Found the agenda for the 2008 Republican National Convention

[ck4829]

September 1, 2008
Opening prayer by Pat Robertson and other "agents of intolerance"
Find out if the "surge" is still working
Say America desperately needs to drill more and Americans are suffering at the pump
Awkward silence when Exxon's record profits are mentioned
Find out if the "surge" is still working
Burn an Obama effigy
Blame things on Liberals hour
Find out if the "surge" is still working
Speech by reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan
Close with finding out if the "surge" is still working

September 2, 2008
"9/11, 9/11, 9/11..." for 15 minutes - By Rudy Giuliani
President XXXXXX X XXXX comes to the convention (Closed to reporters)
Find out if the "surge" is still working
Dick Cheney announces the insurgency is in it's last throes
"It's time to liberate the freedom fighters from GITMO!" - By Oliver North
Tackle Oliver North off of the stage
Announcing a new era of "compassionate conservatism"... by nuking the poor
Find out if the "surge" is still working
President XXXXXX X XXXX makes a gaffe while thinking his mic is turned off
Close with finding out if the "surge" is still working

September 3, 2008
America is good!
Certain Americans, like liberals, feminists, and gays, are bad!
15 minutes talking about the sanctity of life
30 minutes talking about supporting war in Iraq
30 minutes talking about ending social programs for the poor
President XXXXXX X XXXX makes a gaffe while thinking his mic is turned off
Find out if the "surge" is still working
Camera accidentally records Cheney strangling an Iraqi child and drinking her blood
Cheney shoots cameraman
Find out if the "surge" is still working

September 4, 2008
President XXXXXX X XXXX makes a speech
McCain nominated
Republicans praying so they won't be completely humiliated in November

[GreenInNC]

1. Thanks

Just had Diet Coke go out my nose.

[Toucano]

2. You are fantastic!

I love this.

[AnnieBW]

3. Side trips to the Larry Craig Memorial Men's Room

are extra.