skill. its for people who lack rhythm.

hmmm...suburbanite anglo kids from texas though...would be perfect candidates, haha

[Bucky]

6. I'll put my head on the chopping block here. I think school should limit sexually suggestive dancing

I'm a teacher, I've chaparoned several school dances, and I have a teenager myself. There are a couple of dance moves I've seen that amounted to dry humping on the dance floor. Most kids don't participate in it. The kids that do are not bad kids. But the schools serve in loco parentis and have and obligation to set, model, and enforce social standards. These are children who need a level of supervision when they get into large groups. My rule is to give 'em some space and enjoy themselves. But when the dancing gets too sexually suggestive, I think we owe it to the kids and the parents to reign it in and let them know they're going too far.

[KingOfLostSouls]

9. I'll agree

I'm under 30, no kids, none of that. BUT I have been a manager of a lot of teenagers and stuff. I got a nephew in middle school.

it makes me feel old when I'm like, "oh man it wasn't like that when I was a kid." but considering that was only 10 years ago, thats not a lot of time. I mean, when I was in high school I was a "bad kid" because I smoked pot. just about every kid today smokes pot, and cocaine is actually a big problem in local schools here. and kids today sure as hell aren't little angels. maybe I'm generalizing but since I left high school, kids adopted 50 Cent, X-Tina, and Pussycat Dolls as their role models. its not the same as it was 5-10 years ago. I mean yeah you got some real bright and active kids today. but you also have a whole generation of kids who are obsessed with spending as much as possible to look as cheap as possible. a whole generation who see the world as one big meat market, to be downloaded, snorted, all to a soundtrack of the lamest music in history. its kinda sad to be honest.

[Gin]

18. I agree with you Bucky!

g

[Debi]

24. I hear you Bucky! Mr. Debi and I chaperoned all but one of our son's

Jr. High dances (the administration took over the responsibilities when the kids got to High School). Our job was to wander the floor and 'keep the peace'. There were two kinds of trouble at our school. the kids who would get in a big tight bunch so they could 'get close' and the kids who thought 'slam dancing' was still cool. :eyes:

Mr. Debi only kicked one kid out in the whole three years (that's 11 dances x() b/c he wouldn't stop the slamming (slam dancing - not the other kind :blush:) But we did have to chastise and separate several couples.

[knitter4democracy]

27. I'm with you. I used to teach, and it's bad.

There's dirty dancing, and then there's grinding. Cut a couple holes in their clothes, and they're having sex in front of everyone. Oh, the kids say they're not thinking of sex when they're doing it, but we all know that's bunk.

Sexual activity is a private act, not a public one. Just because they see it on tv doesn't mean they need to do it in a high school dance.

[goodgd_yall]

47. I suppose it's healthy to have something to rebel against

And if the school forbids naughty dancing, the young 'uns will enjoy gettin' down and dirty even more away from the authority figures.

The style of dancing causing the big to-do is fine by me. When will older generations learn that the younger generation is doing the same things they did. We were nasty too when we were young---whether it was how we danced or what music we listened to. We older folks need to get off the judgment.

[Name removed]

7. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[WHEN CRABS ROAR]

8. This reads like a bad b movie from the fifties.

But whats with a 400.00 dollar dress ?

[Zookeeper]

11. It's for parents who treat high school like the be-all and end-all...

of their children's lives. I feel sorry for the kids who are getting the $400 dresses and limo rides, because it's likely that adulthood is going to feel like a real let-down, unless they can find someone willing to fulfill their sense of entitlement.

[LuckyLib]

12. No kidding. My daughter and her friends had a competition, "Who can find the cheapest great prom

dress." She won, $47. It was wonderful.

[kurth]

10. Why do they hate Elvis?

[Kali]

13. You punks get off a my lawn!!11

:rofl:

[QC]

14. Sounds like a story about McMansion scum taking over a small town and

attempting to impose their values on it.

That's the subtext here that no one is talking about, and I suspect it has a lot more to do with this conflict than a bunch of kids dry-humping to shitty music.

Argyle, a once-sleepy farming community strained by explosive growth from an influx of well-to-do suburbanites

[KittyWampus]

29. True, I also think there's a bunch of parents who resent the suggestion they should be disciplining

their children.

[QC]

35. Yep, it's something teachers know well.

Have a conference with the parents and you will learn that their kid is perfect and the only reason he stays in trouble all the time is that you, the teacher, are provoking him and all the other kids are jealous of him.

[xchrom]

15. man -- there are some really tacky and envy filled duers on this thread -- mcmansion scum --

what's with 400 dollar prom dresses -- comments about spoiled brats --

i didn't realize so many perfect people posted here.

the one thing i'm sure of is this -- people who post trash like that -- are plenty trashy themselves.

other than that -- for fuck's sake -- it's DANCING -- we danced dirty when i was highschool -- they were dancing dirty when the lindy was around -- and they will be dirty damncing in the future.

it goes with being young.

[BlueJazz]

26. I think the difference is that in all your examples of "Dirty Dancing"...

...in the past, the Teens ALSO danced other ways ...slow...for-trot...2 step.
They had a menagerie of dance styles.

Today's teens dance (usually) one way....Hump the Bacon.

[Celeborn Skywalker]

30. Who gives a damn though?

Do you really give a fucking shit if kids are dancing this way? It shouldn't be an issue at all.

[BlueJazz]

32. Do you really give a fucking shit if kids are dancing this way?

Yes...Because they are Kids and don't have the judgment or survival skills to live in this jungle we call Society ...yet.

[xchrom]

34. oh horse shit -- it's dancing.

you think as much or more about sex than these teens do.

i think the shrinks offices are open the day after thanksgiving -- in case you need to know that.

[BlueJazz]

36. It's really not about Sex....it's about doing what's appropriate at a ..

...school sponsored gathering.

The people who are up-in-arms about the restriction imposed by the school fail to understand that most folks
(Like myself) could not care less if the Teens/Kids danced any way they want to but if you/they/teens are in a Social gathering where normal dancing is expected....then don't make a fool out of yourself....if you're at a bar or a Concert...then fuck it...have Fun.
I'm going to my Boss's Party this Sat. I doubt seriously if I'm going to "Dry Fuck" my Date on the Dance Floor. It would be looked on as rather Low Class.

In Short...the "Dance Etiquette" is different, depending on where the dance is held.

[xchrom]

40. of course -- and these are kids -- and among each other -- they dance

the way they dance.

some few will humiliate themselves later in life -- didn't we all? -- and dance like fools.

but we learn all of this stuff as we go along.

[NashVegas]

31. We Danced Like Nuns Compared to "Freak" Dancers

It is simulated sex on the dance floor, and it's simply inappropriate. If the parents who complain about the ban ever actually saw it, they'd do a little freaking, themselves.

[xchrom]

33. lol -- i don't know about you -- but when i danced with a girl when i was young

it was simulated sex.

for fuck's sake -- no matter what -- it's dancing -- get a grip on yourself.
and let people be people -- this too shall pass.

[goodgd_yall]

48. Dancing is often like that

like simulated sex, or foreplay, or just "struttin' your stuff." Maybe because we're G/L, we have a different perspective. I'm with you---BFD.

[QC]

37. Envious of McMansion dwellers? No.

Just tired of people thinking that because they have a few bucks they can show up wherever they choose and bend everyone else to their will. Having seen two fine towns where I have lived wrecked by yuppie invasions, I can't help but sympathize with the people of Argyle, that's all.

[xchrom]

41. things change don't they?

no matter what -- they're just people and they have to live somewhere.

what ever development they live in -- they didn't choose to build it in argyle -- somebody else did.

but these are just people living their lives -- but here people talk about folks ''with a few bucks'' like bigots talk about a racial minority.
it's tacky.

now i'm all for killing sprawl -- and i wish TO GOD people had better taste -- but rich or poor or in between -- folk are just folk.

[QC]

42. Yes, the affluent just can't get a break in this country.

Those "racial minorities" have got nothing on the yuppies when it comes to persecution.

[xchrom]

43. you have an unreasoning and irrational hate of

people based on their houses.

what is wrong with you?

these are just people - but you have to attack them like a rabid KKKer lost in harlem -- get a grip.

who the fuck made you judge and jury?
you and the Decider must related, huh?

[QC]

44. Speaking of unreasoning and irrational....

Now we are likening people to the Klan and George Bush? How silly.

Here are my experiences. I once lived in a beautiful rural college town. The place truly looked like a postcard: Victorian houses surrounding a town square right out of Faulkner and miles of woods surrounding the town itself. It was a lovely place, not only pretty but also genuinely friendly.

Then it got "discovered." Hordes of yuppies and snowbirds descended upon the town. Some tore down those Victorians and replaced them with vulgar McMansions, complete with plastic architectural details. Others pulled down historic structures and threw up condo blocks that now sit empty. And those woods are gone, replaced with miles of subdivisions ringing the town on all sides.

Of course, that town is not particularly friendly anymore, since it is full of outsiders now. You can't get school funding votes passed anymore, as the snowbirds figure that schools are no longer necessary, since their kids graduated decades ago and their grandkids are back in Michigan and Ohio. Traffic is unbelievable. People who grew up there can no longer afford to live there. The place is a real mess now. It's almost enough to make we weep when I think what it was like only ten years ago.

Now I live in what used to be a beautiful beach town. There is still a beach, I think, but it is hidden behind a row of concrete monoliths stretching for miles down the coast, thanks to the "developers" and "investors." The locals don't have access to the beach anymore, but then they can't afford to stay here anyway, since the median house price is now about eight times the median income--Thanks, flippers! It's a pity, because this place really used to be paradise, but now it's condos and strip malls and subdivisions and nightmarish traffic and wall-to-wall snobs.

So, having seen twice what happens when yuppies invade, I can't share your hysteria over how mistreated they are. And I do think that this is probably the subtext of the story in Argyle, of which the sight of kids simulating doggy style intercourse on the dance floor is only one manifestation.

[xchrom]

45. aw -- your personal experiences have left you bitter. how sad.

i've already said that i oppose sprawl -- and i'll die waiting for people to have better taste.

in the mean time -- those are just people in those homes -- that's all.

you have simply attacked them for being -- it's a kind of bigotry.
and it is irrational and unreasoning.

[QC]

46. No, I have attacked them for their actions.

But I don't expect you to see the point, having watched you spend the past six years grasping at every opportunity to get all righteously--and dramatically--indignant so that you can scold people for not being as wonderfully enlightened as you. This is just more of the same.

Have you ever considered varying your schtick a little, though? Six years is an awful long time for the same old shit.

[xchrom]

49. ...

:rofl: i'm special -- what can i tell you.

and honey -- the only point you have is the one your vivid imagination keeps whispering to you that you have.

[KingOfLostSouls]

16. glass houses

stones.


ah I do so love the holier than thou types. "HOW DARE PEOPLE HAVE DISCUSSION AND SAY OPINIONS WE DON'T AGREE WITH!!!"

[noamnety]

17. Can't help wondering

how the same parents would feel if their son or daughter was dry humping their gf/bf in front of them while they were trying to make dinner. :)

If it's a school function, the school has a responsibility to set standards for behavior. As long as the standards are spelled out beforehand, and maybe that's where they went wrong, there shouldn't be a problem with false expectations. Nothing is stopping the families from renting a hall on their own dime, and acting as chaperones for their own kids. It's not the school staff's responsibility to provide a forum for kids to dry hump at, nor is it appropriate to require teachers to stand there and watch that as a job requirement if the teachers are uncomfortable interacting with their underage students while they are grinding on each other.

I am a teacher who refuses to chaperone dances. That's not what your tax dollars should be paying me as an educator to do, imho.

[TreasonousBastard]

19. I dunno-- every time I hear parents say...

"My kids are good kids" I cringe. Makes me think again about how it's so much easier to make a baby than to get a driver's license. And how all parents automatically know more about kids than people who went to school and stuff to learn about kids.

Anyway, a story oft repeated-- Yuppies move into a rural area and culture clash ensues. Who knows who's right or wrong on this, and who knows how it's gonna end.

Guaranteed to get uglier for a while until they sort it out.

[Lurking Dem]

20. Who spends $400 for a dress for a teenager?

Hell, I can afford it and I think it's nuts.

[sarcasmo]

21. Good ole Urban Sprawl.

[Canuckistanian]

22. Good thing my parents never had anything like the internet

I don't think they would have agreed with half the things I was doing.

[Debi]

23. Everybody cut - everybody cut

[BlackVelvet04]

25. I wonder how many people who are complaining watch

Dancing with the Stars?

Since I don't have a dog in this fight I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

38. The Waltz was quite scandalous in the early 1800's.

A young man could actually touch a young woman and put his arms around her!!!!

Sacre bleu!

The waltz was considered just as sexually provocative as what they're talking about here.

[Ron Green]

39. I don't completely agree with that.

Although the waltz was scandalous when it was introduced, it was done with grace and style, and was commensurate with gradually changing mores. "Freak dancing" has neither grace nor style, and doesn't portend a time when parents, teachers and other responsible adults will gladly accept such a display as part of normal dating or pair-bonding behavior.

BTW, Argyle hasn't had a "small-town" culture since the 1930's, it's just been a loose collection of farms and pasture. The development of McMansionville wasn't so much an invasion as a seepage.

[soothsayer]

50. Let them tango! Not supposed to be able to see any light between yer entwined bodies

if you do it right

[TahitiNut]

52. The tango - a vertical expression of a horizontal desire

You got it. If it AIN'T sexual it ain't being done right.

[Orsino]

53. Meanwhile, their classmates are killing and dying in Iraq. n/t