BronxBoy
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Tue Jul-15-08 06:45 PM
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nate festus here. nates daddy. He comes here calling hisself bronxboy but his momma named him nate. he'll always be nate.
anyway, I came home from driving my cab last night and all I could hear from the basement was nate just a laughin and a yellin. hes been like this before but I tend not to bother too much as nate is, well, special. Anyway he was making such a ruckus, I had to go down and see what was wrong. and there he was. In his underwear with the a shit eating grin on his face. I asked him "Boy. What you doin down here?" He just pointed at the screen and I saw that godawful message he left for you folks last night and how it's got you all in a tizzy.
Ah'm so sorry he came here bothering you folks with this stuff. That boy don't know nothin about no safire or any other types of jewelries. He wasn't raised that way. We ain't had no money for him to know about that type of stuff.
Lord have mercy, Ah'm so glad his momma has gone on to glory. it woulda killed her to see him coming here and making a stone cold fool of himself. Tellin you nice people what's acceptable and what's not. You don't need him for that.
But truth be told, I reckon it's his mommas fault. I told her she didn't need to keep doing wash to send that boy to Tubman's School of Cosmetology and Pundahtree. But she wanted him to be a barber and open a barber shop and sell them rocks out the back like his cousin ray ray. She had such high hopes for the boy. But he spent more time in the other part. I thought they was teaching the boy how to plant shit. not write on no damn computer. I guess ah'm to blame too. I shoulda put my foot down. he coulda learned how to sell rocks like everyone else does. in the streets. but you know how it is. you can't control a black woman when she wants her way. my daddy always used to say "the only thing madder than a black woman is a black man that can't have a white woman" Ain't that the truth. God rest his soul.
So to all you folks who said he didn't know what he was talkin about. you wuz right. Hell, that's a nice picture! That there Michell looks just like my niece, twiniesha. and even though everyone in the barber shops and the beauty salons and the fish stores all say it was a very disrespectful picture, he didn't have no call to come here and butt his nose into your people's bizness. we may not like the picture and think it's disrespectful but we were learned to not bother you folks about what we think. I brought the damn machine because I thought he would watch 40 oz bounce and play with himself. Not to be coming here bothin you peoples.
So please forgive the boy. Like I said, he wasn't raised around no jewelries and stuff so I don't know why he came round here getting in all of you folks bizness. That was a really pretty picture that man drewed and I can seem why so of you got mad. and like I told him last night. Ain't no room full of well meaning important folks gonna let no pictures of us that's really bad be put on the magazine.
we got him tied to the radiaitor in the next room. but he's good at gettin loose. If he comes back here botherin you all tell him that you know HIS BUTT IS ASHY.
that's right he got an ashy butt. not shiny, ashy. boys been ashy since then day he was born. tell him that you know that his brother cornbread died in the great west bronx fire. and it started when all that vaseline his momma had to keep around ignited when cornbread flicked that ash off his blunt. That always puts him in his place.
"kiss my shiny black ass"
Lord have mercy, where did we go wrong??????
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babylonsister
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Tue Jul-15-08 06:50 PM
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1. I heard you're famous, BronxBoy. Your righteous rant from |
BronxBoy
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Tue Jul-15-08 06:59 PM
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They played that there mess on the radio?????
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babylonsister
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:01 PM
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3. Apparently yes; I didn't hear it, but I did read your rant, and loved it! nt |
BronxBoy
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:06 PM
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What kinda place is this. See ya'll been encouragin that boy!
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Flying Dream Blues
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:07 PM
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5. It just gets better, BronxBoy. You are a treasure, you and your ashy butt! :) nt |
malaise
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:08 PM
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6. This one's pretty good as well |
BronxBoy
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:16 PM
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7. That's why that boy is the way he is |
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encouragin such stuff. I told you he should be watchin 40 oz bounce. We need to keep that boy occupied.
Why is this place underground anyway. what you people got to hide?
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malaise
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Tue Jul-15-08 09:23 PM
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ismnotwasm
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:17 PM
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Now THAT's some awesome satire.
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BronxBoy
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Tue Jul-15-08 07:23 PM
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9. Don't mean to correct you son |
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but its safire.
no wonder nate is crazy as a bedbug
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Catherine Vincent
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Tue Jul-15-08 10:01 PM
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11. BronxBoy....you are one cool dude! |
malaise
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Tue Jul-15-08 10:03 PM
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12. I'm betting that BronxBoy read an awful lot of |
intheflow
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Tue Jul-15-08 10:07 PM
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13. You had a brother named cornbread? |
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:rofl:
I gotta hand it to you, BB, this is a masterpiece. :thumbsup:
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TahitiNut
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Tue Jul-15-08 10:19 PM
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Edited on Tue Jul-15-08 10:22 PM by TahitiNut
Masterful. Simply masterful. Namaste.
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Gregorian
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Tue Jul-15-08 10:27 PM
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15. Everybody fist bump! All together now... |
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Let's start a national frenzy.
Well, now that you 'splained it, I guess it was funny after all.
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Psyop Samurai
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Wed Jul-16-08 01:14 AM
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Number23
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Wed Jul-16-08 05:36 AM
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Edited on Wed Jul-16-08 05:37 AM by Number23
Ain't no room full of well meaning important folks gonna let no pictures of us that's really bad be put on the magazine.
:rofl: *gasp* *wheeze*
If he comes back here botherin you all tell him that you know HIS BUTT IS ASHY.
((wiping tears off my face))
I can just see the self-proclaimed members of DU Mensa scratching their heads so hard they draw blood after reading this.
That's it! Oh yeah, Bronxboy. I'm looking out for ya, now!!!
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Wed May 08th 2024, 02:41 AM
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