The Ten Commandments of Rock

[lame54]

http://www.talk2action.org/story/2007/12/29/82218/946
I. THE “ROCK BEAT” DECEIVES YOUTH INTO VIOLATING THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

II. THE “ROCK BEAT” VIOLATES GOD’S COMMAND TO “GIVE NO PLACE TO THE DEVIL”

III. THE “ROCK BEAT” MOCKS GOD’S COMMAND TO “LOVE NOT THE WORLD”

IV. THE “ROCK BEAT” DISREGARDS GOD’S COMMAND NOT TO OFFEND OTHER CHRISTIANS

V. THE “ROCK BEAT” DEFIES GOD’S COMMAND TO JUDGE ALL THINGS AS GOOD OR EVIL

VI. THE “ROCK BEAT” DISOBEYS GOD’S COMMAND TO AVOID “ALL APPEARANCE OF EVIL”

VII. THE “ROCK BEAT” CONTRADICTS GOD’S COMMAND NOT TO BE BROUGHT UNDER ITS POWER

VIII. THE “ROCK BEAT” OPPOSES GOD’S COMMAND NOT TO MIX LIGHT WITH DARKNESS

IX. THE “ROCK BEAT” IGNORES GOD’S COMMAND FOR ALL MINISTERS TO BE QUALIFIED

X. THE “ROCK BEAT” VIOLATES GOD’S COMMAND TO PROTECT OUR BODIES AS GOD’S TEMPLE

[flvegan]

1. What's two steps beneath batshit crazy?

I need a label for this kind of belief.

[NeedleCast]

15. Fundie?

[asthmaticeog]

2. *sigh*

Since that's just fucking insane, I'll proffer a more sensible 10 Commandments of Rock:


Thou shalt not appear onstage in shorts.

Thou shalt not misspell thy band's name.

Thou shalt not name thy band after the genre of rock it plays - only jazz, blues and swing bands may do this.

If thou referrest to thine band as a project, sell all of thine gear and die.

Thine patchy indie-kid beard makest thou looketh like a dipshit.

When thou playeth in Cleveland, resisteth with all thine strength the urge to say "Hello Cleveland."

Unless thou art Morrissey, weareth not thine own band's shirt.

Thine guitar may not have a pointy headstock, nor may it have no headstock at all.

Non-singers must refrain from lyp-syching onstage, just as non-guitar playing singers must refrain from air-guitar.

Leaveth on thine shirt, please.

[EnviroBat]

6. Let us not forgetith...

Thy thick-rimmed glasses and cordouroy sport jacket with matching scrubby-beard maketh you a pretentious asshat scenester...
Thou shalt no appear at our showith or we shall strike down upon you with furious anger!

"indie-kid beard..." That was great!

[jakem]

8. no shorts? what if you really rock?!

[guitar man]

17. amen brother

the "no shorts" rule has to have at least one exception!:thumbsup:

[hatrack]

9. Thou shalt add no gratutious "X"s or "Z"s to thy band's name

Alternate spellings are a false god, pursued in a desperate and ungodly attempt to show just How Heavy And Hard-Rockin' Thou Art!

[frylock]

21. so much for my side project, zzzyzzyxxx..

hello cleveland.

[flying rabbit]

12. Addendum to # 1

Unless thou art Angus Young

[asthmaticeog]

13. Oy! I was thinking more Fred Durst than Angus Young. Point taken! nt

[flying rabbit]

20. Amen!-can I get a witness!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3wXkv1VW54

:toast:

[jakem]

19. this has exceptions too...

Leaveth on thine shirt, please.

I mean, if you really rock, you can do whatever the fuck you want, right?

[spanone]

3. this is too stupid

[Perry Logan]

4. What must it be like, going through life thinking ROCK is the problem?

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

5. The church said the same things about the waltz when it was a craze.

"There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness." - H.L. Mencken

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Read further at the link

HOW THE "ROCK BEAT" CAUSED A SON TO DISHONOR HIS PARENTS

"About four years ago, our church got a new youth pastor. He began playing ‘Christian rock’ before meetings and during activities. He encouraged me to get a copy of a certain tape, which I did, even though my parents forbade me from doing so.

"Because I was being home educated, the church youth group was the only significant outside influence in my life, but that influence was enough to cause me to rebel and wreck my life for the next four years.

"I then started listening to secular soft rock music, thinking, ‘What’s wrong with this? It has less beat than Christian music.’ If only I had known what a deceiver Satan is, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache.

"About seven months ago at a Christian radio station’s New Year’s Eve party, I was introduced to ‘Christian rap’ music. Before that time, I did not listen to rap, but after hearing it there, I began justifying to myself that the beat couldn’t be all bad because Christians listened to it and it didn’t seem to harm them.

"What it did to me was cause a complete breakdown in morals, which led directly to my becoming involved in immoral habits and illegal activities. I was also constantly plagued with violent and unclean thoughts.

"Since then, I have taken steps to regain the ‘ground’ given to Satan, and for the first time in years, I have a feeling of complete freedom from the influence of this music."

--Tim Love, age 18, Washington



There's more. Praise HEEbus, there's more. :crazy:

[Touchdown]

11. That boy needs to get laid!

Just sayin'

[hatrack]

10. Thou shalt not name thy band "Myth", "Fantasy" or "Legend"

To do so is an abomination, and the Fearful Vengeance of the Enraged Plush-toy Unicorns shall be Mine, sayeth the Lord!

[bmbmd]

14. Matthew 16:18

"Upon this Rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it"-Jesus.

Rock on.

[NashVegas]

16. The "Rock Beat" Is 50 Years Old and I'd Like Something Else

Would suffice.

[guitar man]

18. bwahahaha!!!

Too funny,"Is Huckabee Going to hell?"hahaha :rofl:

From what I have heard of Huckabee's playing, he's in no danger from the "rock beat"....he couldn't seem to find it....:rofl: