Alan Keyes is a One Man GOP Freak Show

[BOSSHOG]

I'm old and slow so I'm just now getting to yesterday's news by listening to the rebroadcast of the GOP today on NPR. Keyes is a bitter, angry, hateful human being. We need to put Gawd back into school and ghouliani and romney are not real conservatives and everyone but me is wrong, wrong, wrong. And romney says reagan about as much as rudy says 9-11.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find out whats going on today, but I'm so glad I didn't miss the performance of the star of the gop - alan keyes.

[kwassa]

1. I love me some Alan Keyes

What other political candidate is so hopeless but has such great entertainment value?

He apparently lives within a couple miles of here, in Maryland, and has never held any elective office in this state, no matter how small.

He is totally alienated from his lesbian daughter, by the way, and she from him.

[yardwork]

11. Yeah, he threw her out when she was a teenager because she's gay.

That's some Family Values right there.

[Lilith Velkor]

54. Actually, he threw her out because she's an anarchist

But being gay and vegan didn't exactly help.

[Kahuna]

42. Me too. I always record his debates. He's highly entertaining.

:hi:

[bryant69]

2. Keyes really isn't any crazier than Duncan Hunter or Tom Tancredo

He's not that much crazier than Mike Huckabee.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[BOSSHOG]

3. but much more animated and much more angry

[bryant69]

33. Well that just adds to the entertainment factor. n/t

[BuyingThyme]

4. There's got to be some big money in a sitcom or cartoon series.

[gatorboy]

9. Maybe Faith Mouse could use another sidekick. n/t

[Bitwit1234]

5. Oh you'all leave him alone he thinks he is a one man candidate

candidate for this, candidate for that....just tell him what you need a candidate for and he'll run.

[BOSSHOG]

6. I had to chuckle

He kept implying that he was being ignored and people in Iowa should ask why that is. My question would be why is he not ignored more, why was he even in that debate? One of the commenators after the debate said Alan Keyes gets up in the morning, says he's running for president and people have to pay attention to him. Chucklehead. And he was appointed to a position by reagan. Don't need to add anything to that.

[NNN0LHI]

7. You are old?

What do you consider old?

Be gentle. I'm 52.

Don

[BOSSHOG]

8. I'm way older then you Don

I'll be 54 in May. Actually 54 is the new 36.

[yardwork]

10. I'm glad to hear that because I am closing in on 50 in a couple of years.

and I don't like it.

[BOSSHOG]

15. Hey

its just a number my Dear and the 50th makes for a cool birthday party. My wife is older then me by two years and she was traumatized when she turned 30 but its been a piece of cake ever since. However, when my Dad was 54 I thought he was incredibly ancient, over the hill, finished. I look forward to each day.

[yardwork]

22. Those are very good points, as usual, my dear BOSSHOG.

I'll start planning that half-century birthday party now!

[BOSSHOG]

27. Just let your friends know you want it to be real big surprise

I was really "surprised" when I walked into our favorite watering hole on my 50th. Wow, how did they know??

[yardwork]

30. LOL! Gotcha.

[kineneb]

49. so? I will be 50 in August. 50 is not that old.

I intend to have a Red Hat birthday party and have my hair dyed with streaks of red and purple. Right now my hair has bright pink streaks.

In my family, I am merely approaching middle age. The dearly departed ones lived into their late 80s and early 90s. Mom still skis (downhill).

[gratuitous]

52. 50 in August? Fossil

I'll be 50 in September. Along with Madonna and Michael Jackson.

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. I'm 36. What does that make me? :^D

[BOSSHOG]

16. I think 36 is the new 27

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. sa-weet!

[BOSSHOG]

20. But I think ya have to give back all the birthday presents in between

[NNN0LHI]

25. First you give the lady the good news then you give her the bad

Why you dirty bird you.

Don

[BOSSHOG]

31. Early stages of dementia

I know not what I type. I prefer Dirty Hog!

[GreenPartyVoter]

35. Uh-uh no way nuthin doin. I got me some good loot during those nonexsistent years

[NNN0LHI]

14. You really know how to hurt a guy. I will be 53 in March

No I am just kidding. I feel pretty damn good for my age. I don't feel old either. Maybe I should?

Don

[BOSSHOG]

19. I partied

for 50 years worth through my 30's, then became a health nut in my 40's, retired from the Navy and am now multing to some extent. I'm in pretty good shape except the knees and the ankles which I put through hell in the 90's when I was running a hundred miles a month. I don't feel old at all, but physically I do have limitations and I drive a helluva lot more defensively then I did 30 years ago.

[yardwork]

21. Defensive driving - yeah, that is definitely kicking in.

I wish that defensive driving gene activated sooner - my teenager worries me sick behind the wheel.

[BOSSHOG]

23. Another example of youth wasted on the young

I think its a good idea I am not a parent because I would be way over protective. I would have locked my daughter in the basement till she turned 40. I would not be a very nice father in law. Yeah, when I was 19 I was Superman, indestructibe.

[L. Coyote]

13. I caught a news clip and felt sorry for him on a personal level as I rolled on the floor in my pee

LMAO ! :rofl:

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

18. yet MSNBC felt the need to give him a shot at a show a few years ago

meanwhile Noam Chomsky is virtually banned from television.
Liberal media, my ass.

[UTUSN]

24. Hey!1 Alan is doing us a favor. He's got the Rethugs in their own hypocritical trap.

The Poppy trap. Poppy originated the Clarence THOMAS gambit, whereby the Rethugs find wingnut minority stooges to fill spots, supposedly trapping Dems into having to oppose somebody from one of our constituency groups.

There we were, all flat footed and embarrassed, knowing we had to oppose the reactionary a-hole, but fearful that we would be offending the constituency group.

Finally, Chuck SHUMER went on the offensive over Shrub's nominees like Miguel ESTRADA: We don't oppose you for being a Hispanic----we oppose you BECAUSE YOU ARE A WINGNUT!1 It don't matter what group you come from, just the WINGNUTTINESS is all there is. Don't matter if you're a puppet, just that you're a WINGNUT!1


So here we have Alan KEYES, wittingly or unwittingly, springing the trap BACK on the Rethugs: Everybody knows they don't want him there. They've let his presence in the past be a token in their pathetic pretense of inclusiveness. They would never let him have a Veep nomination or something like that. Just letting him spout off in the debate format was enough.

But now he's getting on their nerves. HaHAH!1

[opihimoimoi]

46. Ya got sumpthin there....like Alan is a Token Black thingy???

[ProfessorGAC]

26. That's He Said About Obama In The Senate Race

How'd that work out for him? He took the worst beating in modern federal election history. That'll teach him.
The Professor

[Swamp Rat]

28. HAHA!! Geaux Alan Keys!!!

:rofl:

[Skittles]

29. his eyes freaked me out

they look like the kind of eyes we get only if we, say, find a pubic hair in our soup. :o

[CottonBear]

37. See post #36! n/t

[wuushew]

32. Alan Keys will always have my respect for accepting Michael Moore's moshpit challange in 2000

His best showing in the presidential primaries was in Utah, where he received 20 percent of the vote.<35> In one memorable incident, Keyes jumped into a mosh pit of youths body-surfing to the music of Rage Against the Machine, in a challenge by Michael Moore's television show The Awful Truth – and at the urging of his daughter.<36> Said Keyes, "They had this movable mosh pit with people in it ... and they were challenging folks to sort of take a dive into the mosh pit. And I did not even know what it was, to tell you the truth, to show you how lacking I am in knowledge of the times. But my daughter and my wife understood, and there I was, trying to decide. The security guy, who goes around with me, you should have seen his face. He was definitely not pleased." The incident was a colorful talking point of the 2000 Republican primaries

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Keys

[rzemanfl]

34. He always reminds me of the lawn jockeys I used to see in the

'50s. Except nobody would trust him with their horse. It should be evident from this post that I am old too.

[CottonBear]

36. Hey BOSS! Check this out! ( warning *graphic* )

Courtesy of Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog:

I have a theory: Huckabee is paying Keyes to "campaign" so that he seems less crazy in comparison. And indeed, Alan Keyes was hilarious in last nights battle of the stars. The New Republic called his appearance ludicrous, but I call it delicious! Best of all is the National Review's encounter:

I jumped in again. “Ambassador, I’m going to ask you one more time. Have you personally been doing campaign events here in Iowa in the last few months?”

“I have had several campaign events here in Iowa, but I will not define those events as you do,” he said.

“In the last few months?”

“I don’t define those events as you do. And I don’t think you have any right whatsoever to establish yourselves as the arbiter of what constitutes an event. I will do that in a way that reflects the best needs and purposes of the people who are working with me. Because as I see it, every time somebody comes forward and takes the pledge, that’s an Iowa event.”

I love you, Alan Keyes! Please don't ever change.


More! Here's the New York Post, which described the debate as a train wreck:

The big embarrassment was ex-Ambassador Alan Keyes, who hasn't been at any other debate - and looked at many points like he'd have to be removed from the stage by security.

And the Seattle Times (these are the conservative papers!):

Although Keyes' opponents mostly ignored him, he was on the attack from the start.

"These folks represent the very elite who, year after year after year, have destroyed our Constitution, betrayed our rights and undermined our strength created by our people in the world," he said.


And, OMG, even humanevents.com makes fun of him:

But it was the presence of Alan Keyes, without an organized campaign and with no level of support in Iowa, who provided the exclamation point on the afternoon. Having let him in to the debate, the Des Moines Register host then had to deal with him -- and his insistence on not being skipped in questioning and his longwinded, irrelevant speechifying. By comparison, Ron Paul was the model of decorum and common sense.


John Dickerson at Slate calls Keyes a "self-obsessed, bullying, petty, scold," and seems to give credence to my thesis that Keyes is a ringer for Huckabee:

To the extent that Keyes was a beneficial force, the benefit went to Mike Huckabee who is running as a second generation social conservative candidate.

http://sparklepony.blogspot.com/2007/12/alan-keyes-delights-in-latest.html

:rofl: :hi: ;) :rofl: :hi: ;) :rofl: :hi: ;) :rofl: :hi: ;) :rofl: :hi: ;)

[BOSSHOG]

38. Bless His Heart

A Huckleberry-Keyes ticket. Wouldn't that be sweet? Or keyes as Secretary of State. He'd set the whole planet on fire. Hate with the passion gawd gave you.

The wife is dragging me to New Orleans this weekend, gonna eat at Pralines: fried shrimp, mustard greens, potato salad and corn bread. Poor, poor pitiful me. I slipped down there last month and got her some nice artsy craftsy New Orleansey type stuff for Christmas. I'll be a hero again.

[CottonBear]

40. Lucky you! You're making me hungry!

I'm lucky that a NOLA family opened up the Big Easy Cafe in a town near Athens.
This past summer they had a big crawfish boil: it sure was good eating!
Have fun eating and shopping in NOLA!
Y'all take care and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

CB :hi:

P.S.: :scared: A Huckleberry-Keyes ticket is a terrifying thought. :scared:

[NNN0LHI]

39. That hard on the eyes man

I needed sunglasses to view it.

Don

[CottonBear]

41. LOL! I did post a warning! The lightening bolts are a really nice touch

but the eye thing really makes the picture!

Keyes is totally batshit crazy. He makes Huckleberry and Tancredo seem sane in comparison. :(


BTW, I'm a girl! ;)

[Stinky The Clown]

43. Slight correction, BOSS .... "Alan Keyes (is) 'always has been' a One Man GOP Freak Show

He's been that way for decades. Here in Maryland, he's been an entertainer ..... er .... perennial candidate .... for years and years.

[graywarrior]

44. He sort of popped out like a giant sebacious cyst oozing all over the stage.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

45. He is priceless, isn't he?

"I'm angry, I'm stupid, and I'm running for President!"

Did you see his diatribe in the spin room afterwards, when he was confronted on the whole why-was-Kucinich-excluded-but-not-you thing? He's like an even more pissed off version of LaRouche.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

47. If you stand Fred Thompson next to Alan Keyes, he looks even more slow and sleepy

almost comatose.

[MasonJar]

48. He made Obama's senate race easy; for that I am exceedingly grateful.

[lonestarnot]

50. K for the headline, but no r cause you said gawd.

! :rofl:

[Avalux]

51. He's a shining representation of the freak show that is the GOP.

They're all freaks. :hi:

[Chovexani]

53. Don't forget when he was on the Awful Truth

He was the only Repuke candidate willing to get into Michael Moore's mosh pit.

[blondeatlast]

56. I remember that! I had to Google it, sadly, no free video, but here's MM's

report:

http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?messageDate=2000-01-28

[blondeatlast]

55. Alan Keyes: a dolt that keeps on giving.

I mean a GIFT! A GIFT that keeps on giving...

[Grandrose]

57. I am conflicted......

As a African-American I am embarrassed for Keyes cartoonist insanity!:eyes:
As a Democrat I am ecstatic he represents Republican hypocrisy and tokenism!:rofl:

[blondeatlast]

58. He doesn't represent you any more than David Vitter represents me.

I'd say they both belong to none of us--and all of us.

Enjoy the show! :hi:

[JI7]

59. the Keyes Obama Senate debates were very funny also

[-..__...]

60. Borat, Barr and Keyes...

"Are you trying to tell me that man who tried to put a rubber fist up my anus was homosexual?"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH12txKRhmE

:rofl: