A little apocalyptic satire on the possible results of a Huckabee presidency:
Mike Huckabee Blamed For Surge in "Artful Dodgers"The recent nationwide explosion in pre-teen pickpockets has been traced to the first-term policies of president Mike Huckabee, according to a new study. The analysis, conducted by the respected Institute for Alarming Developments in Charleston, South Carolina, found a “confluence of poorly conceived notions, badly executed” responsible for the current pickpocketing plague on the citizens of the United States.
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According to Mr. Leeford, multiple, mutually reinforcing factors have combined to create the current petty crime epidemic, in which citizens in cities from London, Ohio to Manchester, California can no longer walk the streets without having their monocles, watch fobs, signet rings and spare ha'pennies relieved of them by roving bands of tattered, light-fingered urchins.
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“Combined, president Huckabee's policies have led to a situation whereby America now has a population of almost two million homeless, unaffiliated, uninsured children under the age of seven,” Mr. Leeford said. “These kids have to get food somehow. Most of them, it seems, have formed into small bands of petty criminals who make their livings preying on harried shoppers and businesspeople on the streets of our cities. A lot of them live in milk crates.”
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