Barney's memoires

[salinen]

As you know, I, Barney Bush, have been a loyal companion to his majesty. Even though I consider myself to be an Independent, I know my job, and that is to take it up the ass, and pretend it's o.k., just like the MSM. But I know things that only having a keen sense can tell, i.e. sniffing butt. For instance, Cheney eats massive amounts of pork. Even at breakfast, the guy sucks down 8 slices of bacon. Therefore, his ass smells like a pig farm.

Laura doesn't really like me. I think it's because I have a cone-shaped crimson penis. It mocks her because she hasn't seen a well prepared, ready to do business penis in 20 years or so.

George and I actually get along swimmingly. He likes it when I fart, and busts a gut when I hump Condi's leg. Once I took a major dump right behind Rummy when he was giving a speech. Now you know why he looks that way.

All in all, it's been good for me. Babs and Poppy hardly notice me, like a Katrina survivor. And the twins think I'm the life of the party. And boy do they party. They're way too busy to suit up for combat.

Well I have doodies to attend to. Please buy my book.