The reasons I'm voting Republican, DAMIT!

[dave123williams]

I'm voting Republican because I've never actually read the bible, but think it's a good idea to legislate selected passages in to law!

I'm voting Republican because I LOVE this war, but have never actually served in combat!

I'm voting Republican because I campaigned on family values, even though there's a dead male hooker buried under the concrete in the floor of our shed!

I'm voting Republican because I believe that borrowing money to deficit finance a tax cut for rich people in the middle of a two front war, which we're also deficit financing, is sound conservative fiscal policy!

I'm voting Republican because I believe Jesus personally put Bush in the Whitehouse, and tucks him in every single night!

Why, I could believe in flying spaghetti monsters, and if you didn't yield before that belief, I could become offended to the point of being mortified that you don't respect my core values.

THAT'S why I'm voting Republican!

Well, on refelction, I guess the real reason I'm voting Republican, is that Koolaid is fucking delicious.

[orleans]

1. ...you forgot your sarcasm mark

note from skinner:

"You may not post threats to vote third party, to vote McCain, to not vote, or to write-in a Democrat other than Barack Obama. As in 2004, we will permit some room for sincere expressions of ambivalence toward voting for the Democratic nominee. But we're not going to permit this website to be used for much beyond that. If it looks like you are trying to get people to withhold their votes from Senator Obama, then we're likely to conclude that that is your intent.
http://journals.democraticunderground.com/Skinner/255

[dave123williams]

4. My God, wasn't that clearly sarcastic enough for you?

[Indenturedebtor]

5. Not for me. Those are exactly the reasons I'm voting Puke

Minus the dead hooker thing... we don't have a shed. We had to stash mine in the water heater closet.

[orleans]

6. yes it was. wasn't mine?

[cliffordu]

2. I'm was with you till the flying spaghetti monster....

Some shit is just too difficult to believe.

Raptor Jesus, however, is another thing altogether.....

[Breeze54]

3. No critique... I'll just laugh!!

:P

Thanks for that! ;)

[krispos42]

7. Don't forget that Republicans are strong on defense!

Errr, defense spending, that is...

[Echo In Light]

8. Has everyone seen the hilarious "why I'm voting repub" vid over in the PV forum?

If not, by all means do...:bounce:

[Mabus]

12. Not only did I see it, I K&R'ed it

Then I sent a link to my friends and posted it on my facebook and myspace pages. That was a riot.

[solara]

9. *gigglesnort*

INVESTIGATE IMPEACH INDICT INCARCERATE :patriot:

:kick:

[snappyturtle]

10. Good one! heehee! nt

[Mabus]

11. I'm voting Republican because I believe in the sanctity of marriage

and so do my five ex-wives, my current fiance and my mistress. Not to mention that I've spent too much time instilling the sanctity of marriage and marriage vows into the heads my legitimate and illegitimate kids to watch it get pissed away. I just can't sit idly by and let those darn liberals into office. I mean, they might let gays marry and then my marriage vows, every single one of them, would be meaningless!

Edited to add: Besides, the only way I know my vote will count is if I vote Republican. Otherwise, it might get deleted, changed or trashed. I want my vote to count. So, to ensure that it is, I'm voting Republican.



:sarcasm: