Standing Up When It Counts.....

[AnneD]

My daughter turned 18 this weekend. We had a birthday dinner and invited our friends and some of my daughter's friends. I also invited some friends that are Rowers but very nice people (we have maintained a friendship for a long time). Well, as things would have it, our RE friends got into a heated discussion with our LAW friends over the war in Iraq. Our RW friends have one son that will be going to Baghdad this month and they have a daughter that is in the military too. As it was reaching a crescendo, the rest of the dinner party got quite. They were arguing and my LW friend said that we should get out of their and my RW friends were arguing that the pullout would be a disaster for the soldiers theres. Then the RW friend said to my LW friend...

"What authority do you have to say that, you never served, you've just protested. he said, raising his voice.

My LW friend paused, that was a hard point to dispute.

"Dr.B," I said in a quite but firm voice."I have the authority. I served 10 years in the military. My daughter was born a few months after Saddam Hussein overtook Kuwait. I was in the IRR at the time and I came within a hare's breathe of being activated and stop loss ed. I have a lot of respect for you -Lauren and Dr.B. Most folks I know that are rabid supporters are nothing more than arm chair patriots-willing to let someone else fight the war-but you have 2 children at risk and I respect them for that. I supported us going in to Afghanistan to get Osama ben Ladin and Al quida-but I opposed Iraq. I question the authorities that our leaders that got deferments or bugged out when THEY were called to duty. They have gotten us into a war that is bankrupting out country and destroying our military. Just this week a local soldier was killed after FIVE tours of duty. And for what....if it was for freedom of speech-all I hear on the NEWS is about Britney, Paris, or Lindsey. I don't think that is a fair exchange. Are were fighting to give the Iraqi's their freedom. Just this week, a unit of Iraqi's engaged in a fight turned tail and ran. If they want 'democracy' they have to stand up on their own to feet and fight for it themselves-not use our kids to do their work. I love an support your kids so much, I don't want them in harm's way. I will do everything in my power to stop this war, and I will do everything to support them when they come back"

Well, it got a bit quit and they as they left I hugged Lauren and whispered that she and her kids were in my prayers and to let me know any way I could help them-letters, packages, supplies, just name it.

One of the teens "Well, that was an awkward moment."

We laughed and I told the kids that we may have had a heated exchange but that our friendship of many years (based in love and respect) would still be intact even after the election. We wanted the same things on this issue, we were just coming at it from different angles.

True democracy is neither clean or neat. The solutions may not always be what we wanted, but at least we are heard and our say considered. It is though honest communication that we can reach an understanding. I would much rather discuss something meaningful than the latest 'gotcha' scandal. I imaging the same thing is going around dinner tables around the country and I hope you stand up when it counts.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

1. Why?

Why does the matter of whether or not someone served in the military somehow increase or lessen their credibility in a debate about the occupation of Iraq? I fail to see the connection.

You can't voice your opinion unless you're a military veteran?

Absurd.

If that's the case, how come Cheney's opinion counts so much?

Your RW friend pulled a fast one and should have been called out for it.

[AnneD]

2. No , this is a Democracy-last I heard...

I think those who haven't served have points to be listened to but frankly do not have the understanding that actual service provides. However, my brothers and sisters in arms have a special duty to speak up. It's hard to trump someone when they hold the Ace of Spades. At one time, I did make the point of Bush and Cheney not having a moral authority to send Americans to war due to deferments and not showing up-I used the phrase destroying the military and bankrupting the country too. Of course he brought up Clinton and I explained that no lives were lost in Bosnia because Clinton worked with the UN vs Bush's Cowboy diplomacy instead of using the Arab League.

And it's not just military though...do not hesitate to speak up and out. There were several others there that could have spoken up, but didn't. We need to stand up, find our voice, and use our authority and to speak from a place truth and respect. Yelling, screaming, and raising ones voice gets nowhere and does little to win the hearts and minds. I have watched these RW folks slowly change their minds over time-and now that their children have volunteered-the chickens are coming home to roost and they are thinking their choices through in a different way.

[blm]

3. Salute - and I noted your comment on media giving us Britney, Lindsey gossip instead of real news

as their idea of 'freedom of speech' and will be using it in the future myself.

Thank you.