The Christian Dating Service.

[Buzz Clik]

This is such a curious ad that adorns our site:



Are there Christians who are afraid to meet singles who aren't Christians? Are they afraid of what the product of this procreation might be? Do single Christians no longer go to church? It used to be that the easiest way to get ... acquainted ... with another single was to go to a church and make it known you're single.

So strange.

[Mythsaje]

1. And Christians join for free!!!

As if a non-Christian would pay for the privilege.

:shrug:

[CT_Progressive]

2. Christian Dating Service: "No Sex Until You're Married" Now over 2 members!

2?

Not a typo.

[walldude]

3. Certified Christian?

And how does one get this "certification"? Is there a waiting list for certification inspection? And what happens if they catch a Jew on there? You know, lots of jews walking around these days claiming to be Christians... :eyes:

[Buzz Clik]

7. There's a written exam and a lab practical.

The exam covers the standard stuff -- New Testament, Who Do Christians Hate -- that kind of stuff.

The practical is the corker. You have to perform a minor miracle: walk on water, heal the sick, raise the dead, feed the multitude, or (by far the most popular) a clever card trick.

[BOSSHOG]

15. Are there any oral exams?

[Buzz Clik]

16. Dude, you keep asking questions like that, and you'll NEVER be certified.

But it's an interesting question.

[timtom]

33. You mean like

Michael Savage?

Bob Dylan?

[DFW]

4. You never know. I married a Christian

Well, she retired soon after we met, and before we got married,
but she Christian was once upon a time.........

[Labors of Hercules]

26. telling, your digression into yodaspeek is... nt/

[DFW]

29. Guilty as charged

Comes from trying to write in English, talk to my mother-in-law in German,
and hold a phone conversation in Russian at the same time. I'll learn to
cut it out one of these days.

I promise you, my laptop is much better at multitasking than I am.

[BOSSHOG]

5. How does one become a "certified" christian?

Certified by whom? For what reason? SAFE christian community? I guess that means there actually are unsafe christian communitys?

CHRISTIANS JOIN FOR FREE. Is that somewhat discriminatory?

[Buzz Clik]

13. Having been raised a Christian, and raising a family of Christian children...

... I missed the "certified" part. I don't recall, however -- does one get a certificate upon going through confirmation? I don't think so.


However, I did a quick search in the Innernets Tubes, and found this:

Cumming Christian Counseling



Richard is the vice-president and director of the American Association of Certified Christian Sexual Addiction Specialists (AACCSAS).

http://www.cummingchristiancounseling.org/staff.htm

Hot damn. errr. (sorry for that). Way to go, Richard! That's great work if you can get it!

[gatorboy]

34. huh huh

...cumming...

[Warpy]

Notice that "safe" is bolded

which means that Christians are less likely to beat you up, rape you, or give you some sort of loathsome disease than non Christians.

Yeah, right.

[NMMNG]

6. Certified Christian

I wonder how they "certify" them. :shrug:

[AspenRose]

8. "Certifiable" is more like it

and I'm a Christian.

[DFW]

9. No clue. Maybe they way they certify other stuff?

A big blue stamp saying US Certified Grade A ???

(uncertified agnostic here)

[Silent3]

10. It's so hard sometimes out here on the intarnets...

...to distinguish deliberate parody from unintentional, sincere absurdity.

The "CERTIFIED CHRISTIAN" stamp combined with the come-fuck-me (in God's name, only after we're married!) models -- it's almost too funny to be real. But it probably sells, at least to the intended target audience, which I imagine is a much larger demographic over at freerepublic.com than here.

[YOY]

11. I can one up you...

All niche marketing to idiots who think that once it's certified it's a better thing.

[LeftyMom]

14. I want one of those biblical loans- interest free and the debt forgiven after 7 years, right?

Or, as usual, did the Christians neglect to actually read the book that's propping up the sofa?

:eyes:

[NMMNG]

19. Me too!

:evilgrin:

[knitter4democracy]

31. Now there's an idea I could get behind.

I want a Jubilee year, too. :)

[NMMNG]

18. Funny, but so few of them know that verse

Considering all the $$$$$$$$$$$ they seek/have. (Fallwell/Robertson/Dobson et. al.)

[LanternWaste]

12. Ha! The Singles Department at my church consists of... me

Ha! The Singles Department at my church consists of... me (my church is octogenarian oriented...).

Ok... I'm not the only one-- there's actually about nine of us, but if you knew some of these dingbats and yahoos, you'd actually consider a dating service.

Now, if only I could get that ninety year old hottie in the pew in front of me to take a gander at my goods, we'd be on! :evilgrin:

[blogslut]

17. The answer is very simple

Online dating services make a lot of money.

[BurningDog]

20. +1

For every segment of the population, you can find a crappy cookie cutter niche dating site for it like that one.

see: http://www.democratsingles.com/

[blogslut]

21. no doubt

:)

[Buzz Clik]

22. Exactly. And they are never abused.

One can rest assured of how "safe" the service is because Christians would never certify a pervert, rapist, or opportunist. Would never happen.

[TreasonousBastard]

23. What's the problem? Would you rather that hot blonde or..

Sgt. Snorklette on the military dating sight advertising at the moment?

[Jokerman]

24. So, if I date a "Certified Christian"...

...and she has sex with me out of wedlock, will her certification be revoked?

[Buzz Clik]

27. Dream on.

Do you really think you have the stuff to blast through a chainmail chastity belt?

[knitter4democracy]

32. No, but she might want to get married right away.

:)

[donheld]

37. Was Ted Haggard "certified?"

Was that certificate revoked? :shrug:

[Ezlivin]

25. Jesus! I'd like to "know" her in the Biblical sense

Give me a call, righteous babe. I'll help you work on your testimony.

Now I see why Jesus is going to come again.

[Buzz Clik]

28. Oy.

Yer gonna burn, dude.

[knitter4democracy]

30. There is a verse saying Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians.

"Do not be unequally yoked" from St. Paul.

That's why there was always a whiff of desperation amongst the single seniors at our Christian college. ;)

If you go to a small church, there often aren't very many singles your age. If you went to the church college but didn't get married, it's easy to think you've lost your best chance.

It's not about the kids--it's about the marriage. If a practicing Christian marries a non-Christian who hates church, doesn't want anything to do with the faith, and refuses to let the Christian raise the kids in his or her faith, that makes marriage harder than it already is. It's about compatibility in faith, nothing sinister.

What's cracking me up is the picture. Um, yeah, they have tons of chicks that hot on the site, and she's sooooo Christian-looking. :rofl:

[Marrah_G]

35. I don't find it odd at all

I prefer to date other Pagans and even more preferably other Wiccans. If spirituality is an important part of your life why wouldn't it be something you would hope to share with your signifigant other? Christians are no different then other people who hook up on the net with common interests.

But more importantly....why do you care?

[Buzz Clik]

36. Why wouldn't I care? Shouldn't I care?

It's part of being a part of the planet -- you pay attention, and some things are bound to puzzle you.