Obama's Hillbilly Half-Brother Threatening To Derail Campaign

[meegbear]

Barack Obama's once-commanding lead in the polls slipped to two points Monday, continuing a month-long slide that many credit to the recent appearance of the Democratic candidate's heretofore unknown half-brother, Cooter Obama.

Long kept a family secret, the overalls-clad, straw-chewing Kentuckian first entered the public spotlight in July, when he drove his 1982 Ford flatbed pickup through the press corps at an Obama rally in order to inform his brother that he caught the skunk that had been living under his front porch. According to witnesses, Cooter's skunk proceeded to spray Washington Post political reporter Michael D. Shear in the face.

"Sorry 'bout that, mister! Some tomater juice'll take care of the stank," Cooter said as his mortified younger brother led him off the stage. "Shoot, Barack, you didn't tell me you was runnin' for president!"

Since Cooter's emergence on the national scene, the Obama campaign has downplayed the brothers' relationship. A statement issued last week by Obama's top adviser, David Axelrod, claimed that the two lived together only for a brief period in 1981, shortly before Barack left to attend Columbia University and Cooter had to drop out of chicken-killing school because an air conditioner fell on his head.

Nonetheless, political experts said Cooter's increased visibility in recent weeks has hurt Obama's polling among urban, upper-middle-class, non-straw-hat-wearing voters. The Obama camp has scrambled to control the damage caused by Cooter's penchants for loudly practicing his banjo during Obama's speeches, repeatedly referring to Barack by his childhood nickname, "Ol' Jelly Legs," and chasing his troublemaking pig, Mbogo, in the nude in the background of Obama's CNN interview on the importance of education.

The problem came to a head last week, advisers said, when Cooter arrived unannounced at a $100-a-plate fundraiser, slipped past security, and proffered a jug of moonshine to the high-society donors, claiming it would "straighten their curlies." In addition, dozens of would-be attendees at a Cedar Rapids, IA town-hall meeting Sunday were turned away at the door by the elder Obama, who was sitting at the entrance in a rocking chair and brandishing a double-barreled shotgun.

"What Sen. Obama's half-brother meant to communicate was that he was pleased that the candidate's message of change is fostering vigorous dialogue," Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton said following the incident. "In no way was his proposal to 'fill y'all's backsides with rock salt' intended to be taken in any other way."

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http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obamas_hillbilly_half_brother

[Captain Hilts]

1. I laughed out loud when I picked up an Onion. Every Dem prez has one! nt

[CatWoman]

3. "Cooter"???

:rofl:

[Bobbieo]

9. Will you still be laughing when Pres McCain takes office.? If the convention

if riddled with crap lke this - we will lose the election. My sense of humor left quite some time ago and this stuff will not bring it back. We are running a tight race here and discretion should be the word of the day. Sorry, to be such a "spoil sport" but I am scared!!!!

[MrCoffee]

11. I still have my sense of humor left,

which is why I can laugh at you.


Run Chicken Little, RUN!

[jobycom]

13. Valium

is not your nickname! :rofl:

[Bobbieo]

16. I'm not chicken- I've got more guts than you will ever have - but

I see what is happening here and it is not terror it it just plain stupidity.

[MrCoffee]

17. You see what is happening where?

It's a hilarious joke from some gifted parody writers.

If a piece from the Onion = a McCain win in your eyes, you should seriously consider closing them until December.

And the Chicken Little reference has to do with the sky falling, Captain Obvious.

[Bobbieo]

18. I remember 1968!!!!! so let's not repeat the mistake!

[MrCoffee]

19. I have no idea what you're talking about

So thanks for the enlightening response.

[Dreamer Tatum]

2. Oh my.

:popcorn:

[wryter2000]

4. self-delete

never mind

[jobycom]

7. Popcorn ain't gonna cover this one.

:yoiks:

[polmaven]

12. You're right.

We may need to go see Cindy for this one.

[MrCoffee]

5. That photo is outrageous and I for one am pissed!

Cooter's sign should read "Hell YEA Ya'll Can!"


What trash.

[greenman3610]

6. Jerome Corsi's next book

[jobycom]

8. "In the past two weeks, Obama has lost support from such groups

as PETA, which withdrew its endorsement when Cooter punched a swan in the face, claiming it was "one of them mean ones"; the Clean Energy Group, which protested Cooter's recent attempt to fry a squirrel in a flaming 20-gallon barrel of diesel fuel; and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), whom Cooter mistook for an outhouse Monday and urinated on for 35 seconds."

[npk]

10. Is that Chris Rock?

I was wondering what he'd been up to.

[Qutzupalotl]

14. I hate myself for laughing at this.

Shit, maybe I *am* an elitist....

[Matariki]

15. Are they comparing Obama to Carter

where's the Billy Beer?

[depakid]

20. "where's the Billy Beer? "

If you had an unopened sixer of that stuff, imagine what it would bring at auction?

[Sal Minella]

21. Well heck, he's certainly better looking than Jeb.

[Bucky]

22. "had to drop out of chicken-killing school because an air conditioner fell on his head"

:rofl: Goddamn the Onion kills me! :rofl: