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From my years working for government contractors, I have observed the following:
Even though the fiscal year starts on October 1, no new projects get started until after New Year's. After New Year's, government departments will actually release some funds for the contractors to get working.
To get a shit-shoveler who gets paid $8/hr to do his job, his subcontractor needs to be paid $28/hr, the contractor will bill $42/hr, and the prime contractor will bill the government $63/hr (not including award fee, which will be decided later).
For the shit-shoveler to do his $8/hr job, he will need to report to an $18/hr supervisor, who reports to a $28/hr manager, who reports to a $38/hr level III manager, who reports to a $48/hour level II manager, who reports to the VP.
If the shit-shoveler is to shovel shit from facilities which were built with two different line items in a Congressional appropriation, he will need two "charge numbers". Each "charge number" will need a $14/hr budget analyst who reports to an $18/hr supervisor, who reports to a $28/hr manager, who reports to a $38/hr level III manager, who reports to a $48/hour level II manager, who reports to a different VP.
If the shit-shoveler made a mistake on his time card and cross-charged to the wrong number, he will need to take "time-card training" which entails a two hour session with a $14/hr trainer, who reports to an $18/hr supervisor, who reports to a $28/hr manager, who reports to a $38/hr level III manager, who reports to a $48/hour level II manager, who reports to a different VP.
Of course, before the shit is actually shoveled, the shoveler has to wait for the work to be scheduled and a work package written up. This will require a $14/hour scheduler to work with the $24/hr engineer to plan the work schedule. They are both in different departments, so the scheduler will have to meet with his $28/hr manager, who reports to a $38/hr level III manager, who will coordinate with the other $38/hr level III manager, who will notify the $28/hr manager, who will tell the $24/hr engineer that the scheduler now has a schedule and a charge number for the shit to be shoveled.
If the shit to be shoveled is deeper than had been thought, a power shit-shovel will have to be found. Since this is a piece of capital equipment, it will have to go out for bid, providing, of course, that a power shit-shovel is in this year's capital equipment budget. If not, the work will have to wait until next year when the capital equipment has been approved by the government contracting officer.
Around the beginning of August, panic will start to set in as the amount of work done lags behind the plan and the contractor will be in a tizzy to get the work done before the money runs out at the end of the fiscal year. Requests for overtime will fly back and forth among the different levels of management while the government employees try to figure out what the contractor has been doing all year. Vacations for planners, schedulers, and cost accountants will be canceled as they work overtime to make the numbers add up. Essential business travel will be canceled as the travel budget is raided to make up for shortfalls in other areas.
Around Christmas time, the government will announce the award fee, depending on how well the VPs sweet-talked the contracting officer. The contractor will thank the workers and give them a voucher for a turkey from Kroger's, while the VPs and maybe level II managers split the millions of dollars in "award fee".
At no time will any employee of the government actually touch a shit-shovel or talk to a shit-shoveler.
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