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what is love for, anyway?

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undergroundpanther Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-09-08 11:57 PM
Original message
what is love for, anyway?
“As a society we are embarrassed by love. We treat it as if it were an obscenity. We are reluctant to admit to it. Even saying the word makes us stumble and blush. Why should we be ashamed of an motion so beautiful and natural? Love is the most important thing in our lives, a passion for which we would fight or die, and yet we're reluctant to linger over its name."

These are love’s enemies, the attitudes and behaviors which undermine and corrode our potential for affiliation, bonding, cooperation and love:

Domination/Submission (demanding that every relationship have a one-up and a one-down member)

Lying (in particular about how we feel and what we want)

Competition (especially when competing for another’s love.)

Physical and emotional violence (notably when it is used to coerce affection)

http://www.emotional-literacy.com/meming.htm


Ever notice when one baby cries in a nursery all the others soon cry too?Is it a sign of emotional sensitivity and empathy? Could be because babies haven't been taught to not feel and negate other's suffering yet?

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=950DE6D6123BF93BA15750C0A96F948260
http://www.intentblog.com/archives/2005/08/everything_i_le.html

If Babies die without affection.Could it be WE slowly die without each other's affection too?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080301054126AAAEutm

Maybe we don't"outgrow" our need for affection and love and the need to share it.Maybe we are taught,conditioned to believe we do.
This love issue may be the roots of many problems and agonies we all face,inside our own hearts and in our relations.
That along with the sociopath problem which is caused by a biological emotional deadness inherent in some people,a cold bloodiness and charming facade. Born to give Fake love,rotten love.

http://cat.inist.fr/?aModele=afficheN&cpsidt=2766453
http://www.futurepundit.com/mt/mt-altcomments.cgi?entry_id=2792

Makes us sick to be around it. Sickening to have these experiences of of bad people denied and unvalidated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PTSD is a response to persisting ignorance in those around us to a danger we have experienced.
Another way of saying it is human beings are resilient to fright but not to the neglect of a danger to their society..
...An evolutionary theory is:
PTSD is an adaptive response to danger; its purpose is to prevent harm to ourselves and those around us from a discovered but un-addressed danger.

http://www.brantglass.com/wordpress/

Sociopaths and their 'economy' based civilizations and trauma inducing behaviors like domination and exploitation have taught us fear to love and fear to be loved and to accept starving for love,and being stingy with our affection to others and embarrassed about it all so we lie..Sociopaths they abuse love, they fake love to the point we forget to care,So we by-stand,we turn away when someone is in need or pain. We begin to not give love anymore, our hearts close up.I wonder if this social disease of lovelessness brought on by contact with sociopaths can be overcome?
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...Our world seems to have been invaded by individuals whose approach to life and love is so drastically different from what has been the established norm for a very long time that we are ill- prepared to deal with their tactics of what can be called the "plausible lie."

We can even see that this philosophy of the "plausible lie" has overtaken the legal and administrative domains of our world, turning them into machines in which human beings with real emotions are destroyed. The recent movie, "The Matrix," touched a deep chord in society because it exemplified this mechanistic trap in which so many people find their lives enmeshed, and from which they are unable to extricate themselves because they believe that everyone around them who "looks human" is, in fact, just like them - emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise...
http://relationships.blog-city.com/the_bad_boy_psychopathic_personality_disorder.htm

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If we really want to live in a better world a kinder society these problems and needs around love and sociopaths in all it's forms,that touch so many lives,that are prevalent in this culture will have to be faced up to and resolved ASAP.
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Kazak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-09-08 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
1. A second-hand emotion?
:shrug:
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seriousstan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. What's love got to do , got to do with it?
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-09-08 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
2. Love
:hug: :hi:
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undergroundpanther Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 01:07 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. purrrrrrr...
:loveya:
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undergroundpanther Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 01:10 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. Let me express this better..
Edited on Sat May-10-08 01:19 AM by undergroundpanther
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Igel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
6. What kind of "love"?
Different kinds have different results, different "purposes" (if you're into the idea that evolution shapes not only physical traits but also psychological traits).

One kind yields kids. Another kind yields social structures suitable for the survival of offspring. Another kind yields small-group bonds that facilitate survival of the group. All three provide evolutionary benefits: after all, "survival of the fittest" is misunderstood if it's not seen in turns of production and survival of offspring in a given ecological context.

Other kinds are likely accidents, just as some attributes of language are arguably "more than is needed", but emerge as a consequence of what is needed. I've seen arguments that some of these "other kinds" might also serve an evolutionary purpose, but I'm not convinced.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. "survival of the fittest" is a misnomer,
Edited on Sat May-10-08 11:42 AM by HypnoToad
unless solid, irrefutable, incontrovertible criteria are mentioned to define "fit" with.

Someone who swindles $5 billion from a banking system might be deemed fit by one, but a lowlife by everyone else. Fortunately, swindling is usually seen as being immoral...
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 11:39 AM
Response to Original message
7. Love vs lust.
Edited on Sat May-10-08 11:40 AM by HypnoToad
One fulfills needs in life.

The other seems filling, but is generally deemed cheap and dirty -- often for the right reasons; cold sores are annoying.

If "love" was a fabricated condition, what if it was made to get people not to be so lusty and ending upo giving diseases and other things to people who wouldn't want such things, much less all sorts of unwanted babies?

Of course, I love my parrots. That love is emotional, not sexual. I am sick of the modern media ramping everything up as sexual and procreation. I love my hobbies, as they add to my experience as much as my job does. Lust would be buying a personal blimp. I don't need one, where would I go, and chances are someone would fire a BB gun into it anyway.
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