You know there are times I wonder what it will take to wake people up

[nadinbrzezinski]

and yes I a aware folks are FINALLY voting

Anyhow, last Saturday we went to the wedding of a friend.

They did tnis in less than a mothn, but one of the tihngs they could not afford was a photographer

My hubby has a very good camera, so he took the photos, based on what our wedding photographer did oh.... ten years ago and it seems in another country

Think about it... as I burn the pictures into DVDs and burn the lightcribe direct labeling (Yep first use of the sucker)... I was thinking... how many other couples out there have to cut what are even major corners. Yes, having photos of yer wedding are not a luxury, but a real need for memory sake

But I had to think about it, how many folks out there really don't even have that? Becuase they simply cannot afford it in this economy.

And this is just an example of many we can think all the time

[bdamomma]

1. I can hear "brother can you spare a dime" but in our case

it will be more than that. Never say never huh?

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. Doing their album, and that is exaxctly what this is

is in some ways our digital way of brother can you spare a dime!

Some of the things we heard though. I mean one of his guests, he'll never get a passport since big brother would get data. So he was shocked when I told him... no need to do that, they already do

He didn't even know that all that goes into the internets (Fuck hoover) goes into guv'ment databases, or that party lines are back.

The passport is truly a last step

[gateley]

2. Someone posted a story on DU the other day

about a kid who didn't show up to his recital, even though he was going to play a solo. When he returned to school, his teacher asked why he hadn't come, and the kid had to say because his mom couldn't afford the gas. :cry:

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. Read the story

and as I said, as the second DVD with phots burns, I can only think... how many folks are hurting? This kid, this not so young couple... but ...

[bdamomma]

5. for some strange reason may be all this heart ache will unite us

and we will act.

[deadmessengers]

6. Photos are a need?

aving photos of yer wedding are not a luxury, but a real need for memory sake

I couldn't possibly disagree more on this one. One does not NEED a professional photographer for a wedding. They might want one, but at no time is it a NEED - really, the only needs for a wedding are a marriage license and a visit to the courthouse for a ceremony performed by a judge - everything over and above that is 100% optional.

The problem is that people have been conditioned by decades of "Modern Bride" magazine (I once heard MB called "the publishing arm of the bridal-industrial complex") and it's ilk that a huge extravagant wedding seems like an absolute necessity. It's not - and if you think it is, you've been had. A few years ago, one couple that I know spent more than I took home that year on their wedding, and it seemed like my wife and I were the only ones that thought it was a little over the top.

[magellan]

7. I don't understand the need for all the extravagance myself

We had a civil ceremony and a reception in our back garden with about 30 people, and paid for the whole thing ourselves. Cost $3500. I'm as much a romantic as the next girl, and I was very satisfied with the day -- and the photos, which family took and gifted us with.

Married 13 years and still going strong. I wonder how many couples drop tens of thousands on their wedding and are still paying off the bills when they file for divorce.

[Missy Vixen]

9. What you "need" may be different than what someone else "needs".

>One does not NEED a professional photographer for a wedding.<

Of course not. It doesn't matter if you've invited all your loved ones to an event you'd like to record and remember. I realize that there are those who can take a fairly good amateur photo, and those who can't at all. For those who would rather have their memories recorded by a professional, it doesn't make them a spendthrift to actually hire a photographer for a wedding.

We were married in 1993. A large chunk of our $2500 budget went to a photographer. I don't regret spending the $500 on his fee at all.

I am consistently amazed at the one-upmanship that pervades this site. After all, no matter what it is, count on the idea that your decisions will never, ever pass the DU test.

Julie

[deadmessengers]

11. You're confusing desires with needs.

You desired a wedding with a big party afterward. You desired a photographer at that wedding. You desired to have a wedding where all your loved ones were present. You didn't NEED to have any of those things, because you would have ended up just as married after a one hour and $70 trip to the courthouse.

That's the point I am making here: we are so blinded by what we desire, that we are no longer able to separate that from what we need.

[InkAddict]

12. I was a mother-of-the-bride who was planning a small

traditional wedding for a daughter when the Father of the Bride was laid off yet again...The church and officiant reserved, the gown purchased, the reception restaurant room chosen and a menu selected--On the day deposits were due, the bride, with her parents blessings, flew across the country to marry her love, on a weekday afternoon, at the government office, in a street-length white dress, instead of the gown hung in the closet, in the church, and without the prescence of her live's friends and family. No one gave the bride away. It was the first wedding that the magistrate, a Latino, like the groom, performed in English (very humorous). Our memories were caught in a couple 35 mm photos at the ceremony and the dining room of the in-laws, and a short video w/audio. It's a bittersweet tale of a love that has continued to endure for 12 years, and I'm not sitting around crying when I see how this couple meets daily life with generousity, courage, trust, and love. I would like to be a Grandma some day, but it's not my call. All things considered including the direction of this country and the lottery of literal lurking recessive genes combined with some ugly "learned" nurturing (can it be called that?), maybe it's a good thing...

[havocmom]

8. Wedding pictures? How about food?

Wayward daughter emailed: Was at market, heading back to her office across the street, complete stranger comes up and asks if she knew of anyplace that had tomatoes that "didn't cost an arm and a leg". She wished the woman good luck and suggested perhaps she could call around.

"The woman's face contorted into a "thar she blows" expression, fury blazing in eyes that were already squinting from the sun. 'Yeah, that's because of that THING we have in the White House!' "

Pictures are not a real necessity. FOOD, now there's a problem. And the giant corporations have control of that just as surly as the oil companies control the fuel.

Wedding pictures? I have two or three, taken by new sister-in-law with her Instamatic. And in the early 70s, things weren't nearly so bad.

[LWolf]

10. My first wedding, in 1977,

was held in the groom's church. We paid $35 for the pastor to marry us. No decorations of any kind, we just walked down the aisle, with a friend playing the piano and another friend taking pictures. The "reception" was at the new in-laws home, with a salad and a store-bought cake.

My second wedding was in Vegas in 1990. We paid a little more; about $385. For that, we got a limo to pick us up at our hotel, drive us to the courthouse for the license, and then to the chapel. They handed me some flowers, I walked down the aisle, and a "tired" minister married us. "Tired" because the "Re" part of the stamp on the marriage certificate was worn away and didn't show up. The limo dropped us off at the hotel, and the 10 people that came to see us married had drinks with us in the pool lobby, and then left.

Another friend took pictures at the little chapel.

What I really wanted out of those marriages was love, trust, and fidelity. It wasn't about the big moment, but the rest of our lives.

I still have the pictures. One of the ex-husbands has passed away. The other is still living the same life I had to exit 7 years ago to make room for someone else in my bed.

I don't look at them often, but I pull them out now and then to make sure I don't lose myself, and my life, through shutting out the painful parts.

The pictures, taken by a friend rather than a professional photographer, lasted longer than the marriages did.

The pictures that your husband took will mean just as much as anything they would have paid a professional for.