(Humor): Revelations in Scott McClellan's Memoirs

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Revelations in Scott McClellan's Memoirs

Jay Dyckman

In his memoirs, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception, former White House press secretary Scott McClellan reveals that Bush "convinces himself to believe what suits his needs at the moment," and was not "open or forthright on Iraq."

What?? OMFG! What else? Is the sky blue? Tell me more, Scott!

p. 23 During the lead-up to the Iraq war, Rumsfeld would often break into uncontrollable crying jags, and required repeated assurances that his mother, most likely, did love him.

p. 32 Early into her husband's administration, Laura Bush settled on smiling as her signature issue. When asked why, she was overheard suggesting that "child poverty and AIDS" would "just sorta work themselves out."

p. 51 Colin Powell's beloved pet Golden Retriever was returned unharmed, as promised, the day after his presentation to the United Nations Security Council.

p. 76 U.S. attorneys are not anything like a T.G.I. Friday's employee and tend to care, a lot, when they get fired.

p. 79 Yes, we actually did drink Kool-Aid. It's the president's favorite drink.

p. 82 Not only did Karl Rove lie to me about his involvement in the U.S. attorney purge, but that bitch was also probably lying when he said I looked like I had lost a few pounds!

p. 87 Condi's stories about the fun times she had with her "roommate" over the weekend just got really pathetic by early 2004.

p. 95 When the Cheney tells you to "get your fat butt out there and sing the goddam WMD song to the press corps," you do it.

p. 99 Kanye West hit the nail on the head. We really didn't care at all.

p. 103 Cheney would often shed his human form just to lighten the mood during all-nighters.

p. 125 Publishing a tell-all memoir four years after a similar display of candor would have had an actual impact is probably not enough to keep one out of hell...http://www.236.com/blog/w/jay_dyckman/revelations_in_scott_mcclellan_6781.php