An Abortion Sets Major Milestone in Her Life

[ccharles000]

By Joy Pincus
WeNews correspondent
Monitoring a fetal anomaly left Joy Pincus hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. In the end she followed doctors' advice to have a late-term abortion. The decision is a milestone marking the unpredictability of life and the value of choice.


(WOMENSENEWS)--I have several milestones by which I measure my life; like moving to Israel, deciding to get married or quitting my job to become a full-time freelance writer.

Today, however, my life is divided into two distinct periods: before and after my abortion.

After a few years of trying to conceive, my spouse and I were overjoyed when our first attempt at in-vitro fertilization succeeded; doubly so, because six weeks later we discovered I was pregnant with twins. At age 39, I would be giving birth just short of my 40th birthday. I found a midwife and began to plan for my perfect home birth, which of course would be preceded by as few ultrasounds or other intervening procedures as possible. It all felt like a dream come true.

That feeling lasted about six weeks, until the first test results came in and we understood that fetal development would have to be carefully monitored. From that moment on, my spouse and I found ourselves strapped in a nightmare of a rollercoaster ride. When that ride finally ended, seven months had passed and we faced one of the most difficult decisions of our lives.

Knowing that something may or may not be very wrong with one's unborn children demands a precarious psychological balance. One has to walk a very thin line between expectation and resignation; simultaneously hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I walked that line as best I could.


http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/3703/context/ourdailylives

[Mz Pip]

1. What the anti-choice crowd

refuses to understand is that situations like this are very very rare. Woman do not just decide after 7 months to have an abortion for no good reason and no ethical doctor would perform one for no good reason.

I have a friend who is anti-abortion but believes that abortions should be allowed in these cases because it is far more humane for not just the mother but for the fetus as well.

[yellowdogintexas]

2. It just appalls me that the anti-choice crowd believes a woman would just arbitrarily

up and decide to do this ..just get up one day and decide she doesn't want to be pregnant any more.

A person of my acquaintance (couldn't really call her a friend as I only met her a couple or 3 times) was pregnant at same time I was. I did not see her for a long time, in fact my own daughter was about 3 the next time I did see her. So, as we will, I asked her if I was remembering correctly that we were both pregnant at the same time. And she said yes and told me her story.

Her baby, also a girl, was aneural. No brainstem, and some other anomalies, if I recall correctly. After much turmoil and evaluation of her health, and all options, they did end the pregnancy, at 8 months. There were also potential risks to her (the pregnant woman), but I don't remember exactly what..it was 25 years ago.) I apologized profusely but she told me it was OK, that it was nice to talk about her, and that she had been thinking all weekend that her daughter would be about the age of mine if she had been healthy. We did a little crying together that night.

These things happen, and it is terribly sad. We should be like Israel and support these women, not condemn them.

Thinking about the woman I knew, I understand that if she had gone to term and the baby had not died in utero, that living but doomed baby would not have been allowed to die with dignity and the family would have been put through an unending spiral of emotional torture and financial destruction because the child would have subjected to every kind of life sustaining method possible. So I understand their choice.

[Liberal Dose]

4. Thank you for calling them what they are. Anti-Choice. nt

[Cerridwen]

3. K & R. I don't dare do more. n/t

[crimsonblue]

5. but but but....

I thought only single black women got abortions.. That's what the right wing blogs tell me. :sarcasm:

[Hekate]

6. This is an incredibly moving and compassionate story.

:kick:

Hekate