***DUzy Awards for week ending December 21, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Dec-21-07 11:24 PM
Original message

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring prodigious pratfalls, peevish pentimenti and pristine pandemonium from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The hypnagogic DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to BleedingHeartPatriot, bear425, Kurovski, AZDemDist6, bicentennial_baby, scarletwoman, krispos42, temeah, KamaAina, dicksteele, eridani, Peake, Patsy Stone, Buzz Clik, stellanoir, CaliforniaPeggy, TheDoorbellRang, hootinholler, unhappycamper, Warpy, Tuesday Afternoon and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

OP by ruggerson:

      I would kind of like a President who did a whole mess of acid when he was a kid
instead of blow.

But that's just me.

response #20 by mtnsnake:

      I think our next president should smoke, joke, and drink coke with the old folk
:smoke:

response #29 by Sparkly:

      okey-doke.
;)

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GDP, December 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3840010

On a thread by hnmnf:

      OMFG...Fred Thompson response to AP asking him what his most prized possession was...
My Trophy Wife

Just saw it on Hardball.

response #3 by napi21:

      Awe shit, the guy just wants to get lucky tonight! n/t

response #13 by MonkeyFunk:

      ew
I bet he shoots dust when he comes.

response #23 by hisownpetard:

      EEEEEYEW. Thanks for the visual on that.

response #12 by Happyhippychick:

      I thought it was "viagra".

response #40 by Progs Rock:

      His strawberry flavored cereal.

GDP, December 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3838652

On a thread by NorthernSpy:

      Strange beams of light streaming from the earth in Maine
"Between 10 and 11 p.m. Thursday, Bangor police and Penobscot County sheriff dispatchers received several calls describing shafts of yellow and white light that extended from the ground to the sky.

Additional sightings of an orange glow over northern Penobscot County also were reported.

A meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Caribou said there was no meteorological explanation for the lights..."

response #6 by Botany:

      E.T. is here for the Clam Chowda and Lobsters

response #8 by China_cat:

      Stephen King trying out ideas for a new book?

response #10 by Donnachaidh:

      Stephen King still live near Bangor?
It's the DEADLIGHTS, dude! :rofl:

response #16 by Countdown_3_2_1:

      Earth Defense Force vs RODAN!

response #20 by JohnnyLib2:

      Quick, call Pat Roberson!
This could be it, end times.

response #30 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

      Signals to Elvis that his gig at the Penobscott Bowling Alley has been cancelled?

response #33 by Kucinich4America:

      How close is this to Kennebunkport?
Might be the Romulan war ship coming to take Poppy back home.

response #42 by DFW:

      An orange glow? Linus was right!!
The Great Pumpkin is coming at long last!!

response #60 by Beelzebud:

      The U.S.S. Eldridge is coming home!!!

GD, December 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2474058

On a thread by greiner3:

All right, which one of you guys wrote this one?
http://dickipedia.org/index.php?title=Rudy_Giuliani

Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani (born May 28, 1944) is a lawyer, businessman, former Mayor of New York City, and a dick. He is, naturally, currently seeking the Republican nomination in the 2008 United States presidential election.

A Democrat and Independent in the 1970s, Giuliani was considered a socially liberal Republican in the 1980s and 1990s, at least if you don’t count attitudes toward black people. Giuliani does not like black people. His current run for president has made it clear that Giuliani has no core political ideology at all, except an insatiable thirst for power.

Giuliani gained international attention during and after the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center, as he is sure to mention every time he opens his mouth. For instance, if Giuliani is at a restaurant and he wants the eggs, when the waitress comes to take his order he will say, “I’ll have the eggs. Also, I was the hero of 9/11.” It is the cornerstone of his campaign. Without 9/11, his campaign would have to go with, “Giuliani: He’s a Loathsome, Power-mad Lunatic,” which, many political observers note, is generally considered not to be an effective electoral strategy.

After finally leaving office as mayor, Giuliani founded Giuliani Partners, a corrupt security consulting business; acquired Giuliani Capital Advisors (later sold), a corrupt investment-banking firm; and joined the Bracewell & Giuliani law firm, a corrupt law firm.

Whoever it was, why did you have to be so kind to the asswad?

:rofl:

response #5 by Kucinich4America:

That's good.
Is that another open editing site? If so, might want to screen cap it before some neocon shit for brains "revises" it to make Mayor 9u11iani into the 911th com11n9 of Jesus 911 Christ.

GD, December 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2475263

On a thread by DemocratSinceBirth:

      I Liked This Board Better When We Were Bashing Republicans

response #54 by lumberjack_jeff:

      I liked being a democrat better when the Republicans deserved it more. n/t

response #103 by Kurovski:

      I've never liked this board due to its lack of live, online cage matches.

response #118 by ruggerson:

      btw
did you steal my atavan again?

GDP, December 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3842192

OP by bob_weaver:

Anagrams of the candidates' names
Mitt Romney - Met in my rot.
Rudy Giuliani - I hog up urinal lid.
John McCain - Jam, no cinch.
Mike Huckabee - Kick me, eh, beau?
Duncan Hunter - Nude ranch nut
Ron Paul - Oral pun
Tom Tancredo - Not democrat!
Fred Thopmson - Forms no depth.
Barack Obama - Arm a boa back.
Hillary Clinton - Lint I call horny!
Joe Biden - I need job.
Christoper Dodd - So, drop. Ditch herd.
John Edwards - Jars when odd.
Mike Gravel - A veg milker.
Dennis Kucinich - Chick inside nun.
Bill Richardson - Rhino drills cab.

GD, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2478309

On a thread by TalkingDog:

      Festivus pole proposed at Green Bay City Hall
"The request by Sean Ryan of Allouez was made during the weekend after Green Bay City Council president Chad Fradette received the go-ahead last week from the city's advisory committee to install a nativity display at City Hall...

A practicing Catholic who would prefer to see no religious displays at a government office, Ryan said his request to put up an undecorated six foot aluminum pole was intended to showcase how deciding what religions to include in the display can turn to the absurd..."

response #3 by scarletwoman:

      The Airing Of Grievances ought to be great fun!
The Feats Of Strength will probably be pretty entertaining as well.

Festivus for the rest of us! :toast:

response #6 by Trajan:

      Ah .... It's a Festivus miracle !
Yadda yadda yadda .... for the rest of us ....

LBN, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3104058

On a thread by Ishoutandscream2:

      The term "Freeper"
I know about Free Republic, but I still need to ask. There are so many that I work with (and who I consider friends) who vote Republican no matter what, and still fully support Bush. Even though they have no idea about Free Republic, they would still go under the heading "Freeper." Am I correct about this?

response #8 by Webster Green:

      Correct! They need not ever visit the dark site to qualify..
It's more of a brain malfunction than a browsing history.

response #14 by Downtown Hound:

      To me, there are various traits that define a freeper
For starters, yes, you have to be a Republican and fully support Bush. But it's a little more than that. You also have to believe that posing for pictures with your firearms is the height of manliness, even though the only thing you've ever shot with it was a defenseless animal. You have to display xenophobia towards certain types of immigrants, preach the word of The Good Book while relishing every Iraqi that dies as a victory against terrorism, eschew everything and anything that might be environmentally friendly, believe that Republicans are the party of fiscal responsibility even though every Republican president in the last 50 years has been the exact opposite of that, and in many cases, but not all, display extreme difficulty in spelling basic words.

If your co-workers display any of those traits, then yes, they're probably freepers.

response #21 by uppityperson:

      Freepers. It's not just an attitude, it's a lifestyle!

GD, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2481406

On a thread by George II:

A gentle reminder of forum rules...
LET'S PLEASE STOP BASHING DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES...

response #3 by Old Crusoe:

I'm sitting on a story about Chris Dodd, angel dust, and sex with aliens, and
you post this admonishment about forum decorum?!

Damn. I can't catch a break.

GDP, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3846082

On a thread by Akoto:

Japanese scientists create mice with no fear of cats
"Tom and Jerry just wouldn't have been the same if it had featured one of Ko Kobayakawa's mice.

The Tokyo University professor has just unveiled mutant mice that have lost their innate fear of cats.

Rather than flee or freeze when confronted with their feline enemy, the mice sniffed and even played with them, blissfully unaware of the potential dangers.

Kobayakawa developed the fearless mice by shutting down receptors in their olfactory bulb - the area of the brain that processes information about smells - which would normally induce panic as soon as they get so much as a whiff of a cat..."

response #2 by sniffa:

this is just the first step in creating the army of super mice
they're technically not breaking their pacifist constitution, but we can't take the chance that they'll achieve their goal. sanctions through the UN Security Council may be in order.

GD, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2478648

OP by Solon:

      51nc3 50u7hp4wk1ck3r w3n7 7h3 12 y34r 0|d r0u73. |375 5h0w h1m h0w 70 74|k |1k3 7h3 h4ck3r5 w3 4r3!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C72YCou1UY&feature=related
:hi:

response #1 by RushIsRot:

      Damn! I just sold my decoder ring on eBay!

response #2 by Tuesday Afternoon:

      I thought your cat had taken over your keyboard.
:D

response #4 by Solon:

      No, the last time the cat took over my keyboard...
She typed: "Feed me you pathetic shit, or I'll kick your ass."

:scared:

response #9 by Southpawkicker:

      W4Y D0 U H8 M3R1CA?

response #47 by krispos42:

      Since southpawkicker went the 12-year-old route, let's show him how to talk like the hackers we are!
Hmph. Trying to give the NSA fits, are we?

-.. --- -. .- .-.. -.. / .-. ..- -- ... ..-. . .-.. -.. / .. ... / --. .. ...- .. -. --. / - .... . / .--. .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - / .... .. ... / -.. .- .. .-.. -.-- / -... .-. .. . ..-. .. -. --. .-.-.- /

.... . / -.-. --- -. -.-. .-.. ..- -.. . ... / -... -.-- / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. ---... / .-..-. -.-- . ... - . .-. -.. .- -.-- --..-- / ...-- / -... .-. .- --.. .. .-.. .. .- -. / ... --- .-.. -.. .. . .-.

... / .-- . .-. . / -.- .. .-.. .-.. . -.. .-.-.- .-..-.

.-..-. --- .... / -. --- .-.-.- .-..-. / - .... . / .--. .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - / . -..- -.-. .-.. .- .. -- ... .-.-.- / .-..-. - .... .- - .----. ... / - . .-. .-. .. -... .-.. . .-.-.- .-..-.

.... .. ... / ... - .- ..-. ..-. / ... .. - ... / ... - ..- -. -. . -.. / .- - / - .... .. ... / -.. .. ... .--. .-.. .- -.-- / --- ..-. / . -- --- - .. --- -. --..-- / -. . .-. ...- --- ..- ... .-.. -.-- /

.-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --. / .- ... / - .... . / .--. .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - / ... .. - ... --..-- / .... . .- -.. / .. -. / .... .- -. -.. ... .-.-.-

..-. .. -. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- --..-- / - .... . / .--. .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - / .-.. --- --- -.- ... / ..- .--. / .- -. -.. / .- ... -.- ... --..-- / .-..-. .... --- .-- / -- .- -. -.-- / .. ... / .- / -...

.-. .- --.. .. .-.. .-.. .. --- -. ..--.. .-..-.

:P

response #55 by Green Meanie:

      --. .-- -... = One followed by many zeros
:rofl:

response #60 by BrotherBuzz:

      NSA boys snooze with Morse code these days. I like to wake them up in cleartext like this....
Waihopai, INFOSEC, Information Security, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Priavacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, Reno, Compsec, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, ISS, Passwords, DefCon V, Hackers, Encryption, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, PEM, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, Active X, Compsec 97, LLC, DERA, Mavricks, Meta-hackers, ^?, Steve Case, Tools, Telex, Military Intelligence, Scully, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, ISACA, NCSA, spook words, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, LABLINK, USACIL, USCG, NRC, ~, CDC, DOE, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, DREO, CDA, DRA, SHAPE, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, SAS, SBS, UDT, GOE, DOE, GEO, Masuda, Forte, T, GIGN, Exon Shell, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, MYK, 747,777, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, ayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, Duress, RAID, Psyops, grom, D-11, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, MP5k, DREC, DEVGRP, DF, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, PSAC, PTT, RFI, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, SUSLO, TELINT, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, VHF, UHF, SHF, SASP, WANK, Colonel, domestic disruption, smuggle, 15kg, nitrate, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, nkvd, argus, afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Rapid Reaction, Corporate Security, Police, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security Consulting, High Security, Security Evaluation, ElectronicSurveillance, MI-17, Counterterrorism, spies, eavesdropping, debugging, interception, COCOT, rhost, rhosts, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell, B.D.M.,Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF, POCSAG, Covert Video,Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope, csystems, passwd, 2600 Magazine, Competitor, EO, Chan, Alouette, executive, Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ, MIT, 69, RIT,
Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, Embassy, ETA, Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco, TRD, TDR, sweeping, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS, Asset, Satellite imagery, force, Cypherpunks, Coderpunks, TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, Pornstars, AVN, Playboy, Anonymous, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20, subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, the, Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, NATIA, NATOA, sneakers, counterintelligence, industrial espionage, PI, TSCI, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., Juiliett Class Submarine, Locks, loch, Ingram Mac-10, sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Blowpipe, CCS, GSA, Kilo Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, ANC, zone, SBI, DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Wackenhutt, EO, Wackendude, mol, Hillal, GGL, CTU, botux, Virii, CCC, Blacklisted 411, Internet Underground, XS4ALL, Retinal Fetish, Fetish, Yobie, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago Posse, l0ck,
spook keywords, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC, Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7, Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, press-release, Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Digicash, zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI, Blacknet, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, plutonium, Texas, jihad, SDI, Uzi, Fort Meade, supercomputer, bullion, 3, Blackmednet, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, Planet-1, cryptanalysis, nuclear, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta Force, SEAL, virtual, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops, Area51, SABC, basement, data-haven, black-bag, TEMPSET, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, unclassified, utopia, orthodox, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob, Pseudonyms, MITM, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, Sugar Grove, Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith, Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, Flintlock, cybercash, government, hate, speedbump, illuminati, president, freedom, cocaine, $, Roswell, ESN, COS, E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, assasinate, virus, anarchy, rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium, William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, Atlas, Delta, TWA, Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, Lynch, 414, Face, Pixar, IRIDF, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton, LUK,
Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, 51, H&K, USP, ^, sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, Glock 26, snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, IRS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco, Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM, SADF, advise, TUSA, HoHoCon, SISMI, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP, SSCI, NIMA, MOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, OAU, PFS, Aladdin, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, Peering, 17, 312, NB, CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut, SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, EG&G, AIEWS, AMW, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, DynCorp, UXO, Ti, THAAD, package, chosen, PRIME, SURVIAC,UFO.

response #52 by Chovexani:

      Jesus Christ I can read that
I've spent way too much time on the Intertoobz. :evilfrown:

response #61 by Jamastiene:

      Funn1357.7hr34d.3v3r.
:rofl:

The Lounge, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7252721

On a thread by JVS:

      Mac users, help me out. I miss right clicking

response #13 by proud2Blib:

      I use a 2 button mouse with my iMac
Does that mean I am not part of the cult?

response #14 by Taverner:

      You're riding a fine line there, boy...
Better do some Hail Steves and one our motherboard and you'll be absolved.

response #16 by GirlinContempt:

      Mac?!

response #18 by JVS:

      I needed to build up my latte sipping volvo driving yuppie cred
Driving around in an old beater, drinking instant coffee, going to church, and not having money were totally not going over in that milieu. Now I can sit with my computer in the coffee shop and at least fake it a little.

The Lounge, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7251117

On a thread by rsmith6621:

       Chemical explosion at Fox News building
"A small chemical explosion was reported Monday in the building that houses Fox News, officials said. One person was hurt.

The explosion happened at 10:39 a.m. on the building's 45th floor, which houses the heating and cooling systems for the 47-story building..."

response #1 by libnnc:

      It's the meth lab in Billo's office
Finally blew.

Bound to happen someday.

response #2 by BurtWorm:

      I thought it might be the methane in Billo.
:patriot:

response #5 by madinmaryland:

      Bill-O tried to mix loofahs and falafels?

response #7 by Bucky:

      I'm glad no one was hurt.
Cause now we can make fun of this.

response #8 by marmar:

      Vats full of toxic bullshit spontaneously combusted!!!
:scared:

response #12 by SoCalDem:

      Who knew that silicone, hair spray & lip gloss posed such an explosive hazard?
:)

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2484079

OP by LeftHander:

Panic stricken flee FOX news as soda can bursts....
A stampede for the exits ensued by fear laden FOX News employees after Ralph Hampton's diet soda exploded in the break room. Ralph removed the soda from the freezer and while standing at the microwave it burst showering nearby employees with soda. Fearing the worst, they started screaming and someone alerted the News Room that a terrorist attack was occurring on a 911 scale. Fox News crawled the headline and soon and the on air newsroom anchor had live coverage with one of the victims via cell phone as they were trapped under a table in the breakroom.

The team of remote backup graphic artists uploaded the banner slash screen "Liberal Terror ATTACK!!" complete with 3d twirling text trailing chemical flames. All regular FOX programming was interrupted.

Bill O'Rielly and Ann Coulter called for the detention and interrogation of all liberal political groups and for Americans to be on the look out for soda drinking progressives.

response #2 by zorahopkins:

Pop?
Pop Go The Weasels??

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2483808

On a thread by sinkingfeeling:

      Four floors of Fox News headquarters in New York evacuated after reports of a chemical explosion

response #1 by MNDemNY:

      Billo's head??

response #3 by Kadie:

      Maybe someone told him 'Happy Holidays'
:shrug:

response #4 by mod mom:

      that would make it a stink bomb-now wouldn't it?

response #15 by Champion_Jack:

      Not to fear, it was just their secondary crack lab
The main lab, which produces most of the crack for their "talent" is still up

response #30 by shain from kane:

      Fauxnews exceeds quota of lies, Gates of Hell open.

response #31 by Sentinel Chicken:

      False Alarm. Seems it was only a koolaid spill. n/t

response #39 by rAVES:

      Probably Iran.. or at least a muslim who definitely isnt a saudi..

response #43 by smoogatz:

      Damn those Canadians!
Ever since they legalized gay marriage, their society has completely fallen apart.

response #51 by Zorra:

      Happens every time Captain Howdy shows up to check on his workers.
The place always stinks like sulfur for weeks afterwards.

LBN, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3104492

On a thread by katty:

Global food supply dwindling rapidly (UN report)
"In an 'unforeseen and unprecedented' shift, the world food supply is dwindling rapidly and food prices are soaring to historic levels, the top food and agriculture official of the United Nations warned Monday..."

response #1 by kestrel91316:

"unforeseen and unprecedented"
Yeah. NOBODY could have forseen THIS development........

Editorials & Other Articles, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x326728

OP by salinen:

      "War on Ass"
Yes, sadly, there is a war being waged right under our collective noses. You are undoubtedly underwear of this war, butt, nonetheass, it's true. I know, I know, where's the assrage? You may ass, who's behind this evil scheme? George Sorass? Maybe. Richard Mellons Chafe? Probably. We may never get to the bottom. Behind this battle, in the deep, dark crevasses, lurks a sinister megalomaniac who makes Cheneys farts seem almost fragrant. He's godless, loveless, bunless, and devoid of holeness. The air he breathes is different than ours. Huckabee knows who he is, because Huckabee knows everything.

response #1 by Harvey Korman:

      OK, how can I not recommend this work of geniass
K/R

response #2 by TomInTib:

      I'm behind you.
And I know assactly what you are asspiring to asspress.

Where Oh Where would we be without a little ass?

Up shit's creek, thass where.

response #3 by Steepler0t:

      Reading this
made my coffee assplode onto my moonitor!

response #5 by BushDespiser12:

      En re-butthole,
I can only say I'm becoming morebunned.

response #9 by riverdeep:

      Before this thread I was kinda bummed out.
But now I'm rearing to go!

response #10 by Hardrada:

      All this to the tune of the London Derriere!
Boy, I've been waiting for years to plug that line in. Some of our asspirations are fulfilled eventually.

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2488364

On a thread by sabra:

Lamont regarding Lieberman: maybe he'll join McCain in a duet rendition of 'Bomb, Bomb, Iran'

response #4 by DFW:

I even hacked into the lyrics of their duet:
Bomb, bomb, bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb, bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran
Oh Bomb Iran
I hope I can
Go bomb Iran
I’ll show them evil mullahs
And them Ayatullahs
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran

Tried it with Iraq, tried it with Iraq, tried it with Iraq
And they knifed us in the back, so
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, yes, I’ll bomb Iran (bomb, bomb Iran)
I’ll say, “here is un presente from el presidente,”
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran

Then I’ll bomb Peru, then I’ll bomb Peru, then I’ll bomb Peru
‘Cause it’s something else to do, and
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, oh I’ll bomb Iran (bomb, bomb Iran)
I won’t be dropping candies (on the) commies in the Andes
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran

Boston is next, Boston is next, Boston is next
I’ll find a pretext, and
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, yes I’ll bomb Iran (Bomb, bomb Iran)
The libbruls will be tinglin’ when I bomb New England,
Bomb Iran, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran

(Fade out)
Bomb Iran, bomb Iran,
Bet I can
Bomb Iran………………………

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2485220

On a thread by muntrv:

NY Times: Savage Weiner remains unbowed.

response #1 by Tandalayo_Scheisskopf:

There is a man...
uniquely suited for a future that involves eating out of the dumpster behind a chinese restaurant and drinking Sterno that has been filtered through a loaf of bread.

If he doesn't already. The jury is still out on that.

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2487646

On a thread by devilgrrl:

      "I don't give a f--- who you are, I'm a f---ing TV reporter, you f---ing dyke,"
"PHILLY ANCHOR Alycia Lane is scheduled to appear on TV tomorrow night in 'Celebrate the Season,' an annual special highlighting holiday cheer in the Delaware Valley.

Not so fast.

The suits at CBS 3 and the CW Philly may have to reconsider broadcasting the special since Lane was arrested early yesterday on charges of punching a New York City cop in the face.

According to the police complaint, the Emmy-winning anchor yelled at the female police officer, 'I don't give a f--- who you are, I'm a f---ing TV reporter, you f---ing dyke,' according to Philadelphiawilldo.com, a Philadelphia Weekly blog..."

response #1 by rockymountaindem:

      Coming up... Road rage: bad idea or really bad idea?
The shocking footage you won't want to miss!

response #2 by lolly:

      Newsgirls Gone Wild!
Coming up at 11:00!

response #3 by Mojambo:

      Anytime you begin a sentence, "I don't care if you're a cop" your evening is NOT going to end well.

response #9 by TheWraith:

      The only exceptions being...
"I don't care if you're a cop, you still need to go to the ER for that compound fracture."

"I don't care if you're a cop, that doesn't mean you can FLY."

And:

"I don't care if you're a cop, I want to marry you!"

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2488183

OP by geek tragedy:

      Where did Hillary Clinton attend junior high secular madrassa?
I know she attended Yale Law Secular Madrassa.

Though I can't remember the name of her elementary secular madrassa.

response #10 by BeyondGeography:

      Her plans to increase spending on secular madrassas nationwide ain't half bad

response #11 by sniffa:

      does that mean they're half good?
i think our madrassas deserve more.

response #12 by BeyondGeography:

      First we must ask: Is our madrassas learning?

response #14 by K Gardner:

      No Madrassa Left Behind

GDP, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3854415

OP by burythehatchet:

I'm listenin' to some ole madrassa rap this evening
you know, Straight Outa Compton, Easy E, etc.

Good stuff.

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2488222

Poll question by Elrond Hubbard:

      Since Lieberman is endorsing McCain, what word would you say best describes Super Joe?

:bluebox: Douchebag

response #1 by wienerdoggie:

      I'm going to have to go with "douchebag".

response #2 by kagehime:

      this poll is misogynistic
and your options leave must to be desired

where's the options for brainless zombie fuck?

eta: in case you needed a :P

response #5 by Elrond Hubbard:

      i made this poll specifically to offend you.
:hug:

response #7 by kagehime:

      i know you did
douchebag

:hug:

response #3 by ocelot:

      "Douchebag" is a good choice.
Although I'd also support asslips, fucknozzle, bunghole and whistlefart.

response #4 by DissentIsPatriotic:

      Is this a push poll?

response #13 by Oregonian:

      To be technical, he's a Major League Douchebag.
He's Douched where no man has ever Douched before.
He passes the Douchey on the left hand side.
Fourth and goal for Lieberman, it's a Douchedown!
Joe puts the "ouch" in Douchebag.
Douche, thy name is Lieberman.
He is the Platonic Ideal of Doucheness.

Well, you get the idea. :)

response #36 by MilesColtrane:

      Better question.
Q: What one word describes the power of an American Standard flushing down a massive turd?

A: JOEMENTUM!

At press time, "Douchebag" was winning with 100% of the votes.

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2488389

OP by Lex:

The real Reason for the Season is
the degree of tilt of the Earth's axis in relation to the Sun.

In fact, that's the reason for all the seasons.

Please spread the good word.

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2488276

OP by sniffa:

      can we finally decide what DU's Godwin Law is?
as the number of posts increase in any given thread, the probability of a poster saying any of the following, approaches 1:

Why are you defending Republicans?
Why are you watching FoxNews?
Why are you reading Free Republic?

there's many more variations. we may have to rank them.

response #1 by DS1:

      Are you sure you're in the right place?
No. I realized I was in the wrong place after 12 posts, but I have some issues with quitting.

response #14 by skygazer:

      Why are you shopping at WalMart?
Link?

response #15 by Kutjara:

      Any discussion of breast feeding...
...will ultimately include posts on Olive Garden. Any discussion of Olive Garden will inevitably include posts on cornflake-breaded chicken. Any discussion of cornflake-breaded chicken will always include posts on breast feeding.

An eternal golden triangle.

response #25 by Bucky:

      Nice post, Karl.
My suggestion would be "posting in the Lounge to gripe about the temperament of discussions in GD or GDP."
But since I've done that, I guess that makes me a Nazi.

The Lounge, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7255418

On a thread by babylonsister:

      Huckabee denies son mistreated dog

response #5 by killbotfactory:

      He tripped and accidentally hung a dog
Happens all the time.

response #9 by Kucinich4America:

      Romney/Huckabee 2008!!!
No Dog Left Unharmed!!

GDP, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3858812

On a thread by Squatch:

      Need some good girl names
We're having our second kid in Mar/Apr timeframe...

response #7 by BurtWorm:

      Veronica, Vanessa, Viveca, Velveeta
Don't thank me. You're velcome.

response #15 by Rabrrrrrr:

      Sasquatch, Underwear, Beligerent, Arvatrix, Tribble, Squonk, Jutland
Spackling Compound, Disease, Roundabout, Washing Machine, Kewpie, Fiddler Crab, Fiddlehead Fern, Ermine, Plasticene, Ombudsman

response #83 by mycritters2:

      When I worked in day care, we had twins...
Rwanda and Uganda. These two were in my class, but I heard they had a sister named Burkina. I assume her middle name was Faso.

response #139 by dist22dem:

      I was shopping in Target one day
and they overhead paged an employee named "Angina" and then my cashier was named "Edema". :rofl:

response #27 by Drum:

      Seven
This will probably end all discussion of the matter. You're welcome. :)

response #49 by Oregonian:

      ... or Soda.
:thumbsup:

response #38 by orangepeel68:

      Mulva, Aretha, Dolores
oops! maybe those are bad girl names. :evilgrin:

response #46 by Bucky:

      Delores.
Also, think about "Chesty LaBoomboom" as a girl's name. She's bound to excel in science.

response #53 by dbaker41:

      Diarrhea. Very popular with children.
:rofl:

response #56 by NewWaveChick1981:

      Viagra, Levitra, Lunesta, Fallopia, Urethra...
:rofl: :hi:

response #58 by GoddessOfGuinness:

      Spatula
but Nora would do if you didn't want to be silly.

Congrats! :D

response #65 by rug:

      Rabrrrrrra

response #70 by porphyrian:

      I don't have any good ones, but I have some really bad ones.
Mucoida
Plaguebearer
Ornithopter

I can keep going...

response #78 by graywarrior:

      Babs.
(Kidding)

response #81 by Throd:

      Throdette, Throdalyn, Throdia, Throda-Mae
Just don't name her after my great aunt Throdita. She was bad news.

response #94 by Peake:

      Nicorette.

The Lounge, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7258821

On a thread by KoKo01:

      Huckabee says "Son Did NOT Mistreat that DOG!

response #5 by ColbertWatcher:

      Oh Lord...
and the dog wanted it. Or...

the dog didn't say no

the dog didn't feel a thing

Clinton abused a dog at some point in his distant or not so distant past

Saddam abused dogs worse

it wasn't really a dog it was actually a terrorist

the dog was related to terrorists

the dog talked on the phone to terrorists

the dog knew where a bomb was hidden that would hurt innocent Americans, unless the location of the bomb was tortured out of him!

response #9 by NI4NI:

      let me get this straight
Huckabee never used his influence to get his son out of a jam, but personally meets with members of the Arkansas State Parole Board to initiate the release of a convicted rapist (who went out to kill twice and rape again).......Gee, Thanks Dad!

GDP, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3860050

Poll question by hnmnf:

      Which Republican makes you gag so much that you end up spitting up blood?

:bluebox: The Huckster

:bluebox: Ghouliani

:bluebox: Tom Tancredo

:bluebox: John McCain

:bluebox: Duncan Hunter

:bluebox: Willard Mittens "My dog sits on the roof of the car" Romney

:bluebox: Fred "Worst DA Ever" Thompson

:bluebox: Ron Paul

response #11 by ocelot:

      To some extent, all of them.
Ghouliani is the one who makes me puke blood.
Huckleberry induces spectacular projectile vomiting.
Fred Thompson induces diarrhea.
John McCain causes disturbing facial tics.
Duncan Hunter makes my eyeballs roll back up in my head and get stuck there.
Ron Paul makes me run in circles and scream.
Tom Tancredo causes me to rant in Spanish.
Mittens Romney makes me wander about in public in strange underwear.

response #15 by tabatha:

      that must be interesting to watch
your reaction when they are all on the same stage together....

response #16 by ocelot:

      That's why I never watch those debates...
I'd explode.

At press time, "Ghouliani" was winning with 35% of the votes.

GDP, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3860375

On a thread by Quixote1818:

      I just heard this on the local radio. The Enquirer has an article about John Edwards love child

response #2 by Ellen Forradalom:

      That's not the worst of it.
That love child broke up Oprah and Obama.

response #10 by zidzi:

      And did it mention
fuckhead's abortion? Then I'm not impressed.

response #21 by alstephenson:

      Who's "fuckhead"???
As if I didn't know. Geez.

response #29 by Ellen Forradalom:

      We have a candidate named "Fuckhead"??
She totally has my vote!

response #32 by zidzi:

      I was talking about
bush and his girlfriend back in the day..sorry, I thought everyone knew who "fuckhead" is. :)

response #47 by Ellen Forradalom:

      Oh THAT fuckhead
Jeez, there's so many of them to choose from.

response #31 by balantz:

      Well, it did happen
and I am that Love Child. It was almost 46 years ago. I remember the pale green walls of the delivery room, and lookig over at my new parents, and then the horror at seeing that my folks were mere ten year olds, and thinking "Oh, how could they have disgraced me so...?"

-More in the next issue-

GDP, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3859621

On a thread by napi21:

      Ewww! Did you hear Malloy say they bring Shrub's poop home?
Apparently they ship a porta potty with him when he travels abroad. The Presidential excrement is then brought back to the US for disposal...

Then Mike read a story about Shrub always using a "food taster" and that no one has done that for many years...

response #3 by Kutjara:

      Well, they've got to have something to fill the shelves...
...of his Presidential Library. Since everything comes out of his ass anyway, it's all pretty much a wash.

response #7 by lumberjack_jeff:

      Do they scrape it off the walls of his suite? n/t

response #9 by HuffleClaw:

      a food taster? does he also have a jester?
i wonder how much the job pays

response #14 by Breeze54:

      Lieberman
:P

response #23 by alphafemale:

      Wow. Talk about having to tote around a "Nuclear Football." nt

response #43 by aint_no_life_nowhere:

      They can it and sell it at closed-door GOP fund raisers - $2,000 a can!
Makes for a tasty spread on crackers, a pleasant break from that evil librul French pâté or Russian caviar. Real Republican Freedom Feces!

response #48 by mitchum:

      It's the main course at the annual freeper picnic

response #59 by dicksteele:

      It's processed into "bills" and forewarded to our "leaders" in Congress. nm

GD, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2489069

On a thread by doxieone:

      BREAKING: Fire at Eisenhower Exec. Office (next to WH)
MSNBC gal: "There are several remodeling projects going on since 9/11.... It is possible, making a guess, it could be related to some of that work."

EDIT: Andrea Mitchell on now... She really has no info as to how it started, just giving history of the building. "That particular floor is a pretty important floor where the Vice President is."

EDIT: Another guy on MSNBC, "Fire is near the ceremonial VP office.... this is the main working area for the President's staff.... electrical fire"

response #1 by madinmaryland:

      Bush's pants are on fire?
:shrug:

response #17 by tekisui:

      Can pacemakers spontaneously combust?

response #23 by Whoa_Nelly:

      Only those powered by Hell itself
:evilgrin:

response #52 by Xipe Totec:

      Dick forgot to lock the gates to hell.
and his staff accidentally broke the pentagram.

response #61 by baldguy:

      The Nixon & Reagan WH knew how to burn documents WITHOUT SETTING THE WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE!!
Jeez, they should give Ollie North a call.

response #68 by Jim__:

      A clear case of domestic terrorism!
We need to update the Patriot Act!

LBN, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3107044

OP by Bennyboy:

      OMFG! I just wished someone "Merry Christmas"!
Now what do i do? Turn in my Radical Americans for Political Correctness membership card?

Dismantle my Festivus pole?

Wish three people Happy Kwanzaa?

Sign up on the Mike Huckabee forum?

response #1 by IronLionZion:

      We'll accept your resignation from DU forever.
Nothing can save you now.

:P

response #2 by Peake:

      Loose lips sink Wars Against Christmas.
You will not be welcomed at the next meeting.

response #3 by Bennyboy:

      :hangs head...kicks dirt:

response #6 by meegbear:

      We just lost the War on Christmas ...
jerk.

response #7 by Mz Pip:

      How. Could. You.
It does appear, though, that you are grievously sorry for having offended the men and women who are fighting in the trenches in the
War on Christmas.

For penance you must send Bill Orally a Happy Holidays card with a picture of a naked biker chick on it.

The Lounge, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7263665

On a thread by Gman:

      Study Reveals Why Monkeys Shout During Sex
"Female monkeys may shout during sex to help their male partners climax, research now reveals.

Without these yells, male Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus) almost never ejaculated, scientists found.

Female monkeys often utter loud, distinctive calls before, during or after sex. Their exact function, if any, has remained heavily debated..."

response #4 by Rex:

      Well that explains
naw, too easy...

response #5 by 4MoronicYears:

      Just how do monkeys pronounce
"Oh God", "Oh God", "Oh God"

response #8 by CatWoman:

      and which brand cigarette do they smoke afterward?
:)

response #9 by 4MoronicYears:

      Why.... Lucky Strike of course!! n/t

response #13 by smokey nj:

      They are sooo faking it.

response #17 by mcscajun:

      Sounds to me like the females were yelling...Finish!
And Get the BLEEP offa me, already! I've got stuff to DO!

:rofl:

response #18 by KamaAina:

      Former Va. Sen. George Allen could not be reached for comment.
Without these yells, male Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus) almost never ejaculated, scientists found.

response #24 by Oeditpus Rex:

      Wonder what Laura yells
(CAUTION: Extremely unpleasant mental image forthcoming!)

...when she and W practice their love.

"I'm just a GOD DAMNED PIECE of PAPER, George! Put FOOD on me!"

response #27 by Xipe Totec:

      Jeb!... Jeb!... Jeb!!!!!! nt

response #30 by emilyg:

      Bill!... Bill!... Bill!...

response #34 by alarimer:

      I would like to see the grant proposal for this
Actually I would have liked to be on the committee judging grant proposals when this came up.

GD, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2500944

On a thread by marmar:

Mo' Booty Rudy's Campaign is tanking.....

response #2 by blondeatlast:

Golly--how on earth can we not allow a brave leader hero-guy not win the Presidency?
What is wrong with this country?

Why, without him, America might forget that 9/11 ever happened! :eyes:

GD, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2501509

On a thread by William769:

      Fred Wants To Be Saddled And Mounted
"Republican Fred Thompson says if he can be a presidential horse for conservatives to ride in the campaign, 'All I've got to say is saddle me up.'

Thompson was touring Iowa by bus rather than on horseback Tuesday, saying he's got the potential to come on fast in the final days before the state's Jan. 3 caucuses..."

response #1 by CaliforniaPeggy:

      Isn't he a little old...
For horseplay?

:P

response #2 by TomInTib:

      Oh, God...
It's a good thing that I am meeting my psychologist for lunch, because the mere mental image of Fred "saddled and mounted" is going to require some serious counseling to wash it from my mind's eye.

response #8 by Capn Sunshine:

      Can we do it midstream?
and keep his head underwater?

response #9 by aquart:

      At first, I thought it said Stuffed and mounted.
But how could we tell the difference?

response #10 by Mabus:

      Looks like he chipped one of his front teeth on a bridle
Why did I say that? Now I'm going to have night terrors for a week.

response #17 by balantz:

      Can we throw an oats bag over his head?

GDP, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3864124

On a thread by KitchenWitch:

Okay, I have my tinfoil hat securely on my head. Am I the only one who thinks the EOB fire was MIHOP

response #3 by EOTE:

Actually, I believe it's more like ARBWODE.
Or, A Really Blatant Way Of Destroying Evidence.

GD, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2497480

On a thread by madokie:

      I believe this fire today shows that bushco is going down

response #2 by aquart:

      Nancy, they're burning DC, will you impeach NOW?

response #4 by helderheid:

      I believe they burned the table that impeachment wasn't on. n/t

response #41 by WinkyDink:

      "Heckuva job, Smokey!"
This story will be as ephemeral as the smoke.

GD, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2496904

OP by Orrex:

Top Ten Explanations for the fire in Cheney's office
I posted this in GDP, but they apparently weren't in the mood to laugh at my unbridled hilarity:

10. Cheney really fired those Justice Dept. lawyers this time
9. Another meth lab mishap
8. Satanic invocation gone awry
7. Typical Neocon Hazing ritual
6. Joke involving effigy of Ms. Clinton got out of control
5. Hunting accident involving flamethrower
4. Incident while roasting chestnuts over open fire
3. Someone spiked the VP's drink with holy water
2. Destruction of paternity results re: Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy
1. That's what happens when a ventricular defribillator is in overdrive for five years

Enjoy!

The Lounge, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7266841

OP by originalpckelly:

      If crosses stalk you, you might be Mike Huckabee.
If you resemble Jim Neighbors, you might be Mike Huckabee.
If you lost another person and haven't attended any funerals, you might be Mike Huckabee.
If you think God actually gives a damn about politics, you might be Mike Huckabee.
If you think Mormons believe Jesus and the devil are brothers, you might be Mike Huckabee.
If you think Chuck Norris will help you on the campaign trail, you might be Mike Huckabee. (Thank God for Chuck Norris!)

Any more folks?

response #1 by Rincewind:

      One more
If you think murders and rapists should be turned loose if they say they found Jesus, you might be Mike Huckabee.

response #3 by rusty quoin:

      If you think that men rode dinosaurs, you might be a Huckabee.

response #9 by NanceGreggs:

      If you think you have a prayer (!) ...
... of becoming the next president, you might be Mike Huckabee ... but then again, you might be Mayor 9iulian!!, Tom Tancredo, Alan Keyes, Fred Thompson, Duncan Hun ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

GD, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2502067

On a thread by underpants:

Will Duncan Hunter sweep up Tancredo's voting block and take the nomniation?

response #1 by jgraz:

It's not so much a voting "block" as a voting wood chip
Hunter just doubled his support from Ann Coulter to Ann Coulter and one other dude.

GDP, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3868063

OP title by Amerigo Vespucci:

Contraceptive Sponge-Bob? Nickelodeon considers a pregnancy special in wake of Jamie Lynn-gate

The Lounge, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7267406

On a thread by Me.:

Giuliani In Hospital: Does This Mean He's On His Way To Dropping Out Of The Race?

response #2 by Patsy Stone:

He's being treated
for a slip in the polls and a fall into obscurity.

GD, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2502919

On a poll by BuyingThyme:

      Have you ever written a book?

response #2 by Buzz Clik:

      Does God get a proxy vote?

response #5 by Bucky:

      What, are you suggesting that for the Bible he used Holy Ghost writers?

The Lounge (moved from GD), December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7271183

On a thread by n2doc:

Asteroid may hit Mars Jan 30th

response #3 by sheeptramp:

First bike racing, then Baseball. Now steroid on Mars!??!!
Just say no to drugs!

Science, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=228x36909

On a thread by rolleitreks:

      Lakota Tribe Disavows Treaties, Declares Independence

response #5 by Bigmack:

      This is a trick!
They just want War with the US government. They can then just lose quickly - without all that messy bombing - and get in on some of that "development" money the US is pissing away in Iraq! It seems like that's the only way anybody can spring some bucks out of this mis-administration.

Do I have to add :sarcasm: ?

response #10 by Javaman:

      So are the Lakota adopting? nt

response #22 by loudsue:

      Well, you can get adopted...sorta. It's called a "hunka" ceremony...
and it's where you make a relationship with a Lakota person. It's spiritually binding.

response #26 by Javaman:

      Hunka...huh?
Okay, so if I fell in love with a woman from the Lakota tribe, would that make me her...

wait for it...

a Hunka Hunka of burnin' love?

response #44 by loudsue:

      If she's Lakota, you "Can't Help Falling in Love".....
;)

LBN, December 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3108681

Limericks by lame54, Orrex, Xipe Totec, Demnan, Parche, Jimshoes & stlsaxman:

DU Political Limerick Contest -YOU be the judge
Here are the entries to the political limerick contest
Which is your favorite

1)Lame54
There once was a man from Washington
Who would bomb other countries just for fun
His "boss" was quite thick
And his name was Dick
But it was not just his name, he was one

2)Orrex
To exacerbate Democrats' ire
Dick Cheney assembled a pyre,
And the evidence burned
So that nothing was learned;
In a word, he fought files with fire.

3)Xipe Totec
The Shrub had a fervent belief,
he could grow by becoming a thief
by the time he was finished
his size so diminished,
that he changed from a Bush to a leaf.

4)Demnan
There once was a man named Kucinich
Who would never eat meat, only spinach
But he showed his reach
when he billed to impeach
Now the Main Stream Media Cringes

5)Xipe Totec
I think I'm becoming obsessed,
with creating the Limerick best:
"To be truly sublime,
it should do more than rhyme...
it should skewer George Bush and the rest".

6)Parche
There once was a female from Delaware
Shopping at Best Buy without a care
Drinking Vodka all day long
While going thru the tollbooth listening to her Led Zeppelin song

7)JimshoesJimshoes
There once was a gang who when needed
would break laws and skate un-impeded
and later we learned
that the evidence burned
and the people it seems have been cheated

8)Lame54
Though Pelosi could easily disable
Bush's dastardly crimes she'd enable
and though the whole while
the evidence would pile
Impeachment was still off the table

9)stlsaxmanstlsaxman
There once was a man named Al Gore
who chose not to run in '04
it still ain't too late
for a run in '08
but he probably won't so we're fucked.

GD, December 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2512560

On a thread by jgraz:

      Why I'm not supporting Hillary Clinton

response #22 by MethuenProgressive:

      So, Romney, Huckabee, or McCain?
If she's nominated that is. Which?

response #34 by jgraz:

      I think I'll vote for the big fat strawman you keep trotting out
He seems to be able to stand up to anything.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award in answer to response #34.

GDP, December 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3873196

On a thread by Ignis:

      Woman Ticketed After Goats Caught Mating
"Some "goats gone wild" are the talk of a small Oklahoma town.

A woman received two tickets after her goats were caught mating and relieving themselves on her own yard.

City law said it is illegal for any two animals to have sex in public within Dibble city limits.

The owner was shocked when she heard the charges. 'I kind of thought if anyone was caught having sex in public, it could have been me,' Carol Medenhall said..."

response #1 by asdjrocky:

      What are those goats doing out there?
"Mutton honey."

response #9 by whistle:

      "Makin' Mutton honey."
:spray: :rofl:

response #2 by htuttle:

      I'll have to ask my nanny about this....

response #11 by lame54:

      They should have gotten a room at the Pet's Western

response #13 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

      The complaint was made by the owner of the "Dibble Playtime Motel".
Hourly rates. Mirrored ceiling. Waterbeds. Towels extra.

response #21 by Ignis:

      When Goat Sex is outlawed...
Only outlaws will have goat sex!

response #23 by eppur_se_muova:

      I tell ya, these kids got no respect for the law today.
Carrying on like ... like ... ANIMALS!

GD, December 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2511611

On a thread by ruggerson:

      I would kind of like a President who did a whole mess of acid when he was a kid

response #7 by impeachdubya

GDP, December 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3840010

On a thread by Stephanie:

      I Can Haz Cheezburger? ---pix--->>>

response #1 by citizen_jane

response #3 by bunkerbuster1

response #8 by americanstranger

response #9 by IMModerate

response #16 by JBoy

response #39 by Enrique

response #42 by Bongo Prophet

response #47 by impeachdubya

response #25 by MilesColtrane

response #26 by SalmonChantedEvening

response #27 by livvy

response #35 by yibbehobba

GD, December 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2473745

OP by Jackpine Radical:

      The Republican Brain (Caution: Graphic Anatomical Photos)

response #1 by enid602

response #2 by Jackpine Radical

response #3 by Habibi

response #4 by Bucky

GD, December 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2473753

On a thread by Bluebear:

      "School resource officer" uses Taser on parent who does not "calm down"

The set-up: response #1 by BullGooseLoony

And the visual: response #60 by DuStrange

GD, December 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2472404

On a thread by Kadie:

      Caption Fred Thompson

response #1 by dicksteele

response #3 by Happyhippychick

response #5 by marylanddem

response #6 by bahrbearian

response #7 by madokie

response #9 by annabanana

response #10 by mitchum

response #12 by Jade Fox

response #14 by JBoy

response #16 by Fridays Child

GD, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2478433

OP by NewHampster:

      This is for Joe Lieberman

response #14 by desi

response #24 by stimbox

response #27 by TahitiNut

response #30 by riverdeep

response #34 by in_cog_ni_to

response #36 by NightWatcher

response #42 by SaveOurDemocracy

response #44 by Krashkopf

GD, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2479820

OP by MrScorpio:

      Things Guiliani can do to make himself more appealing

response #1 by ColbertWatcher

response #2 by rug

response #4 by LiberalFighter

response #6 by rug

response #13 by Contrary1

response #15 by SoCalDem

response #17 by sfexpat2000

GD, December 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2480319

OP by taterguy:

      Yet another cheap Chinese import to be concerned about

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2486865

OP by EarlG:

      The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 318: 10 (Republican Presidential Candidates)

Editorials & Other Articles, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x326497

Bonus video adaptation of the above by lame54:

      Top 10 Conservative Idiots Iowa Debate

Political Videos, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x77133

OP by Amerigo Vespucci:

      Photo: It's time for another exciting round of "What the hell is Senator McCain REACHING for?"

response #1 by yourout

response #2 by MNDemNY

GDP, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3852177

On a thread by struggle4progress:

      Mike Huckabee: Playing Both Sides of the Pulpit (David Corn in MoJo)

response #1 by C_U_L8R

Religion/Theology, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=214x160174

On a thread by Kadie:

      Love is in the air - Condi pics (Warning - graphic)

response #14 by Olney Blue:

GD, December 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2487292

On a thread by Kadie:

      Caption? - * pic

response #1 by book_worm

response #2 by Mr_Jefferson_24

response #5 by democrank

response #8 by Trouser Trout

response #10 by liberalla

response #11 by Lautremont

response #12 by aint_no_life_nowhere

response #18 by Kurovski

GD, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2492131

On a thread by Drunken Irishman:

      Embarrassing family photos.

response #4 by graywarrior

response #7 by Kutjara

response #18 by KitchenWitch

response #19 by Downtown Hound

The Lounge, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7260039

On a thread by CatWoman:

      Have you guys seen Advertising Age's top mag covers for 2007?

response #2 by aint_no_life_nowhere

GD, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2491728

On a thread by whistle:

      Hot damn for Bill Clinton said Hillary's first act as president....

response #4 by jgraz

GD, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2494682

On a thread by DeepModem Mom:

      Huckabee denies subliminal message in Christmas TV ad

response #12 by Canuckistanian

GDP, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3860984

OP by Bicoastal:

      I'll give you 10 DU Dollars if you can stare at this picture of Fred Thompson for 1 minute...

response #6 by MrMickeysMom

response #12 by aint_no_life_nowhere

response #13 by BlueJazz

response #14 by demnan

response #15 by SDuderstadt

response #27 by htuttle

response #28 by Neo

response #31 by Bicoastal

response #33 by DuStrange

response #36 by hatrack

GD, December 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2491809

On a thread by kentuck:

      It's all just a coincidence...

response #5 by KitchenWitch

GD, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2497695

On a thread by DemocratSinceBirth:

      To The People Posting The Most Unflattering Pictures Of Hillary Clinton They Can Find

response #66 by rucky

GDP, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3865821

OP by Squatch:

      The White House fails to choose a new pope

GD, December 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2497531

On a thread by Bucky:

      Hey, what is this thing?

response #1 by NightWatcher

response #3 by yellowcanine

response #4 by EOTE

response #5 by meegbear

response #6 by rug

response #9 by no name no slogan

response #12 by DuStrange

response #13 by sarge43

response #15 by Bucky

The Lounge, December 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7270429

On a thread by jgraz:

      Why I'm not supporting Hillary Clinton

response #39 by sniffa

GDP, December 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3873196