Why do those people do that?

[PurpleChez]

I hate catching myself asking questions that sound like "Why do those people do that?" First of all, it supposes an "Us and Them" division, while many of us on the prog/left side generally try to downplay labels that divide us. And, when the distinction involves race there is always the fear of being (mis)interpreted as a bigot. Second, taken one at a time, such questions (like the following one) often sound trivial. ("You spend your time worrying about THAT?") But I would rather ask the question, maybe get a meaningful answer--and perhaps gain some understanding--and then move on, rather than shake my head and think unflattering things whevever I see The Following Activity.

Ok...why do so many African-American males walk with their hands in their crotches, sometimes actually looking as if they are clutching their units? I teach in a middle school and I watch 6th graders walk the halls with their hands in their crotches. I've had to tell kids that I wouldn't talk to them until they "let go", simply because it was just too dang gross trying to hold a conversation with someone who was cupping his nuts a foot and a half in front of me.

I've been wondering about this for a long time, and I remember Eddie Murphy making jokes about it 20 years ago or more, when he still did stand-up. I've asked African-American coworkers (who *don't* walk around with their dicks in their hands) but they were as clueless as me. I seem to remember seeing Eminem lyrics in which he embraced crotch-grabbing as an aspect of A-A culture. Please tell me it isn't.

(signed)
clueless suburban white guy

[Bitwit1234]

1. I've never noticed.

[PurpleChez]

31. Really???

I have actually saved promo photos (from the local free entertainment weekly) of rap "bands" which involved half a dozen guys all scowling down at the camera (which, of course, is at ground level) while clutching their packages as if they were afraid they were going to fall off. I can go the library and watch one guy after another come in with his johnson in his hand. I REALLY hate hearing myself say "if I did that," but....

[shaniqua6392]

2. No harm in asking I guess.

I am not sure why it is done. Are they afraid it is going to fall off? Are they hoping that it will grow if they keep touching it? It must be a comfort thing....a security thing. I was born and raised in Detroit and went to school with and had friends who always did it. Since that was over 25 years ago I guess it is safe to say that it is not a new phenomenon in the culture. Signed, clueless suburban white girl

[PetrusMonsFormicarum]

3. Why do fratboys . . .

walk around in public lifting their shirt up and scratching their flab?

Why do women wearing low-cut tops and wonderbras get angry when they're objectified?

Why does anybody wear a ballcap backwards when it makes him/her look like a fucking idiot? You wouldn't wear you pants backward (oh wait, some hip-hoppers do).

[sweetpotato]

5. But grabbing at one's sex organs

really isn't the same as rubbing a flabby belly or wearing a provocative blouse.

It is suggestive of something else entirely - but then again - to me, a clueless middle-aged white woman, it looks threatening.

[AlCzervik]

4. why do some women wear tight jeans that cause muffin top, why don't they just buy a one size bigger

[madmom]

6. why do some men wear pants with their belly hanging over,why don't they buy bigger pants?

[AlCzervik]

7. see?

[Lex]

12. Because they think if they can still wear 34 waist Levis

even if they are hitting nowhere near the "waist" anymore (more like 'under the belly), then that must still be the right size!

[JuniperLea]

51. Grandpa called that "Dunlap's Disease"

When your belly dun lapped over your belt;)

[Joe Fields]

29. OMG...that's two tonight. Good thing I wasn't drinking anything

when I read that. "Muffin top?" I swear I must be culturally deprived.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Runcible Spoon]

56. NOW let me tell you about CAMEL TOES!

:evilgrin:

[Lex]

8. why do some women shave off their eyebrows, then paint them back on?

why do some men wear offensive t-shirts like "free mustache ride?"

[AlCzervik]

9. lol!

my Mom had no eyebrows, "Mom, whats the story there" "Shutup Dear" and that was that.

[Lex]

10. It's an interesting

phenomena to be sure! :hi:

I got the "stop asking so many questions" answer a lot from my parents!

[tjwash]

26. I can't even get an answer on that one from my wife who does it.

nt

[EOTE]

61. Have you even priced a moustace ride recently?

Back in the 80's, a nickel was the norm. Nowadays a gal has to travel to the seedier areas to get a moustache ride at that price. Free moustache rides help to depreciate the cost of a good moustache ride so that even a woman of more limited means can afford one. So take it easy on those guys, they're providing a valuable service.

[blondeatlast]

11. IBTL--but worth a DUzy if it survives. Why don't clueless suburban white males ask black men why

they do that?

Why do cluelss suburban white males listen to gangsta rap?

Why do suburban white women insist on taking their itty-bitty dog into stores? (I have no dog, but I'm definitely a SWW).

[Lex]

14. I'm a

40+ year old white woman and I listen to gangsta rap (but I do have sense enough to feel a little foolish when I do it).

[AlCzervik]

16. huh me too.

my sister looked through my music library and gave the WTF? look.

[blondeatlast]

18. Well, me too--but not out of my car at top volume.

:rofl:

[AlCzervik]

20. you those people that crank their system way up and when their behind you at a light

you can hear the pulsating? that used to annoy the shit of me and then one morning i had to hop out of my car for second and my stereo was on and from about 10 feet away i realized i was one of those people.

[blondeatlast]

21. Me--never...

:blush:

Pwned! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Lex]

25. I crank my tunes up in the car.

I get a lot of WTF looks from people if it has a heavy bass line. Mostly because they expect it NOT to be a gray-at-the-temples white lady. LOL.

[Catherine Vincent]

13. What makes you think DUers know?

[blondeatlast]

15. Why don't you ask one and get back to us with the answer? nt

[AlCzervik]

17. and please film it and put it on youtube.

:rofl:

[blondeatlast]

22. Yes, indeed... nt

[The Straight Story]

19. It's how they steer

:rofl:

[helderheid]

24. !

:spray:

[Karenina]

23. Rather than telling them it's gross

did you ASK the kids why? :shrug: I'd be interested to know myself.
I've seen British, Italian, Croation, German, Turkish, Swiss, South American etc. guys do it. Maybe it's a GUY THANG... :shrug:

[PurpleChez]

32. I didn't tell them it was gross

that would probably not be a constructive approach at school. But somehow I still think it's entirely OK to tell them (matter-of-factly) to let go if they want to engage in conversation.

[HughMoran]

39. It is appropriate to ask them to "release" for the sake of conversation

It is pretty rude - I'd be really hard on my child if they did something so entirely rude as this.

[PurpleChez]

43. Yeah...even if it's not a conscious act

it's still appropriate to insist that it be postponed in order to carry on conversation

[Karenina]

41. Still wanna know, why not ASK them?

[PurpleChez]

44. Can you imagine the potential repercussions

of a teacher asking a student why he's grabbing his crotch? It's one thing to subtly say "let go" or simply "your hand"--it's another thing to engage in detailed conversation about it. There may be appropriate avenues of study, but quizzing middle school students isn't one of them.

[Karenina]

45. Yeeaaah...

I thought about that after I hit "post message." :blush:

[PurpleChez]

47. Believe me, sometimes it is tempting

on this and many other topics, to ask the kids "What the Eff are you thinking???" But sometimes you just can't do it. Damn code of ethics.

[Karenina]

57. Would it make any sense

in your environs to arrange a meeting with the alpha male crotch grabbers and a black psychologist where the "behaviour" could be discussed in terms of appropriate public deportment, GENUINE masculine security and self-confidence?

When I was in the 8th grade the "in" thing was for the boys to to extend a cupped hand into your face saying, "EAT ME!" It was just obnoxious teenie stuff. They risked detention upon a complaint.

As I stated before, it's a common behaviour that knows no boundaries in my experience. I interpret it as threatening if I'm walking alone on the street. Rap making it "cool" has not helped...

[PurpleChez]

66. To me, at least, it's not that big a deal

Sure, I'll ask myself (and my fellow DUers) "Why?" and, sure, I'll smirk to myself and maybe even think something like "how silly". But it doesn't concern me enough to have a conference or anything like that.

BTW...I respect that you and other DUers have said that "everybody does it" or that it knows no cultural bounds, but my experience has been different. Whether I'm at school or at the mall or at the public library I can watch groups of half a dozen African-American boys and men with their hands not simply "in that area" but actually grabbing their thigh or their unit itself. I have just simply never seen such open, public dick-grabbing among other groups. In fact, elsewhere on this thread someone quoted rap lyrics enshrining nut-cupping as a symbol of the Black man's fight against Whitey's oppression.

[tjwash]

27. I want to know why my neighbor just bought rims that are worth twice as much as his car.

Every time I see them I think of Chris Rock..."THEY'RE SPINNING!!!"

[PurpleChez]

50. I was at a more urban school last year....

I'm a freaky liberal and all that, but I started to get really cynical about the spending habits of my kids and their families. I mean...I was supposed to remain ever mindful of their impoverished status, etc., etc., but some of those kids (maybe not most, but many) spent more money on new clothes in a month than I did (or still do) in a year. I could have bought groceries for the month on what they spent on new hoodies. "Ah...bronze $100 bills are out of fashion...time to switch to multicolored number nines...uh oh...now I need an M&M's NASCAR jacket...just be sure to leave all of the tags on it...."

[Lydia Leftcoast]

28. I always thought of it as a habit of pre-school boys

:shrug:

[Blue Diadem]

30. .

:rofl:

[HughMoran]

33. "white man done took everything else" - Richard Pryor ca. 1974

I always thought that skit was funny, but I would never have posed the question here!

[Alenne]

34. Why do some white people care

about silly and unimportant stuff some black people do. Why does it bother some white people when some black people do things they don't do. I can't figure out why some white people have nothing better to do with their time then worry about what some black people do that doesn't affect their life at all.

I personally don't have any black men in my family or friends that do it. But if I did why do you care.

[HughMoran]

35. I like touching my dick!

..and I'm part of the human race!

:rofl:

[Alenne]

37. I've never met a guy who didn't. nt

[progressivebydesign]

36. The OP cares because it's uncomfortable to have to talk to a 6th grader holding their johnson!

I think the question was asked with complete honesty.. as it impacts her in her job. I would also refuse to talk to a student who was grabbing their privates, or if it was a girl.. what if you were a male teacher and she was holding her breasts while you talked to her? It's a good question, and I think it's basically copying something they see 24/7 in music videos. The kids all want to be gangstas... We have a white kid, affluent, in our little neighborhood. He drives daddy's Hummer and mercedes convertible (he's not quite 16) all around the 'hood, and he listens to gangsta rap and daddy just bought an expensive subwoofer/bass system for both cars, and he wears the stupid baggy shorts and sideways hat. He thinks he's quite the gangsta, and it's uber funny to watch. They're just emulating what they see and hear in the media. The crotch thing is totally just unoriginal posturing.

[Alenne]

40. Who cares

Tell the kid to take his hand off his crouch. But why does that turn into a "why do black people do whatever the thing is some white person sees the few black people they come in contact with" thread.

As for the white kid in your neighborhood, whats so funny about that. Unless you're laughing at him "trying to be black or gangsta" when all he is doing is dressing in the latest style.

[PurpleChez]

48. What's so funny? Good golly!

I'm sorry, but I think it's hilarious watching good ol' boy rednecks with W stickers on their pickups, etc., etc., trying to pass themselves off as OG's. My Georgia home is a little more cosmopolitan now, but for some time I lived up in the hills, and it was hilarious to watch redneck gangsta wannabees circling the parking lot at Wal-Mart all afternoon. If that means I'm insensitive then so be it. My only question...when I first moved to Georgia ten years ago, the tricked-out vehicle phenomenon was probably at its (local) peak. I remember watching streams of these tiny miniature neon-colored pickup trucks cruising the circuit in Gainesville (GA). If they were any taller than my car it wasn't by much, and they rode so low that the kiddies had to actually drive around the speed bumps in the mall parking lot or risk bottoming out. But within several years those cars totally disappeared from the streets. But where to? It was almost as if an entire generation woke up one morning, realized that it had been a mistake to buy a neon-green Matchbox truck (scale HO), and hid them under their beds so that no one would ever see them.

[Elspeth]

63. Teachers care

Teachers have a role to socialize students so that they can succeed in a society where cupping one's balls is not an acceptable practice. Do you want these boys to become part of a permanent underclass because they have a cultural habit that makes their bosses wince? I would like to see these kids succeed, get real money, real power and real influence. How about you?

[NorthernSpy]

62. "her" job?

I think the OP is a guy. At least, that's what he said in his post.

[Elspeth]

64. Yeah, the OP is a guy. He mentions that

pretty clearly.

[PurpleChez]

67. Yeah...I'm a guy

[PurpleChez]

52. I acknowledged in the OP that it was trivial

But you have made more out of "Black vs. White" than I ever did. Yeah...this particular question involves Black males. Even though it too is trivial I am also fascinated by all of the good ol' boys and frat boy types who bend the bills of their ball caps into tight curves. By the modern phenomenon of "in memory of..." stencils on the rear windows of cars. I'm just interested in why people do silly shit. Silly, trivial shit. And when something of recent vintage seems to somehow become a part of ethnic or racial identity it's all the more fascinating. For instance, it is merely odd that it would become a trend to decorate one's rearview mirror with a decorative, non-functional compact disk (they have no center holes, but do have holes on the edges for hangers, tassels, etc.), but what is really interesting is how such things came to specifically be a part, seemingly, of Latino culture. (The disks are often decorated with latin american flags and Our Lady of Guadelupe.) Do I think poorly of Latinos who hang Blessed Virgin CDs in their cars? No. But am I interested in the practice itself? Heck yes. For whatever reason, heck yes.

"But if I did why do you care?" Being interested about why people do things shouldn't threaten you. Making assumptions and value judgements about those things, though, is another story, and as I just said I have no intention of going there.

[MrScorpio]

38. It's a form of machismo

Youngsters with misaligned values

[Elspeth]

60. Or misaligned something elses...

:evilgrin:

[ConfidentialStatus]

42. Perhaps they know what Lorena Bobbit did

The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies (Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies")

Come and listen to my story of a man named John,
A poor ole ex-marine with a little fraction gone,
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.

(Penis that is)
(Clean cut missed his nuts)

Well, next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' willie for a ride,
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
And tossed him out the window when she rounded a bend.

(Curve that is)
(Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

Then she wentto the cops and confesses to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get his wienie back,
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John's Wayne Henry that was waving in the air.

(Found that is)
(By a fence, Evidence)

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long,
So a Dick Doc said "Hey I can fix your dong!"
A needle and thread is all you're gonna need"
And the whole world waited til they heard that Johnny peed.

(Whizzed that is)
(Even seam, Straight stream)

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court.
With a cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquited him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

(Video, that is)
(Unexposed, case closed)
:)

[shanti]

46. www.yforum.com

try asking there, or maybe it's been asked already. the y-forum has been around a LONNNNNG time.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

49. Because if clueless suburban white guys did it, it wouldn't be cool.

:shrug:

[PurpleChez]

54. Ah, yes, but....

I'm assuming that there was a certain degree of tongue in cheek in your comment, but it still raises a point. Just lemme play devil's advocate here.... In my mind, if something is silly, it's silly regardless of the race of the person doing the silliness. If it's silly for a middle class suburban white kid to wear his pants at his knees it's silly for ANYBODY to wear his pants at his knees. Silly doesn't stop being silly just because of the demographics of the silly person. I'm willing to make exceptions for those things that are truely a part of one's cultural, ethnic, religious heritage, etc. (it would be silly, if not offensive, for me to go out wearing a tallit, but it is not silly for a Jew to do so.) Otherwise, I say "what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

[Blashyrkh]

53. This is why.

GRAB YO STUFF

People ask why I walk this way
protection first is all I say
I got it they want it
believe it, they’ll steal it
Some of them punks just want to feel it
When they see me grip with both hands
it’s a black thing they don’t understand

It’s true they want to take it all
so before they rip you ball for ball
Cup your hand and cover up
NWH say grab your stuff

Chorus
Grab it, you gotta grab it
Grab it
Grab it, you gotta grab it
Grab it
You gotta grab your stuff

Four hundred years and it ain’t enuff
Suckers still tryin’ to take our stuff
Stealin it, swipin it, rippin it, bitin it
they can’t grow it so punks try to heist it

NWH ain’t down with that
gotta look out for the black
When they start going for the family jewels
protect that gear by whatever tools
Cup your hand and cover up
Nwh say, grab your stuff

Chorus

Ladies this involves you too
stand by the man that stands by you
Help him, love him, need him, believe him
Plenty of others will try to defeat him

If your man is wit you
let no other make issue
When they try to take him down
you can keep him off the ground
Lend a hand and lift him up
NWH say, grab your stuff

Chorus

Rusty Cundeiff and LA Jay Bautista
© 1994 Pecot Music Co. (ASCAP) & EyeteeceeMusic (ASCAP)




Note: This is a parody song from the movie Fear of a Black Hat, a "Spinal Rap" if you will. The song is parodying the phenomenon the OP referred to, for all the humourless out there.

[PurpleChez]

55. Ah...the poetry of fondling your own nuts....

[Runcible Spoon]

59. OMG I fucking love that movie!

thanks for the memories!

[Blashyrkh]

65. No problems. Me and my buddies can quote scenes wholesale.

It's a great movie.

[NorthernSpy]

58. why are so many white guys into kiddie porn?

Every time you turn on the news -- bam! There's another one getting busted.

What's wrong with them, anyway?


:sarcasm:


:eyes:

[Javaman]

68. I have a tech that comes in to repair one of our machines from time to time...

He's a white guy. constantly grabbing at his sack.

WTF? is he checking that it's still there or that he's afraid it will run away?